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Update on "I just want to scream and cry"


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I was admitted to a mental health clinic yesterday morning. I spoke to 2 nurses for 45 minutes about what has been going on with me lately, how I have been depressed but feel there is nothing significant to be depressed about. They came to the conclusion that I have a lot going on in my life and that I have coped very well so far with it. They want me to do more of the things I love, that make me happy. And they gave me a website to work through, to do with cognitive therapy. It's http://www.livinglifetothefull.co.uk if you are interested.


The thing is I feel really guilty now. I have a thing about feeling guilty needlessly. It was just when I saw the doctor's face when I told him I had tried to strangle myself last the other night and that I was making provisions to my boyfriend about my death. The doctor just looked so concerned and worried, I feel so bad. I don't like to worry people. A few people at work know and have chatted to me about it. I see the school doctor, so people at work were likely to hear about it. I told my boss and she talked to her boss about it. I think she is worried about me. I hate to feel that I am putting people through hell with my feeling like I wanted to end it.


Today hasn't been too bad so far, I was listening to some upbeat music on the bus to keep me in better spirits. One of my gerbils died last night but I'm handling it surprisingly well.


Thanks to all who replied to my previous thread x

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