Having a bad day. Venting here.

[pace of ace]

Hey everyone, i need to vent (again) so where better to do it than enotalone. Where would i be without it!

 

I'm on day 6 of nc, and this is usually the time i break it and call her!! I'm so rubbish at creating distance. But if i mean as much to her as she says i do then i guess she'll contact again some time. I guess sometimes i just feel it's always me ya know. I've had such a crappy morning and I'm seriously trying not to pick my phone up ](*,)

 

Mornings are sooooo tough!!

 

I've vowed to stop chasing her and get on with my own life and if she wants to contact me then she can. So i guess not strictly nc but it's nc on my part in terms of not making contact. It's usually me who initiates contact and it's got me nowhere. Certaintly haven't got her back and certaintly not healing well enough. (It's been 9 months)

 

I just feel i need to write this down now to resist temptation to call or text. Keeps my hands busy! I'm sure plenty are feeling the same way right now so feel free to post and we can feel frustrated/annoyed together!

[Clabs]

Hi Pace

 

Good for you for coming on here instead of contacting your ex. As you identify, it never gets you anywhere except sets you back and who needs all this crap in their lives anyway?

 

You hold the key to the healing car - now for goodness sake, get in and drive the darn thing!

 

Take care mate.

 

Mark

[pace of ace]

 

 

Excellent chat Mark, I guess, this is what this site is for, instead of picking up the phone, get on the keyborad and type until the urge subsides!!

 

I have to make myself do this, i just have to now. I need to prove to myself i'm strong enough.

[jpearl]

Keep up the good work Pace! When I start thinking of my ex, I try to get online and come here, or force myself to look up something for myself, a new workout I want to try, or a place I really want to visit or looking at clothes or shoes, I don't buy anything, but it gives me motivation and inspiration and keeps me from dwelling on them and focused on the most important person in my life, ME!

[pace of ace]

thanks jpearl.

 

the urge is subsiding slightly as i know i have nothing to gain from it. She knows where i am if she wants to reach out right. are you in lc? nc?

[penelope13]

cheeze, doesn't this sound familiar ;-)? I've fallen for a friend who is in a bad relationship. Since I discovered my feelings for him I told him that I couldn't be friends or anything else with him till he was sure what the status of his relationship is. - That was 3 weeks ago. Since then I am trying not to think of him and not to pick up the phone. Instead of working I am staring at my screen and trying at least something productive by posting on ENA

[jpearl]

I am in LC, I answer when he calls, but I don't call him, EVER. And don't think I don't have the urge, but if I start thinking about him for awhile, I literally tell my brain, okay stop, lets think of something else, and I call a friend, get online, or take my dogs for a walk, or anything that just alters what I would call almost obsessive thinking about him. It has actually boosted my confidence, knowing that I have the power to control myself from calling him and has helped my healing alot.

[pace of ace]

I am in LC, I answer when he calls, but I don't call him, EVER. And don't think I don't have the urge, but if I start thinking about him for awhile, I literally tell my brain, okay stop, lets think of something else, and I call a friend, get online, or take my dogs for a walk, or anything that just alters what I would call almost obsessive thinking about him. It has actually boosted my confidence, knowing that I have the power to control myself from calling him and has helped my healing alot.

 

That's a really great insight jpearl, that's exactly what i try and do

 

Unfortunately i slipped up. I just called her ](*,)

 

I'm so annoyed at myself. I don't feel worse for calling as i'm not with her, i'm bloody annoyed and disappointed with myself for doing it!!! Aaaaaaargggh!! Why must i be so weak!!

 

Day 1 starts again tomorrow.