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Whats with the Coffee?


ponyboy

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Ive noticed here alot of people suggest coffee for a first date. I dont know if its an age gap thing, but im 20 and if i asked a girl out for coffee i would probably be get this which would be followed by ](*,).

And what if you dont like coffee?

It seems that the standard of watching a movie is a bad idea from what i read on this forum.

What are some of the things some of you all do for first dates. besides "coffee".

For example i took a girl to an NBA game, only cost about 10 bucks and we had a good time.

Just curious.

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Probably because coffee can last shorter than a meal, movie, or basketball game, if you feel like really bailing out halfway through.

 

That's exactly it. It's a day date that can be bailed on. Basically anything that can be bailed on can replace "coffee". Think of it as a generic filler. A good one, but a filler.

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It is somewhere you can talk, take her for smoothies, or I mean not coffee, they sell other drinks too ya know. It is just somewhere good to converse. In a movie theater your in a dark room, you can't talk or get to know each other. In Cali the "in" thing is Starbucks or frozen yogurt lol.

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Because a Hooka Bar just isn't a good place to warm up to each other, and some people just cant use chop sticks, so Sushi is out. I mean, don't you want to get your potential s/o so wired that free association can run its course and you can potentially catch a Fruedian slip that has a sexual context? Lets think ahead here. Or maybe most people just like coffee since the shops are pretty nuetral and friendly. Im gonna see if my next potential date (if ever) wants to meet at our local sex shop. I think she'll get a hint at what type of relationship im looking for.

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That's exactly it. It's a day date that can be bailed on. Basically anything that can be bailed on can replace "coffee". Think of it as a generic filler. A good one, but a filler.

 

Thats a horrible reason. If being able to bail is a deciding factor for you going on a date with someone then you shouldnt be on the date with that person in the first place imo. Seems as if your allready pre judging them.

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Thats a horrible reason. If being able to bail is a deciding factor for you going on a date with someone then you shouldnt be on the date with that person in the first place imo. Seems as if your allready pre judging them.

 

 

Hardley... whats wrong with accepting the fact that the person could be a dud. Its very likely.. a coffee date can last 20 min or 4 hours.. i've been on both.

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Thats a horrible reason. If being able to bail is a deciding factor for you going on a date with someone then you shouldnt be on the date with that person in the first place imo. Seems as if your allready pre judging them.

 

I met a girl at a party I was stuck at for several hours and had no interest in her. I couldn't leave because I caught a ride with a friend, and he didn't want to leave. Not to mention he had set us up and was dead set on making something happen neither of us wanted. There was no chemistry at all.

 

I met another girl through a different friend that spent 8 straight days with me and I had the best sex of my life with, and we met online. She opted NOT to leave, though she had her car and could have left at any time.

 

I have spent several hours at a coffee shop with a few different girls, and I've called it a day after just 20-30 mins before too.

 

Bailing isn't bad if it's not working for you.

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There are actually good solid reasons for going out for coffee. 1. Find out if you like the person at all 2. Keep it short no matter what even if you are having a great time. I learned this the hard way. I went on a coffee date that lasted 3.5 hours, I thought that she was really into me, but it went the other direction. I believe to this day that if I kept it short I could have managed a second date that would have been more intimate. 3. Researchers have demonstrated that people drinking a warm drink actually feel warmer to the person with whom they are spending time, and more selfish if they are drinking a cold drink. That research probably goes out the window when that cold drink is alcoholic though.

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Hardley... whats wrong with accepting the fact that the person could be a dud. Its very likely.. a coffee date can last 20 min or 4 hours.. i've been on both.

 

Going in with that mentality almost seems "too" casual.

I mean if you interested in someone wouldn't you want to do something interesting with that person?

With coffee all you can do is talk, what if conversation isnt that guy/girl's strong area.

To me it kinda comes off as im only here because its convenient to me not becuase i really wanna spend time/see you.

Do ya see where im coming from a little?

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Going in with that mentality almost seems "too" casual.

I mean if you interested in someone wouldn't you want to do something interesting with that person?

With coffee all you can do is talk, what if conversation isnt that guy/girl's strong area.

To me it kinda comes off as im only here because its convenient to me not becuase i really wanna spend time/see you.

Do ya see where im coming from a little?

 

I can understand what you're saying, but if things really go well, who's to say that it wont lead to something else? (read: dinner, movie [theater or invite to their place], etc.)

 

Coffee is just a good ice breaker and a way to feel the other person out. If it doesn't float your boat, then by all means, do something else.

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Going in with that mentality almost seems "too" casual.

I mean if you interested in someone wouldn't you want to do something interesting with that person?

With coffee all you can do is talk, what if conversation isnt that guy/girl's strong area.

To me it kinda comes off as im only here because its convenient to me not becuase i really wanna spend time/see you.

Do ya see where im coming from a little?

 

A little, but I don't think any first dates should be too full on... they should be casual IMO.

 

I think most people value good conversation skills with a person they are going to date, be in a relationship so i wouldn't want to date anyone who can't hold a conversation... then at least I'd find out and could move on to someone who can hold a conversation.

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Ive noticed here alot of people suggest coffee for a first date. I dont know if its an age gap thing, but im 20 and if i asked a girl out for coffee i would probably be get this which would be followed by ](*,).

And what if you dont like coffee?

It seems that the standard of watching a movie is a bad idea from what i read on this forum.

What are some of the things some of you all do for first dates. besides "coffee".

For example i took a girl to an NBA game, only cost about 10 bucks and we had a good time.

Just curious.

 

They have smoothies at starbucks now.... hahaha

 

honestly, I wouldn't see anything wrong with being asked out for coffee.

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Going in with that mentality almost seems "too" casual.

I mean if you interested in someone wouldn't you want to do something interesting with that person?

With coffee all you can do is talk, what if conversation isnt that guy/girl's strong area.

To me it kinda comes off as im only here because its convenient to me not becuase i really wanna spend time/see you.

Do ya see where im coming from a little?

 

Then I think they need to get better at conversation because that's an important part of a relationship.

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i use "go for coffee" as an example. and choose something equavalant.

you can easily go for smoothies instead or better yet... ice cream. it's a good way to just sit and talk while eatig something small..

 

 

I did the whole "movies' date thing with my current bf. first date wasnt anything special Lol. but we're still together a yr later.

we basically went to go see the movie and ended up quiet all night, shy to look at each other for long. and then after the movie, we still hadnt really gotten to know each other well so we parted ways.

luckily.. he texted me a half hour later asking if i wanted to go hang out at the park. turned the whole night around 1:

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A little, but I don't think any first dates should be too full on... they should be casual IMO.

 

I think most people value good conversation skills with a person they are going to date, be in a relationship so i wouldn't want to date anyone who can't hold a conversation... then at least I'd find out and could move on to someone who can hold a conversation.

 

Yeah you have a point. So would you say its more of a age/maturity thing? Because i just dont know anyone around my age thats even mentioned let alone go on a coffee date.

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Yeah you have a point. So would you say its more of a age/maturity thing? Because i just dont know anyone around my age thats even mentioned let alone go on a coffee date.

 

 

Hmnn.. I see a lot of high school age or university age students at coffee shops... maybe its just your crowd?

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They have smoothies at starbucks now.... hahaha

 

honestly, I wouldn't see anything wrong with being asked out for coffee.

 

Smoothies/ice cream i can understand because thoese are happy foods, if that makes any sense.lol

Coffee just seems so serious, almost like an interview.

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Smoothies/ice cream i can understand because thoese are happy foods, if that makes any sense.lol

Coffee just seems so serious, almost like an interview.

 

Like I said, it must be your crowd, or maybe where you live? In most cities, there are some very cool funky coffee places, which I see filled with younger people too, like age 17-21. Maybe you just live in a place with crap coffee places?

 

I would never want to go on a date to a 'Booster juice' unless i was 11 years old.... flourescent lights, 12 year olds working there.

 

With coffee shops you often have big comfy couches, good music, cakes, pies etc... much more date friendly than an icecream place.

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Smoothies/ice cream i can understand because thoese are happy foods, if that makes any sense.lol

Coffee just seems so serious, almost like an interview.

 

i dunno about it being serious. i just dont drink the stuff haha. but i have been to places where "going for coffee at starbucks" was a big thing and something people seem to realllly enjoy. mostly in cooler places where it's a treat and it warms u up too.. i can see myself asking a guy to coffee in these places

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