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Wife Hit Me...Again


Jabbe
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?

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I just don't understand it and I'm furious that there's not much I can do about it besides feel like less of a man. I'd never hit female, after this nonsense, there's a question burining inside me, and its "Why not?"

 

I'm just so angry right now. I have no plans to retaliate because I'm not spiteful or vengeful. I feel so violated. What kind of person does she take me for, if she thinks she can get away with that? My elbow is bruised and my cuts are still bleeding, yet she bounces away without a scratch.

 

It started after I told her I need to think about where this marriage is headed, from there she claimed I ruined her life and am the reason she's taking antidepressants. First of all, my wife never takes responsibility for the things SHE causes. Everything is ALWAYS everyone's fault besides her's. Her mom can even tell you that.

 

Last month, she was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with depressive moods. She tried to kill herself by overdosing on pills. I'm skeptical about that whole situation...

 

We're not living together at the moment. I don't feel safe around her right now. I see the marriage heading down in flames and feel like there's nothing I should try to do to save it.

 

We had our 2yr anniversary last week, but 3 isn't look so likely.

 

What should I do? Can't I press charges or something?

 

What are your thoughts?

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This is totally not acceptable. Just because she's suffering from a mental disorder, doesn't mean she has a right to abuse you.

 

Yes, you can press charges. Especially if you still have the scars, there's still proof of what she did.

 

Do you really want to press charges? Maybe you should just completely cut everything off with her & file for divorce.

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This is abuse/domestic violence. You should file a restraining order. Contact the police ASAP and report what happened. If I were you, I'd take pics of the injuries. I would also contact a divorce lawyer.

 

I see the marriage heading down in flames and feel like there's nothing I should try to do to save it.

 

If she is abusive, the best thing you can do is get out of this relationship before she ruins your life.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this,

 

Bella

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The question is, so you want to go through all the drama of having her arrested?

 

I have to respectfully disagree here. I think that if he has these injuries:

 

My elbow is bruised and my cuts are still bleeding, yet she bounces away without a scratch.

 

she should be arrested.

 

It might help with this too:

 

First of all, my wife never takes responsibility for the things SHE causes
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This is totally not acceptable. Just because she's suffering from a mental disorder, doesn't mean she has a right to abuse you.

 

Yes, you can press charges. Especially if you still have the scars, there's still proof of what she did.

 

Do you really want to press charges? Maybe you should just completely cut everything off with her & file for divorce.

 

 

I guess I don't want things getting more out of control. I'm definitely going to separate myself from her for awhile along with reading up on divorce laws for the state we got married in.

 

Honestly, I'm always confused and in shock when it's happening. All I did the whole time was shout "What you're doing isn't necessary," but she just carried on.

 

The part of me that still loves her is being stupid. I just feel sick and confused. I just want a life without drama, but drama seems to have it out for me.

 

I've done everything a husband would do for his wife and then some, and this is what I get in return...

 

Thank you for your reply.

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First and foremost, call the police and get photos of your injuries, along with the restraining order. That way if she tries to retaliate you have the proof...If they pay her a little visit they will see she is uninjured....There is no reason in the world you should have to put up with abuse from another individual simply on the basis of their sex....

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I guess I don't want things getting more out of control. I'm definitely going to separate myself from her for awhile along with reading up on divorce laws for the state we got married in.

 

Honestly, I'm always confused and in shock when it's happening. All I did the whole time was shout "What you're doing isn't necessary," but she just carried on.

 

The part of me that still loves her is being stupid. I just feel sick and confused. I just want a life without drama, but drama seems to have it out for me.

 

I've done everything a husband would do for his wife and then some, and this is what I get in return...

 

Thank you for your reply.

 

You can't stay with someone like this. My father abused my mother for years and years, & she "loved him too much" to walk out. She had hopes that he would miraculously change. It went on for so long that he eventually began abusing me, & that's when she decided to put an end to it...

 

Love isn't enough. Just because you love her, doesn't mean you should stick around. This definitely is not a healthy relationship, & she obviously has problems & needs to get help.

 

Maybe you can move out for a while, until you calm down a bit, then proceed with the divorce.

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Of course you can press charges, just cause its a women that hit the man doesn't make acceptable. Do you want to work things out with her or do you think there isn't anything to save at this point?

 

I have mixed emotions because of this thing we call love. Part of me wants it to work, but the other part says get away as fast as you can as soon as possible.

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This is abuse/domestic violence. You should file a restraining order. Contact the police ASAP and report what happened. If I were you, I'd take pics of the injuries. I would also contact a divorce lawyer.

 

 

If she is abusive, the best thing you can do is get out of this relationship before she ruins your life.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this,

 

Bella

 

Thank you, Bella. I took pics of the injuries last night, and even put my bro on video camera as witness to the whole thing right after is happened. Something told me I should do that for the future.

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You can't stay with someone like this. My father abused my mother for years and years, & she "loved him too much" to walk out. She had hopes that he would miraculously change. It went on for so long that he eventually began abusing me, & that's when she decided to put an end to it...

 

Love isn't enough. Just because you love her, doesn't mean you should stick around. This definitely is not a healthy relationship, & she obviously has problems & needs to get help.

 

Maybe you can move out for a while, until you calm down a bit, then proceed with the divorce.

You're right. I can't let love cloud my judgement. This is clearly not healthy. I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm just going to take a deep breath and get through these long days. I'll get information and follow through with a restraining order.

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Does a restraining order cost anything?

 

They will give you a temporary order, I believe good for ten days, then you go before a judge and he will hear your case and decide if the order is just. At that time he will either drop the order or make it effective for 1 year (or longer if he sees fit)... In your case you will be granted the order....She will not be allowed within 500 ft of you and she will not be allowed to speak to or to call you...

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I applaud you for not hitting her back. I know its emasculating that she feels she can have this freedom to wail off on you, and you can only sit there with your head in your hands like "what now?"

 

I'm very sorry this is happening to you. You would be completely surprised to know that many women hit on men, and the men feel too much pride to report it. Sad isn't it?

 

She has already voilated your marriage. Anti depressants, floods, hurricanes, none of this is an excuse to haul off and hit someone you love. Again...I am proud of you for not retaliating.

 

I think you and her would benefit in marriage therapy. If she refuses to go, than your options are few. You may need to remove yourself from her completely. And again..its not ok for her to hit you.

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I disagree that marriage therapy would be a good idea. She is violent and abusive and just as women are advised to leave violent and abusive men the same advice applies.

 

If any therapy is required she is the one who requires it for her anger and violence. But she requires it alone for it is her issue and not yours.

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IN my state/city/county to have it served on them it costs $12.00.

 

I was just looking up more info on that after seeing your post. It seems that in some states there are indeed fees, but there are also opportunities to get a "fee waiver" if the person cannot afford the fee.

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May I ask you something? When she hits you...does she ever seem sorry about it, or is there an air of power and arrogance like she has no regard for her actions?

 

When is the last time she has hit you?

 

Do you ever report her to the police?

 

If you report her, she will know that you will not stand for this type of treatment and she will have to pay for her actions. Just as anyone should.

 

I want to be clear here, that she needs therapy, but you as well since you have been a VICTIM of abuse. You will benefit from therapy as well, only now I will say you go alone, and she go alone. Either way..you need to speak to someone about this professionally. Don't think its your fault or you're a pansy for getting help. You are not. Real men don't hit women, you've shown how strong you are right now.

 

Did you know that over 835,000 men are hit each year and it rarely goes reported. link removed

 

 

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It sounds like it is time to separate from her. btw, if you want a divorce, look into the laws of the state you are currently residing in, where you will file for divorce. Where you married doesn't matter when you file for divorce, but where you live at the time of divorce will apply (unless you are still living in the same state as where you married). You file for divorce in the county courthouse.

 

You need to be careful that she doesn't file false allegations of abuse against you, so it is best that you move out ASAP (or have her move). If you know she is capable of this, then there really is no reason to stick around.

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They will give you a temporary order, I believe good for ten days, then you go before a judge and he will hear your case and decide if the order is just. At that time he will either drop the order or make it effective for 1 year (or longer if he sees fit)... In your case you will be granted the order....She will not be allowed within 500 ft of you and she will not be allowed to speak to or to call you...

I see. It's been a few days and she hasn't been anywhere near me or tried to contact me. I hope she's thinking about what she did to me and realize that it was very wrong.

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