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Sometimes I wonder. Not the ‘what if’ type but the ‘why’. It’s just so confusing to know that I didn’t completely felt this way when we were together. I know I always loved her, but not to the greatest extent. Not on my full potential. I always knew it was there but something held me back. Fear? Maybe. Probably.

 

I remember people saying you never know what you have until it is gone. I feel that way. Guilt is so destructive. I’ve learned so much from this breakup and my relationship. I know things about myself that I didn’t. I wish I could show her. New feelings and ideas of what a good relationship is appear. It doesn’t feel right that the next person is going to have the best of me and not her, when she was the one that made me want to be better.

 

It has been 2 months and it is yesterday.

 

I know I can move on. I will move on. I don’t want to move on.

 

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Thank you everyone for your posts, it helps mucho mucho...

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I have trouble understanding why this happens. I have had at least two of my exes come back and say the same thing to me and I wondered what made the difference and why it couldnt be realized while we were together. Is there something that stood in the way of that. I really want to understand.

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I have no idea why this happens. I think I was just too comfortable. I thought she was happy with what she was getting. She doesn't say much about her feelings, just like me. Coming here and express myself is a big step for me. I've been hiding for too long.

 

I'll never make the mistake of not letting go. Of holding back my feelings out of fear of getting hurt, burned. It really doesn't matter. Its better to know that you gave yourself completely than to regret not to.

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I hear ya bud. I took alot for granted. I will never make that mistake again. It is true you really do not know what you have until it is gone. Then it hurts like nothing has ever hurt you before (unbearable)once it is gone and you have no control of getting it back. I bet next time we will not take love for granted I sure will not. Now it is time to move on.

 

Learn from it it is powerfull.

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C'est La Vie...

 

You will meet someone out there that's different and will appreciate that you've grown in that way. If someone else can't appreciate you for that, thank them for helping you improve yourself (doesn't even have to be in person), then do your best to work through the day.

 

One day you will wake up and it won't hurt anymore. I can't say when that day is, but it will happen...

 

Best of luck to you.

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