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Do friends and money ever mix?


britters

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I have two best friends. One I've known since 5th grade (I'm 20)..we'll call her Peggy and the other I met my freshman year of college (I'm a junior now)..we'll call her Donna.

 

Peggy is the epitome of best friends. Always there for me...always laughing with me...just an amazing great beautiful girl. Even when other girls would talk about my crazy antics in high school she would defend me...Even when I was down on myself & feeling * * * * ty she would ask me if i was crazy & remind me how amazing I am. We had our arguments, but the next day we'd make the same joke -"you're not invited to my birthday party!"- & laugh it off. Now i know a friend like this is rare...but i guess I can't help comparing them all to her in some way or another. She's my perfect friend fit. & it's important to add...In high school, living with my parents, I always had money..she didn't, but neither of us ever noticed. Now, in college we're both broke & our friendship remains the same.

 

Donna is the epitome of the Laguna Beach/The Hills friendship. She is a year younger than everyone at 19...drives a brand new Toyota Avalon...wears Louis Vuitton purses and doesn't lift a finger. She's completely clueless as far as life goes. Now, she is a caring and giving person. She has footed the bill for my broke ass plenty of times and is there when I need a shoulder to cry on as long as it doesn't interfere with her many daytime naps. Problem is: she lies to me for random things, she talks about my private biz openly (for some odd reason none of the guys she's dated have ever liked me), and there is that social disloyalty, where she will appeal to whomever she's talking to..so if she's talking to someone who doesn't like me...she will assist them in chiding me.

 

Here is where my issue begins. I've been drinking, partying, smoking, and running around scantily clad every weekend & i'm over it. I need to pay off my debts, get my grades up, and stay at one damn job. But Donna is happy in her bubble of cluelessness because she has no reason to achieve goals: the money is growing off her daddy tree. I'm not so lucky at this point. I broke things off with her & she feels like i'm nitpicking her bad ways & dumping her because of money differences. I don't care that she has money but i recognize that the money contributes to her being my downfall because of her lazy, unearning ways.

 

I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR DUMPING MY FRIEND, BUT I FEEL IT'S SO NECESSARY!! AM I WRONG ABOUT THE MONEY THING? SHOULD IT MATTER?

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Are you dumping her because she has money and you don't? Sounds to me like you should be dumping her because she's not a good friend and can't keep her mouth shut.

 

Friends should have similar goals and outlooks on life. Your goal right now is to get yourself together and stop partying. Hers is not. Life is one big party for her with daddy footing the bill.

 

I say you were right to dump her as a friend, but because she's dragging you down and talks bad behind your back, not because she has money.

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Forget the money aspect...this part here

 

"Problem is: she lies to me for random things, she talks about my private biz openly (for some odd reason none of the guys she's dated have ever liked me), and there is that social disloyalty, where she will appeal to whomever she's talking to..so if she's talking to someone who doesn't like me...she will assist them in chiding me"

 

 

is more than enough reason to leave this friendship behind!!

 

 

But my question to you is...Did you dump her because of the money factor or did you dump her because she wasn't a good friend to you??

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Forget the money aspect...this part here

 

"Problem is: she lies to me for random things, she talks about my private biz openly (for some odd reason none of the guys she's dated have ever liked me), and there is that social disloyalty, where she will appeal to whomever she's talking to..so if she's talking to someone who doesn't like me...she will assist them in chiding me"

 

 

is more than enough reason to leave this friendship behind!!

 

 

But my question to you is...Did you dump her because of the money factor or did you dump her because she wasn't a good friend to you??

 

Both. I feel that the money factor is WHY she is lazy and unmotivated to do anything positive. Plus she clearly has bad friendship traits. I was lazy in high school because my dad paid for everything..but being independent has made me realize nothing is going to come to me unless I go get it. She has admitted that she is used to people working things out for her. I feel that's only because of money being no issue for her.

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It is annoying when you have to work hard to get the little bit you have & see other people whom it seems don't have to work a bit & have everything they want & then some. But are you sure she really doesn't do a thing? You haven't known her that long. She has never worked or volunteered? Maybe she doesn't work so she can focus entirely on school. And also, because she doesn't have to. Can you blame her? Would you work hard for $8/hr doing undergrad work when you don't need to?

 

Forget about the money thing; that is entirely her business & she will be responsible when she needs to & the time comes. You should try to be polite to her because that is the type of person you are; respectful to everyone, not as a reflection of others' actions but because it is the right thing to do. Don't give her personal information & spend less time with her, but don't speak negatively of her in the presense of others unless you want to be another version of her, minus the Luis Vuitton & new car. You have every right to cut off the friendship if she isn't being a true friend, as long as you do it the right way & not speak of her like she does of you.

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