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My Advice for heartbreak


markkram
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I am going to give some advice, even though I am going through the same as many of you. My girlfriend of 2 years left me 3.5 months ago because I could not find a job, even though I am trying so hard. 2 weeks after she broke up with me, she started to date someone else she previously knew. I kept wondering how someone who showed so much love for me, just move on without a second thought? Just before we split, she wrote this unbelievable email, from the heart, stating how much I meant to her, and how much she loves me!

 

There is an ugly term in dating, it's called the "rebound relationship", and happens when someone loses someone they love. It's their way of coping with loss, and to relieve the pain of heartache. I also read that people sometimes transfer feelings onto someone else, giving the impression that their life is going great, and they are onto bigger and better things.

 

There are a lot of posts of people who want the ex back, as do I. But the best thing is to let time take its course. At some point in time, they are going to realize that the person they are with is not the one, and that they gave up something special. So, don't rush out in a panic and try to get her/him back. They feed off your desperation, and the more desperate you seem, the more they will realize that they can do anything because they feel loved.

 

The idea is to get her/him back, but don't let them think that you want her/him back. . The best thing, I think, is to try and improve your way of life, and to reconcile with yourself to ensure you don't make the same mistakes! Try and sound like you have moved on, and are doing great. At that point, they will realize that a mistake was made on their part, and hopefully try to get you back.

 

Good luck to everyone, and to myself. I hope this plan works!!!!

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Well put, I to have been in this situation and your advice is right on. If I may add a couple other suggestions. Working out and getting to the gym helps better your self esteem, not to mention bettering your physical appearance. So the next time your ex does see you he or she will see a positive change and this makes you look all the better.

Like you alluded to patience is the key. Limited contact is ideal and those few moments when you do chat on the phone or via email be as kind as you can, no hard feelings. ONce again this makes you look mature, like you've moved on, and like your ex was in the wrong for breaking up with you in the first place.

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Your advice is uplifting. I broke up with my girlfriend because we were both parting ways to college. we went out for four months but everything happened really quickly. We fell madly in love in the time that we were together. she had one previous relationship before me but it wasn't that good and the guy treated her badly. She broke up with me a month into school and the after math was brutal. I saw her a couple months afterwards when she was home and we decided to meet and talk about things. She was very honest with me in a cold hearted sort of way. almost insulting the relationship we had. like she was justifying her feelings that she once had. I ended that conversation tell her not to change and how special she was.... two weeks later she wrote me an email telling me she was sorry how she treated me because she isn't good at those kind of things and to move on with my life.

It hurt to see someone change so quickly from a loving person to someone so cold. after everything i did for her. I never met someone like her before so excuse me for feeling like i found a diamond in the rough and doing anything for her. she has a new boyfriend now, I haven't spoken to her in 4 months. it hurts me to see how this all played out, we were so close. i think about her often and wonder what could have been. life has been pretty rough for me otherwise in the last couple of months and i've been pretty blue, i think thinking about her doesn't help,, but,, i will take your advice and hope for the best, does it apply in my situation?-- thank you...

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Hi Lonelyblues,

 

I am sorry to hear that you're going such a difficult time. I am sure, though that in the end there will be closure and a healed soul, too. My suggestion is that you take things day by day. Try to keep yourself occupied, too.

 

Last but not least: it's okay to feel hurt. It's a very human, natural reaction. Feel your pain and accept it as part of your healing process.

 

Good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

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Whats up fellas! I feel ya. I recently got dummped about 2 months

ago.I lived with this girl for two years in Georgia.The first year I drank allot and diddnt pay mutch attention to her.She did everything for me,i worked and made good money,but it was her house,and she is a millionair.She gets an inharadance,she only gets about 3000 a month,but everthing she owns is paid for.

I know im jummping around,but please bair with me.Money was never an issue with me.I made my own,but it was nice to be with a girl who was financily stable.(her mom controlled her money anyway)

Like i said idid allot of drinking the first year and diddnt pay much attention to her,and i guess that made her want me more.Well things got hairy and i started going to meeting off and on(this was during the second year)

I started wanting her more and we would split up occasionally.I would move in and out,in and out.This went on for the last 5 months i was with her.

Well the last week i was in Georgia I decided it wasnt going to workout and i decided to move back to Ohio were im from.The day before i left i rode by her house on the way to work and seen a strange car in the driveway.Well i called her and asked her about it,and she said he was a friend nothing more.(bull)She said she would come see me at the hotell before i left for Cincinnati.She never showed.

Well i moved back up north and diddnt talk to her for two months.I got into my work(thougt about her often)but was slowly letting go.Well a couple weeks ago i called.She said nothing happened between her and dickhead,that he was married and had two kids.Well we have been talking fo the past two weeks and she says her and her two daughters were gonna come see me this wedsday(tomorrow)

Well the last i talked to her saturday she said everthing was on.Well ive tried and call her the last three days and she wont answer or return my calls.I guess its just a game for her,she found i was still interested and now dont want me.She was tellin me three day ago how she missed me,loved me,wanted me to be her valintine and all that,makin all these plans just to have me callin and when i start callen reagular she doggs me.I fell for it and am hurin all over again.I guess this guy called over the weekend and she kicked me to the curb.I wont know cuse she wont anser the phone to even give me an excuse....

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Im the one who wrote about the realationship with the girl in Georgia and i moved back to Ohio. She called and said she was coming to visit,but she is supposed to show tomorrow,but wont anser the phone,if you read it i would be greatfull for some replys. its under benji instead of ben i had the wrong e-mail adress.

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