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How long would a girl wait to call a guy after a first date?


RaceTheDream

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I had a date with a girl recently. We initially scheduled it for a Sunday but she canceled last minute and then called me two days later to reschedule. The following Thursday we watched movies at her place and drank wine. I had a nice time and she told me we should do it again, then she said she'd call me after the weekend because she already had plans for that weekend. I didn't ask her if she wanted to do it again, she volunteered to call me again all on her own. I happened to see her that weekend while out with my friends but we didn't get very much time to talk. When she left the bar she told me again that she'd call me later.

 

Well it's Wednesday night and I still haven't heard a thing from her. It's been 6 days since our date and 4 days since I last saw her. Is she just not interested anymore?

 

It's confusing to me because I've known her for over a year and the whole time she's made it clear that she likes me, she even confessed it to me at one point. The only reason I didn't pursue her back then was because I was dating someone else. On the night I asked her out for the first date, it was obvious we both liked each other. That was only 1 1/2 weeks ago. I can't imagine she's going to blow me off like that because we're in the same circle of friends and it would make things awkward. I tried to keep this short so if there's any more info I should share let me know, your advice is appreciated

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She might be busy, you never know. Does she go to school? Homework. Jobs... family.. even friends... I don't think the isn't interested anymore, I think something else that's important came up that she has to deal with. Be patient, she'll call you.

 

She has a busy job. She gets off work a couple hours after I do. That was the reason she canceled the first date initially, because she had to get up super early for work the next day. I just don't see how she can be so busy that she can't make a simple phone call to set up another date.

 

Why can't you take the initiative to call her? Usually its the other way around (the girl waiting for the guy to call.)

 

I definitely would have called her by now but she told me twice that she'd call me so I thought I'd respect that. If she hadn't offered to call me in the first place then I would have called her myself last Monday.

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She might be doing the same thing and playing one of these dating games wondering if she should just wait for you to call her.

 

I'd say go ahead and call her and just keep it light. If the convo doesn't go well, then you know where you stand at least.

 

Generally men and women who are very interested in someone go ahead and WANT to make contact sooner rather than later, except when they play these crazy 'when should i call or who should call first" guessing games. Just call her and go from there. Maybe she truly forgot that the ball was in her court and she is patiently waitng YOUR call and thinking if you really liked her you would reach out. On the offchance this is the case, just call alraedy.

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Thanks everyone. I'll give her a call tomorrow afternoon too see how she's doing and if she still wants to hang out sometime soon. I'm just really hoping she's not playing games like JadedStar mentioned. I don't know if I'd want to date someone who's into that. I much prefer more straightforward people.

 

Edit: Does anyone have any advice on how I can ask her if she wants to hang out again without putting her in the awkward position of having to flat out reject me in case she isn't interested. I'm afraid if I ask her out for another date she might agree to avoid confrontation. I want to give her the option of turning me down without having to explicetely say so. I don't want her to give me falst hope and be waiting around for her to call when she really won't.

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Thanks everyone. I'll give her a call tomorrow afternoon too see how she's doing and if she still wants to hang out sometime soon. I'm just really hoping she's not playing games like JadedStar mentioned. I don't know if I'd want to date someone who's into that. I much prefer more straightforward people.

 

Edit: Does anyone have any advice on how I can ask her if she wants to hang out again without putting her in the awkward position of having to flat out reject me in case she isn't interested. I'm afraid if I ask her out for another date she might agree to avoid confrontation. I want to give her the option of turning me down without having to explicetely say so. I don't want her to give me falst hope and be waiting around for her to call when she really won't.

 

When you call just say hey, how are you? and start a friendly chat with that. If she doesn't say anything first then I would say "I haven't heard from you and got to thinking today if you still wanted to get together sometime?" or something along the lines of that. She should be honest with you.

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Well I called her tonight and she said she was busy this weekend but that we could do something next week because she didn't have much going on aside from Wednesday. I told her any night but Monday would work so she said she would call me and we could see each other Tuesday or Thursday.

 

I'm still not getting a great vibe though. Before she would pay so much attention to me when we saw each other and I had a great feeling about how things were going. I mean it was so completely obvious that she was interested. Now it feels more like I'm trying to set up a time to hang out with one of my buddies rather than and actual date.

 

I just don't know why she doesn't seem as eager to see me anymore. Was she planning on not calling me until next week? Wouldn't she be worried that I'd start questioning whether or not she was still interested in me? Because despite the fact that we made plans to see each other now, I'm still not that hopefull. It's not like we just met and are feeling each other out, there's been an attraction there for months, she and I both knew full well what was going on between us. Things were moving along so well before, now it seems to have grinded to a slow crawl.

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I would let it be - if she calls you to arrange something on Tuesday or Thursday, that's great, but don't do any more pursuing for now. You've shown plenty of interest (if not too much), it's her turn to reciprocate if she really wants a part of this.

 

If she doesn't call, move on, there are plenty of girls around

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