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Bad news I am back to day 1 of NC....


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Well here it goes. I went home after work to go pick up my son from his mother and my ex was waiting there with them in the parking lot. i am not happy because I know she came tonight because she knew my son would be there and I would have to be there. She asked me about a air mattress again. She has been calling for over a week about the air mattress that she needed for thankgiving, and if my son was exspecting a gift this year for christmas. I have been ignoring all of her attempt to contact me. I had dropped the air mattress off at her dads earlier today so I would not make contact. I was on day 12.

 

 

She asked why I did not call her to tell her and I told her that I did not want to talk to her, or to see her. That I had explained this 12 day's earlier very clearly. I also told her that it was for the both of us. I also explained that we can not be friends, but I don't know what the future holds? Then I wished her the best and said goodluck then I said goodbye. I was calm. I was nice and I felt normal and confident talking to her. It actually did not affect me that much.

 

She said "Don't flatter yourself." after I was done talking.

 

What was that all about?

 

So then I also asked her about taking her rabbit back after that and I told her I would drop it off just let me know when a good time would be. I figured this was a good time.

 

She said "I can't. I am never at my Dads and I hardly even live there anymore."

 

Why would she say that to me?

 

Is she trying to prove something to me or herself?

 

I know she is staying with the new guy she is with. I have already known and dealt with this emotionally it did not shock me.

 

I am just mad about her showing up at my house, and the fact that now I am on day one again. I guess this all was just about a silly air mattress.

 

What is it going to be next I wonder?

 

About every 5-6 day's she asks for something else that she thinks is hers. I just want her to leave my son and I alone.

 

This just proves that time and NC really does work. A month ago I would have been crushed. All I saw tonight was a selfish angry women, it was not the women I fell in love with that is for sure.

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At least you're starting to see the side of her that is REALLY her.

 

I think her comment was rude and she was just being nasty like she always is, the reason for it perhaps that u werent talking to her and answering her calls. Dont worry to much about her. She isnt worth the time of day.

 

In a way what she is doing is considered stalking, showing up at places she knows u will be at. Can u change the pick up place of your son?

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WOW Robert...she sounds extremely selfish and self centered. Especially the comment 'don't flatter yourself". How sad of her.

If I were you I would simply change my phone number and wash my hands of her completely. You already KNOW she will attempt to talk to you again, why give her the satisfaction of thinking she can??

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It's ok! Don't worry about jumping back to day 1. It's not like it hurt you or anything...

 

She's really immature. You don't have to change your number right away, but I suggest that the next time she texts/calls you, tell her straight-up, "Look, I don't wanna have anything to do with you, so I'm warning you now, stop contacting me or else I will change my number & if that doesn't work, I will get a restaining order against you."

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At least you're starting to see the side of her that is REALLY her.

 

I think her comment was rude and she was just being nasty like she always is, the reason for it perhaps that u werent talking to her and answering her calls. Dont worry to much about her. She isnt worth the time of day.

 

In a way what she is doing is considered stalking, showing up at places she knows u will be at. Can u change the pick up place of your son?

 

It is my home I am not going to avoid my home for her. If it keeps happening I will get a TRO.

 

Yeah she is always nasty now i wonder what is making her so mad? I have been nice to her for the past month.

 

Is that it she wants me to be mad also? That is just not worth it to me. I have been changing for the better since the break up I am never angry anymore unless it is about her. My son and I are getting along so much better than when she was there. She might have been the cause of some of my problems?

 

I wish she could here all of you on here. Then maybe she would take a long hard look in the mirror and realize what she has become.

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It's ok! Don't worry about jumping back to day 1. It's not like it hurt you or anything...

 

She's really immature. You don't have to change your number right away, but I suggest that the next time she texts/calls you, tell her straight-up, "Look, I don't wanna have anything to do with you, so I'm warning you now, stop contacting me or else I will change my number & if that doesn't work, I will get a restaining order against you."

 

You are right about immaturity. I just was blind to all of this BS when I was with her. I am not changing my number, but this is the second time she has shown up at my house unanounced.

 

I am not worried about day 1 it can possibly be the start of forever..lol

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You are right about immaturity. I just was blind to all of this BS when I was with her. I am not changing my number, but this is the second time she has shown up at my house unanounced.

 

I am not worried about day 1 it can possibly be the start of forever..lol

 

Now that's the attitude I wanna see!!

 

You seem like a very strong person, & I know you can do it.

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Now that's the attitude I wanna see!!

 

You seem like a very strong person, & I know you can do it.

 

 

Thank you. That is very nice of you to say that. I was always the strong one in the relationship also. I held it together propbably for to long.

 

Not right after the break I went all needy and begged for her back, but I am past that. It was just the the rejection I felt when she jumped into a new relationship in less than a week.

 

I initiated NC every time and she has broke it everytime by showing up at my house unanounced.

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Hey Robert

 

Well done mate for keeping your cool here. Unfortunately, dumpers often become nasty when they see that you are taking some control back in your life. She is almost trying to get a rise out of you but really not thinking things through. She asks for the rabbit back but then says she can't take it. I'll wager that if you had said she couldn't have the rabbit back she would have kicked up a fuss.

 

Hopefully she will soon get tired of this silly nonsense when she realises she doesn't affect you.

 

Good luck mate and keep strong.

 

Mark

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Robert,

 

Just want to say great job holding it together! Its great to see that NC can really help people heal and your proved that just now. Good job bud and dont worry about being back to day 1. It wasnt your choice. Start it up again and continue to keep healing and becoming stronger. I feel like I am heading in the right direction too as I feel alot better. Not sure if I am as far as you quite yet, but its nice to know the positives down the road with NC.

 

Cheers

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Hey Robert

 

Well done mate for keeping your cool here. Unfortunately, dumpers often become nasty when they see that you are taking some control back in your life. She is almost trying to get a rise out of you but really not thinking things through. She asks for the rabbit back but then says she can't take it. I'll wager that if you had said she couldn't have the rabbit back she would have kicked up a fuss.

 

Hopefully she will soon get tired of this silly nonsense when she realises she doesn't affect you.

 

Good luck mate and keep strong.

 

Mark

 

Thanks.

 

I never thought of that. You are right on the money with that one she would have been pissed if I said that she could not have it back..lol

 

But I couldn't say that. That is not who I am. I will kill her with kindness that is how I maintain my integrity, and my dignity.

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Robert,

 

Just want to say great job holding it together! Its great to see that NC can really help people heal and your proved that just now. Good job bud and dont worry about being back to day 1. It wasnt your choice. Start it up again and continue to keep healing and becoming stronger. I feel like I am heading in the right direction too as I feel alot better. Not sure if I am as far as you quite yet, but its nice to know the positives down the road with NC.

 

Cheers

 

The reason I think I am doing so well with this is because of 3 reasons.

 

1.) I realized that begging, crying, and apearing very needy was not helping me heal a few weeks after the breakup. Hence NC.

 

2.) I have already seen her with her new boyfriend on several ocasions. I have even talked to him two times. He is just as needy as she is. He almost started crying about his ex to me. I was not impressed. One time I regret because well I had one to many and I made him cower like a scared dog. That was the booze that wasn't me. That is the only interaction I want to take back. I stay out of those situations now. I have been able to deal with the jealousy, anger, and rejection in a contructive way while maintaining my dignity in all but one occasion witch I mentioned.

 

3.) Her actions in the past couple of weeks have helped me see exactly who she is. What kind of person she is. She is imature. She is very needy. She is also very angry, and mean. On one ocasion a little CRAZY!

 

I know I am not completely over her but I am well on my way. Stay strong because it does get easier every day.

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She sent me another text message today it said " Sorry to bother you but I did not see the charger." I responded about an hour later because this is the first time since the breakup she has been somewhat nice. I said in my text "It's okay. Sorry I did not respond sooner I was busy. i looked for the charger and did not find it. I remember it being in your dads garage. I will drop it off if I do find it. Have a nice day."

 

She sent a text back imediatly after. This one said " I think it is in your car. My brothers apartment is really small. One of his friends does not have any family, so we are inviting her over for thanksgiving."

 

What? Why would she open up about this to me? Why do I care what the charger is for? It is none of my business.

 

I sent one more text a half hour later that said " I will look in my car. If i find it I will drop it of at your dads house within a day or two. If it is not there in a day or two I could not find it. That is real nice of your brother and your family to invite his friend for thanksgiving. You are good people. I need a break from you and you also need a break from me. I have mentioned this before. Have a nice day and happy thanksgiving."

 

She sent me another message a few minutes later that said "Please don't drop off the rabbit."...lol

 

I already told her I wouldn't. So back on day 1 with dignity and compassion. I am not responding to the rabbit text message.

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Good choice! There is nothing amusing about this situation.

 

 

You are right there is nothing amusing about this at all. I am being hurt over and over again by my ex. I ask for space and for her not to contact me. She just never leaves me alone for more than a week.

 

I was doing fine before this whole thing I was on day 12 of NC and starting to feel better about myself. Then this whole ordeal went down and a day later I feel pretty low.

 

Yesterday i was feeling in control. Now i feel like she is in control because she does still affect me emotionally even though I don't let her know or see that.

 

I was strong yesterday but now I am feeling weak. Hopefully a good workout will bring back up.

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