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Afraid To Start NC


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I'm afraid I won't be much help with the ''how did you start'' query, as NC was kinda a kneejerk reaction from me since the moment (literally) we broke up. So I was cold turkey from the beginning!

 

Once you get into it though, you'll be surprised at how liberated you feel. It'll be tough, yes, and there will be days when you feel like breaking it, and maybe there will even be days when you DO break it. But try not to, it makes getting over someone so much easier.

 

The only flipside of NC is that, because of the complete lack of contact/updates about them, if you hear something about them unintentionally, it can have a MASSIVE negative effect on you because you're not prepared for it and even the tiniest updates can seem massive because you were unaware all the time due to NC. I'm in this position right now.

 

That said, however, this tiny lil disadvantage is nothing compared to the peace of mind, clarity, liberation, relaxation, etc that NC brings. It's a really nice place to be. Give it a try, and I wish you luck

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I just started NC today also. Here is what I plan to do and maybe you can find this advice helpful. Make yourself as busy as possible! Enjoy a hobby(new or old), go to the gym, call a friend, read a good book,etc...anything to get your mind off of it!! You could also see a counselor, that might help the healing process. Also whenever you get the urge to contact you could write on here, write to me or anyone!

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Im finding NC really hard to do too. Im currently going LC, ive been texting him maybe once per day since Friday and alot of the time he has text back.

 

Like TBE_1989 said before me if you hear the littlest thing with NC it will be have negative effect on you. My boyfriend said he wants a break and he'd see me this Friday, i heard off my Mum's boyfriend that he is having his car serviced on Friday so i dont know whats going on now and i dont want to ask him incase he says he isnt seeing me anymore.

 

x

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Just be honest with your reasoning and tell your ex. For example "I need time away from you, and you also need time away from me. So I do not want to have any contact with you. This is for both of us. I wish you the best and send you with all of my love."

 

Make sure you say it is for the both of us. End it with kindness.

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You start by realizing there is nothing you can do to control or have the other person come back to you.

 

You realize that this is unhealthy and causing you so much pain.

 

You need to move on.

 

You figure out NC is the best way. No new information = no new hurt.

 

You cut ties with them. Deal with your pain and improve yourself.

 

Closure comes from within you.

 

If you need any answers, let yourself know it's over and that's the only answer you need.

 

Reflect upon your end of the relationship and figure out what you like.

 

Also be honest about what you did to contribute to it's demise. Things you could have done better. Etc.

 

Ultimately, to start NC. You just do it. You do it for you. To be okay, to get through this.

 

Not as a tool to manipulate your ex back. Do not worry about any consequences. As soon as somebody doesn't commit to you. You are no longer obligated to care about how they feel or what they do.

 

NC is a time for you.

 

Good luck!

 

Do your best to not break NC. Or you start from day 1. Starting from day 1 = heart broken all over again.

 

You will not hear what you want to hear. You will not get what you want.

 

It's best to let it go now and start healing!

 

Of course there will be times you will break. Maybe not a call, maybe not a text, maybe just cyber stalking. Keep in mind that this will only delay your healing and hurt you. What if your ex is talking to somebody new. Changes a new picture. Does this, does that.

 

None of it matters. Time to let go and move on.

 

Easy? NOPE! This will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life. To let go the ones you love.

 

Be strong!

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keep busy. be strong. take up a few hobbies. if you were doing something before, start it again. if you feel you are getting lonely, call up a few friends and talk to them about anything other than the break up. get with them if possible for coffee/ice cream. read about things you have limited knowledge of (that does not mean you go out and buy self help books on relationships). next time you start talking to someone, you can talk about everything from T S Elliot's poetry to the current state of the economy to what are the potential reasons Oakland Raiders are horrible this year.

 

there, a few tips based on what i do. hope you can find something that works for you.

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what are the potential reasons Oakland Raiders are horrible this year.

 

You follow that horrible excuse of a team too, huh? Hah

 

Abby, I was kind of forced into NC. I still had a choice, but what she did hurt too much for me to try to fix things I guess--no matter how ridiculous people claim how I feel about it is I left it alone. Didn't write the emails, didn't keep in touch with her whatsoever.

 

Just start. As everyone else has said, stay busy. When I felt myself getting weak, I'd immediately start doing something time consuming. When that didn't work I'd remind myself why not talking to her is best for me.

 

Good luck, stay strong..for yourself.

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I think to start nc you need to get into the mindset that you are going to do it!! There comes a time when you can't deal with the drama of the ex anymore, you want to make yourself feel better thereforee for me nc as been the only option. No one who's going through nc says it's easy as at times it can be damn hard, the secret is just to keep on going.

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It's hard for me to stay busy, but I'm trying. I don't have RL friends/a car so most of my time is spent at home. I think that's what made NC so hard the first time - I didn't have much else to focus on so I thought about him.

 

if you are staying home all the time. come here. The people here are a cool lot.

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How did you start? I know I need to, but it's hard. I tried it before and failed, and since then I've just been afraid to do it again.

 

He annoyed me with the way he did and said things to me and one day he rang and abused me one to many times about something i didnt actually do. I had enough of it and thought "Im worth more than this, this is where it ends and i told him to never contact me again and that was the end of us and everything we had and were"

 

At the time i dont think i realised the power or strength in my words and 58 days later, i am still on NC.

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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