Jump to content

Recommended Posts

12-days ago my boyfriend and I broke up. I was very very hurt, but I knew it would just take time to get over him. I know it is better this way, because he had made it a point to tell me that “ He is hard to figure out” I think there is a heavier issue underlying that fact, but we weren’t together long enough for me to get to know him better. I think getting to know someone should be fun and exciting, but telling someone they are hard to figure out, sounds like a headache and emotionally difficult. And he wonders why I assumed the worst?? Anyways, I thought by now, I would at least be feeling somewhat better, but I still have a lot of moments of sadness that are just there still. How the heck do I make the sadness go away? It seems endless. Guys handle it different; they get bitter, but girls get sad. I don’t think its fair that he gets to be bitter during the breakup but all I have is sadness! The other thing is, his divorce was just final in the spring so I know (even though he didn’t say so) that he wasn’t ready for a committed relationship yet. I read somewhere the signs if a guy is commitment phobic, and he had some of them (not all) But he did want a lot of space, revealed too little about himself, worked long hours, and it did say they like the LDR so that they don’t have to worry about having to spend too much time with a gf. It makes total sense because of the control thing. Like he would control how much we talked on the phone, and I think if we would have talked at least every other day, that things would have turned out better. So I think for the future, he is going to have to be willing to change that. He did tell me from the beginning that he is set in his ways, but I didn’t know he meant to that extreme.

 

He just didn’t know how to act in a relationship. Communication is the key, and he had a big lack of that. You cannot do most of the communicating by text messages and emails. A lot of things can be taken the wrong way. I can see now why our relationship ended so abruptly. He is afraid of committing and I was pushing him a little. But you cannot start talking about relocating, marriage and all that and expect a female to take it lightly!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think break-ups are so hard to go through. It hasn't been very long since you guys broke up so I can see why you would still be sad. Maybe what you should do is make a list of reasons why the break up is good for you. Like..

 

1- I don't have to deal with his ex-wife

2- I now have the opportunity to meet someone who is not "hard to get to know"

3- No more emotional drama from dating him

4- Opportunity to date someone in the future who communicates with me

 

You get the idea. I'm not saying to never date someone who is divorced, but statistically, a marriage has a much smaller chance of success if one of the persons has already been divorced. It's a sign that they don't know how to handle a relationship appropriately or have some pre-existing problem.

 

I am serious about making a list of good things that come of this. At least its a break up now & not a divorce from him a year from now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Alli,

Yes, those things are true. A relationship should be fun, not all drama. He was the one telling me to be myself, then when I really was he got all cold! I guess I just want him to see what he lost. But I know its too soon for that. He really built himself up to be some hot shot and in reality, he wasnt. He talks a better game than he walks. Guys who have to make themself look good have another issue, like they have to win you over or something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...