How can I save my marriage?

[lostone8]

Ok here goes;

I worked with a young woman who I liked alot she is 25 raising 2 children on her own. Well last Dec. my company let all the temps go the week before Christmas. She was counting on that check for Santa. I raffled off a wreath along with a friend we made $160. took nothing out for materials and gave that to her. OK don't say stupid I do that myself my husband of 27 years was killing himself at work with no secretary so DUMB I asked if he could give her a part time job around her school hours.

 

Alls ok I invite her to let the kids come swim then suddenly she is here every weekend, all other friends stop coming over but say nothing, just busy.

 

The weekend of July 11 my niece is copying blue tooth from his phone and sees a text miss you counting minutes blah blah love -- he texts back me too love you

 

Now he cries swears they are platonic (I am trying to believe it since at 50 he ain't springy) and says he feels sorry for her and sees how he had no father so that is all he is doing is helping out.

 

Says there is a black hole he needs time to himself to find out his feelings.

If he would be honest instead of sneaking off I might could work on a relationship, I deeply love this man and have since the day we met 30 years ago.

 

 

She was always saying how her 35 year old professor was so fine but too old Hello my husband is 25 years older than her!

 

She was born 4 years after we married.

 

No we have no children so I guess he goes off to play Daddy I helped clean the truck yesterday and asked him to put a towel under the damn car seats so they don't tear the leather you would think she could at least wipe the tiny finger prints and shoe marks off my truck!

 

They say its not an affair if you dont sleep together I say BS and told her to her face what I thought and that he lied when he said we had been having problems for 3 years she worked with me and knows he gave me a $4000 aniversary ring last year does that sound like a problem?

 

I am trying to give this thing a break this week we can't afford for him to have a separate place, I want to keep my house, don't want a divorce just want her to go AWAY or off to a man her age.

 

Does this sound pitiful or what. Before this summer when people met us they thought we had just married how can life turn so bad so fast?

[Seraphim]

I hear your pain and anger unfortunately HE is the one that has to tell her to get lost. When my husband cheated on me I told him to decide THAT minute ME or her. She was gone from that minute on.

[thejigsup]

If he doesn't want her to go and she doesn't want to go, you will have no say in the matter, she will be staying. At that point you have to make up your mind if you want to go, then follow through.