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Ex called this morning


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Well i knew it was coming. Today is my birthday so i expected she would call. At 8:15 this morning my phone rang. I didn't want to answer because i had been in NC for over a week now. It has been over 7 months since we split but had been in contact the whole time. Then the guy she is dating now, broke up with her about a month ago so we started hanging out again until he found out and wanted her back. She debated and finally went back to him. So i decided to go NC because I was tired of all the BS she was putting me through. Anyways i was angry with her but i din't want to be an a-hole so i answered and we talked for about 5 minutes. Anyways what makes the situation worse is the guy she is dating now, his birthday is today too so i know she is spending it with him i guess i don't need any advice but more or less to get it off my chest.

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Is she the type that hasn't been single for more than 10 seconds since she turned 15? I guess that's why she's trying to keep the connection with you, so if things don't work out with him, she can go back to you.

 

I've found these types are inherently unfaithful because they cheat to secure the next guy, then get rid of the old guy.

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Yeah i don't want someone like her. Its just hard when you care about someone so much.

 

I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm the same way with my ex, but I know it would be impossible to have a serious relationship with her because she is disloyal and cannot make a commitment

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First of all, happy birthday.

 

Second, please NEVER answer this girl's phone calls again. NOTHING good could possibly come from it. She's young, dumb, immature, and a constant source of misery. I can't imagine what you could possibly see in this girl. I HATE her.

 

One year older, one year wiser. Please don't repeat the mistakes of the past.

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I wonder if it would have been harder if she didn't call? I'm sorry that your day will not be what you would really want it to be.... How long did you go without talking with her before today? You'll get there.... Sometimes it takes months. Sometimes it takes being hurt and disrespected over and over for those of us that can't help but give the benefit of the doubt. Just know that there are many other opportunities out there for you. A life to live and enjoy.... I hope you are doing that!

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Well last monday I got a text from her saying that she had a dream about me and had been thinking about me all day. She then called me the next day which i answered and we talked for about 10 minutes. didn't hear from her until last night when she called me twice. I didn't call her back but figured i would talk to her today since she did call me on my birthday. I figured it was the polite thing to do.

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Or something like that.... lol

 

I admit - If I were in your specific situation, I'd have answered a phonecall on my birthday. lol Wait - I have done that summer of 07.

 

You know the drill. Just be careful. If she comes around again, make her work for your energy and time and to be a priority in your life. If she doesn't, then you don't make any effort, right?

 

Actually rtoycrow.... I have an ex (the one mentioned from summer 07) that still continues to call me out of the blue and a bunch and then we'll set things straight that he needs to stop calling... He stops.. . then he starts it over. Nothing EVER changes. If anything, it's only worse as the time passes and each of us live our lives without any thoughts on how it will affect the other. You know?

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Yeah that sounds like her. When i found out they were together again i told her i wasn't being friends and if she never felt she made a mistake then we would never talk again. I made it clear to her that the only thing i would except from her is when she showed me in person she wanted me and only me. Two days later she calls. I ignore. Then two days later she texts and said i really need to talk to you and i tell her i can't be friends and she says she understands but she wants to trade leashes with me for her dog and i say ok i will leave it on the door for you and she insist that i be there. So i go to meet her and we end up arguing because she brings up her BF which pisses me off so i say things i don't mean and later end up apologizing. We work things out and i don't here from her til a week later when she sends me the text about that dream and then she calls me the next day which i answer (don't know why i did but i did) and then a week later she calls which i ignore and today which was my birthday. I am really trying hard to ignore her which is hard but i think i am getting better at it. I know i can do just fine without her but its just sitting in the back of my head all those things she said to me about being her soulmate and other crap which obviously wasn't true. It just sucks when u think you've found that certain someone and would do anything in the world for them and that isn't enough.

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Everything you said. I couldn't have said it better. The on off / on off / on off.... my ex does that. Contacts me. I ignore him and ignore him but then I give in. Becomes clear that he still is wishy washy about what he wants.

 

From April until August, I refused to talk to him at all.. It was such a carefree, enjoyable time. And then I thought that I could handle being friends with him. Sigh... I think sometimes we just need to love ourself first.

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Never, EVER, be someone's doormat or backburner....and never, EVER, make someone a priority if they make you an option. Move forward dude....yep it's time. Luck!

 

That's the best bit of advice I've read on here. If you are on someone's back burner, it means they don't respect you. They think you can't do any better, and thus, if your prime target fails, you'll go back to the fallback position, the person you think can't do better. They don't respect you for that reason.

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