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I want to send this to him, via email. What do you think?


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Dear X,

 

I hate having to contact you about this kind of thing or sending you these kinds of emails/texts, because of the possibility that you’ll open it up and think ‘Oh God, not this again’. But I just feel so lost, I have no idea where I stand. so i feel really so

helpless. i don’t want things to go on this way. I really didn’t want to contact you but I don’t see how else I could clear this air other than to discuss this with you. I hate things being so awkward and unclear. You’ve had your opportunity to vent and get everything off your chest in that long text you sent me a few weeks ago. It hurts more than anything for you to think I’m such an intolerable person, and that I deserve all of this pain. The thing that hurts the MOST out of everything is that, I gave so much of myself to you and my priority in life, and I risked my entire heart and everything, I really took so much pride in everything we had, and the WORST THING IN THE WORLD is you just saying, ‘Well, what a waste of time, she ruined my life’. It just chokes up my throat. I really wish I could just express this with words so you can realise what that feeling is like. You seemed to care so much when we were together, whenever I was going through rough times, you really cared. And all the pain I went through for 6 months, because of the way you acted towards me, you said you wouldn’t make me feel that way again. I THOUGHT it would work too, I had all my hopes and dreams ripped out of my heart too. I am not saying anything I did/the France episode was excusable but I wish you didn’t see me as this...monster, I wish I could see how you can be repulsed by me so much, its one of the saddest things…I don’t know, is what I did that bad that I deserve this?? I know that I’ve done all the VERY embarrassing things that an ex does in irrational states, I’ve done all the pathetic * * * * that I shouldn’t have done, I’ve made all the classic mistakes that have ended up making myself look ridiculous. I have done all the things that you/my friends/family have told me not to do but my heart just pumps and I think to myself ‘no I’ve got to’. I’ve made all the classic mistakes. I want to stop hassling myself with this on my mind every single morning and night. And I really really don’t want to hassle you. Also, I don’t know what you’ve heard but I never ever texted your friends. I’ve never said a single bad word about you to anyone in my entire life. You’ve known me for…well you’ve known me for 3 years now…I just beg of you not to judge me on what happened in the recent dramas. Oh and I apologise if I seemed rude the other day at the pool, I just went for a quick cooldown after my workout I was in too much shock to say hello when I first saw you. And I assumed you wouldn’t want me to talk to you anyway because your dad was there. I understand you need to back off from me completely and just not have me in your life in any sense or form, and I think I need that too in order to heal, because seeing you is always a major setback in the whole process. Every time I see you it always stirs up my mind for a few days afterwards and I’m just reminded of you. I don’t think I’d ever be able to get over you unless I just DON’T see you at all. BUT deep down I know that not seeing you is something that I’d want literally ‘forever’…not for my whole life. I just don’t know if you feel that way too? We’ve been through so so much together right from day one- I’ve never been through so much with a person as I have with you, so it would be sad to never talk to you ever again.

It’s just hard for me to get my head together because I have no idea what’s going through your mind, and whether you actually WANT me to treasure what we had or whether you want me to pretend as though it never happened. Am I *ex girlfriend’s name* to you..? I don’t know what I am to you, I really don’t…its so hard for me to hold what we had close to my heart when I know that you hate everything to do with it. I cant do it that way- I cant think of you when I know that. Please help me because I’m going mad…Thanks. PS. I know you probably think ‘well she never thought of my feelings when I needed space and she didn’t give to me’…which is fair enough. but you breaking up with me really was enough of a punishment…xx

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long text
that is an oxymoron. text messages can't fit more than 170 characters, right?

 

you know what? i'd just move on. Don't send the letter. it won't help. it doesn't make you look classy or put-together. he'll roll his eyes at it. just move forward. If you need to..... write out the letter...... and then burn it. don't send it to him.

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I think you should take this letter to a counselor at your school and talk with him or her about your feelings. I really hope you do not send it to your ex. It sounds like he has requested space (based on the last sentence of your proposed email) and frankly, yes, if you send this, it is showing him loud and clear that his feelings and his need for space are not important to you.

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I really don't see any point in contacting him. I see no good coming from it. You need to let him go and move on. As hard as it is. We've all had to do this at multiple points in life and you just have to force yourself to do it. This is not healthy.

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Aw hunny I know ow you feel but I really would not send this email. I am sure that he knows how you feel about things anyway. Also the email comes accross as needy and desperate and that is something that you definitely do not want. Noone is to say that you will never talk to him again, nothing is set in stone but I really think that you need a considererable amount of time to get over this before you are ready to make contact again.

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Ok....i just feel so blind right now! I thought maybe he'd reply clarifying a few things??? If not then how about just a simple text to say I apologise if I seemed rude the other day at the pool, I just went for a quick cooldown after my workout I was in too much shock to say hello when I first saw you. And I assumed you wouldn’t want me to talk to you anyway because your dad was there...tc x.

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I know that I’ve done all the VERY embarrassing things that an ex does in irrational states, I’ve done all the pathetic * * * * that I shouldn’t have done, I’ve made all the classic mistakes that have ended up making myself look ridiculous. I have done all the things that you/my friends/family have told me not to do but my heart just pumps and I think to myself ‘no I’ve got to’. I’ve made all the classic mistakes.

 

i think sending this email would be yet another one of those mistakes. at this point, you should just walk away, head held high.

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Ok....i just feel so blind right now! I thought maybe he'd reply clarifying a few things??? If not then how about just a simple text to say I apologise if I seemed rude the other day at the pool, I just went for a quick cooldown after my workout I was in too much shock to say hello when I first saw you. And I assumed you wouldn’t want me to talk to you anyway because your dad was there...tc x.

 

no, don't do this either. if he wanted to talk to you, he could have come up to you himself, and like you said - you were there to work out. don't even bother sending this.

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seriously, don't send anything, not even to say that you are not stalking him. obviously, sometimes, people run into each other - at the grocery store, at the mall, etc..... just a coincidence, and unless you happen to be 'bumping into him' every single day, then i'm sure he doesn't think he is being stalked.

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-HUGS-

 

I know the pain and frustration of feeling so lost. I'm not sure why, but this thread is nearly making me cry. It's so hard to feel like you've lost everything and like you don't have control. But I don't think you should write him. I know it's hard - it may feel impossible to fight the urge - but you just shouldn't.

 

I'm so sorry.

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Hunny

 

Don't send the email or a text. Don't send him anything at all.

 

The other posters have given really sound advice. Nothing will come of this and you'll be causing yourself more pain.

 

If it's any help to you, my recent split was messy too. I made some stupid mistakes for the first time in my life and I never wanted it to end in the way it did. Because of her immaturity and lack of respect for me, I had to just accept the mess for what it was and walk away. It was hard for me to accept too but trying to 'put things right' would have only caused more pain and trouble for me.

 

I needed 'clarity' and answers too. You don't always get them and have to chalk it up to experience. Sometimes it’s best to leave things broken and ‘in a mess’.

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You know why you shouldn't send this?? Simply because you have gone this route before and you have always ended up right where you are now....left hanging from a messy breakup.

 

It's time to stop this vicious cycle.

 

I know you dont want him to hate you, but maybe he won't if you give him what he has repeatedly asked of you...which is space and to be left alone.

 

If and when he ever wants to be in contact with you again, he will come to you on his own.

 

Don't try to force him into resolving these feelings you are having. The one thing he will feel after receiving an e-mail like that from you is resentment towards you.

 

Sometimes you just have to let things go no matter how horrible you are feeling inside.

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