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Stupid feelings!


Rose21

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My boyfriend and I have a very good and satisfying relationship, we've been together pract a year.

 

Now that I've started Lexapro the irrational thinking and being constantly worried has stopped, and the anxiety has lessend. But everyone has worries from time to time. I love my boyfriend very much and I cannot picture my life without him.

 

He tells me everyday how much he loves me and that when he says something on how he feels, he means it because that's something he is 100% sure on because it has to do with him.

 

I'm not worried about cheating. That's not something he or I would ever do, we are very loyal. My only concern is that I'm going to a small community college for 2 yrs, then I will transfer to his college and he's going to a huge university 5 hrs away from me. He doesn't hang out with girls or give out his number, but I worry (like all girls) That he will loose interest in me, want to heighten his options because he's at a large univeristy and that I'm his 1st for everything past kissing, and his longest relationship and 1st love.

 

I want to be the last. I know it's stupid of me to be worrying when everything is going so well, but I can't help thinking about it from time to time. He isn't the type of guy who would ever play the field or "date" around. Neither was I. Although I thought I was innocent before him, then I met him and was like Woah.

 

I just worry....Because I don't want his love to fade for him or want more options. I know this is irrational, but how can I stop worrying about this?

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I guess you can take a different approach. Instead of letting your insecurities get the best of you, remind yourself that he is with YOU, even if it's not always physically. But he is an adult now, like yourself (or almost one) and if you are with him, it's b/c you know deep down how loyal he is.

 

If suddenly he decides he wants to see what's out there, what can you do?

It's hard to take this approach but that is all you really can do. Or else you will smother him trying so hard to not let him get away. In the meantime, he doesn't even have any intentions of cheating or leaving you, so try and enjoy what you both have found in each other, instead of worrying so much.

I think as long as you keep him happy and don't smother him and become overly insecure, or demand things he finds hard to give (a.k.a. time) things should be ok.

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You just have accept the fact that we can never stop someone from doing what they want to do. If he wants to be true to only you he will be. If he wants to see someone else he will. It is really all that simple. I am not saying he will. But if you think in the terms that you can never stop someone by worrying, or complaining or holding onto them with a strangle hold, then you remove all of the afore mentioned things. It is not in your realm of control, so worrying about it is pointless, see what I mean?

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I think what you are feeling is perfectly natural. J/H and Vic are right.

 

As your love grows stronger and deeper these doubts will lesson. Take the time away from him to learn about yourself and grow. Do not loose yourself in this relationship as so many young girls do. Be yourself and live YOUR life with him in it. Learn what makes you truly happy and then share your happiness with him instead of looking to him to make you happy. As you grow and become stronger you will be more confident and have less insecurties and doubts. He is in love with you, not what you can do for him as you are in love with him for the same reasons. Build from the positives in your life and relationship and the path to lasting love will show itself.

 

 

lost

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My boyfriend struggled with this for a bit. Except he had thoughts that one day I would want to explore other things, people, life etc and want to 'live' a little was thought I would want someone different, etc. because of my age.

 

Anyway, I found it VERY frustrating that he was doubting me, my feelings and my committment. He knew I wasn't the type to do it, but it still bothered him.

 

The only thing that pushed those feelings away was just showing basic commitment to him. Just reinforcing things, doing key things that meant alot, and just showing that I want him and only him, throughout the years has just proven to him that all that other crap is not true.

 

Just pointing out basic things, my past, my present, my actions, my behaviors, what do i do, what do i tell him and all that..

 

But at the end of the day, if he's feeling like he needs to explore other things, what can you do? Nothing..let him go. You don't have control over that, so it should have no business in the present.

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I know, I know and I really do love him. As I know he does.

 

Both of us have discussed the future and talk about how we want to be the only ones for eachother, and eventually married. Altghough not before the age of 25 because graduating college and getting a good education/career is very important to us and should come first. We are on the same page and we likely both want Master's degrees.

 

I used to be a total slacker, but seeing how he is with his work and obligations has made me want to better myself.

 

I certaintly have lots of things I enjoy in my life just for me weather it be reading, napping, working out and being with friends but I can't imagine my life without him.

 

I don't know what I would do without him, I feel as though I would fall apart.

 

The thought of him in the arms of another woman some day terrifies and sickens me. I want to be the only one.

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I've talked myself through it saying how it's just feelings, and I know that it's not true. Laugh to myself, and think of all the things that prove his undying love for me. Call him up, just talk to him and reassure myself. Occupy myself by doing something else etc.

 

But sometimes if I'm really down or anxious that doesn't always work.

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