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Help...broken into pieces.

How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You...
How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You OR Yourself!!

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Hi all,

I've read a lot of threads and saw that there really is a bunch of understanding people out there.This might be long because I'll say everything I want to in one post but please bear with me. So here goes my story and I really dont know what will come out because I feel terrible right now and I'm also listening to Everything I Do from Bryan Adams...


My 2 year relationship with S is over. We broke up...I don't know 2 weeks ago? I can't really remember spesifically. I try not to think on a date or that day will be cursed for me forever. She was my first gf. I thought I nailed it with a single try. She told me that I was everything that a woman wanted and needed. She was the luckiest girl on the planet and she wouldn't even let any other girl TRY to reach me. I was her angel, she told me. I did everything I did planning ahead. Thinking that she would be my wife and we would live together. She wrote me little letters from the future with a signature "Your lovely wife"


I was her third bf. But she told me that it was like I was her first. No one made her feel love like i did. I really...REALLY loved her. I didn't play it safe. I gave her my everything. How could I have known? This was not even a possibility for me. My friends tell me that this is how relationships are. That I shouldn't give my all. That I shouldn't trust people all the way. But...How? How can you love someone without trusting them? And they tell me that I'm a hopeless romantic. Yes I am. Yes I love with everything I've got. But am I alone? I thought with her we could overcome anything. But she told me that she couldn't take the responsibility of a relationship...but also that she loved me. What do I make of this? I said I didn't want to be friends. So we erased every single way of communicating with each other. Destroyed every bridge. Changed back our stuff. But I miss her. GOD I miss her. How can she say that she can't handle a relationship after 2 years? She was doing it for 2 years for gods sake. My self-confidence is shattered into pieces. I don't want another person as my wife. I don't want to be alone. I want to talk and laugh like we used to... How I hate my life now. Life itself has lost its meaning.


I cried today like I never cried before. It felt good at first. But now the same feelings are back. My dreams, my life, my future. shattered into pieces and now I am just a broken piece of glass.


You know the worst part? I can't hate her. She never knew what she was doing. Even when breaking up she said she still loved me and I dared her to kiss me and she did. She didn't know what she wanted. But she didn't want a relationship. But I couldn't stand being her friend.


Who breaks up when they are happy anyway? She was so happy with me. She even cried when I said I can't be the friends-like thing she wanted us to be.


Now what? What do I do? Where do I go? I have a good career ahead of me but what good is it if I can't spend the money for us. I have friends but no one can understand me like she did.


Even if I tried I can't find someone like her. Hell, I can't find someone who will like me. My friends disagree with me. They think I'm smart and funny. That I could have any girl I want. I can't see myself going after another girl.


and I hate knowing that a chance to live a perfect life with her is gone forever.

Help? Please? Is this normal?

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I know EXACTLY how you feel... my gf of 2 years broke up with me for what she said were the same reason a what yours said. She basically told me the samethings your ex told you while you were together and like you, I took it really hard and 2 months later i'm still taking it pretty hard but believe me when I say, it gets better, you may not think so now but it will.


The last 2 months have been a real wake up call for me and Ive changed quite a bit ive even decided on my career which has taken me almost 5 years to figure out lol. The only think you can really do to ease the pain is to focus on your own life now, you said you have a good career ahead of you, focus on it cause when you do find someone that you truly love again, knowing that you have a good career will make life that much better.


Hobbies and this forum have been the biggest help in my healing process so whenever your feelling upset pick up a camera, broom (if your into cleaning or w/e and just go out and do something, keep yourself busy so you cant think about her. She sounds like she really does love you so who knows, she might even come back to you but dont sit around waiting, dont put your life on hold for her as chances are shes not.

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Welcome to ENA, and I'm sorry you have to be here. I don't want to annoy you with a bunch of well-intentioned but placating gestures. What you're going through is incredibly painful, but it IS normal.


After you give your all to a relationship, you simply can't bounce back that easily and it is quite normal to have a difficult time looking to your future without that person in your life. Honestly, don't even try to think of someone new right now, or worry about your age or finding someone else. Concentrate on working through your emotions and use this experience to make yourself a better person.


If she suddenly had a change of heart, or developed some sort of irrational fear of committing to a relationship, that is outside your sphere of influence. And I understand... that the feeling of powerlessness is overpowering.


For what it's worth, I completely disagree with your friends. I don't see how you can have a successful relationship without giving it your all 100% of the time. I'd much rather go through life in a string of heartbreaks, knowing I was giving my all and living life to the fullest, than restrain myself in order to "save" my feelings for some future breakup that may never happen.


Keep reading here... hopefully the stories will help you bear your load.

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I hope it gets better. I can't do anything without feeling pain and I can't concentrate. I try not to be alone so I started meeting new people and I'm hanging out with friends more.


What a fool I was. Thinking that "love" is above all. I don't think I can trust any woman for a long time. Maybe ever.

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so sorry to hear about your pain. and i'm sure you don't want to believe that it will get easier with time. You don't have to hate her and you shouldn't feel bad about the way you were in your relationship. As to an explanation why she broke up, you are both still very young. Maybe she simply got scared about the idea of a life commitment or the idea that she will not experience new things, new people, new relationships. What ever the reason it is, do not blame yourself. Take good care of yourself and read/post here. It really helps. Hugs to you.

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