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Help with the ex-girlfriend please


janis

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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now, we're living together and serious about each other. In the beginning of our relationship he told me that he still loved his ex-girlfriend, not in a romantic way, more like a sister. They dated for two years in an on/off sort of thing. He's still friends with her, and they talk. They talk about me, and how I'm bothered with him talking to her! This really bothers me. As far as I'm concerned its like he is still involved with her on an emotional level. My boyfriend and I have talked about this a lot, and we've started fighting about it a lot in the past few weeks. He's not willing to cut off the ties with her and I'm not willing to just roll over and deal with it. I've never even been introduced to this girl (his sister is best friends with her so we've been in the same house and social events a few times), and she completely ignores me. Not even so much as eye contact. Am I over reacting, or do I have a legit problem? I've come here because I don't feel like my boyfriend or friends really have the most objective and unbiased opinions. There is more that I could go into but I think that this is enough, for now. Please let me know what you think!

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I've never even been introduced to this girl (his sister is best friends with her so we've been in the same house and social events a few times), and she completely ignores me. Not even so much as eye contact.

 

Have you gone over and introduced yourself to her?

 

I don't see a problem with someone being friends with an ex, but I don't think that he should be keeping her separate from you. You should know each others' friends, male or female, exes or not.

 

I say get to know her. Maybe you will like her.

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He & his ex should not be having a conversation about you... about how you don't like them talking. How often do they talk? Weekly would bother me. Once a month or so... probably not as much. Does he talk to her right in front of you? Or does he try to talk when you're not around?

 

I don't see how ex's can be really good friends with nothing more. I'm not saying he's cheating, but really, if they are good friends I don't see how it would be possible for neither of them to have any sort of feelings for each other.

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Since it's causing problems in your relationship, he should have enough respect for you to end the contact with her.

 

If he's truly committed to you, he should have no problem doing this.

 

Have you gone over and introduced yourself to her?

 

I don't see a problem with someone being friends with an ex, but I don't think that he should be keeping her separate from you. You should know each others' friends, male or female, exes or not.

 

I say get to know her. Maybe you will like her.

 

 

I agree with both these posters...True friends don't cause problems in their "friends" relationships...Try saying hello to her, you may like each other...but at the same time...he should not be seeing her without you there...its a matter of respect and boundaries..

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