I feel horrible since rejecting ex.

[Abbygail]

A small backstory is that my ex and I were NC for a few months. When we started talking again things were great, but the topic of getting back together came up which is why everything fell apart.

 

We discussed it for two weeks or so but in the end I had to tell him that I can't focus on a possible future with him while still dating someone else. (He knew I was with someone else already.)

 

Now I just feel horrible/guilty for hurting him. I feel like a bad person even though I know I'm not. I woke up today feeling depressed because I had to reject him and it hasn't changed. He's out of town right now and I thought it would give me a chance to take my mind off him, but it hasn't.

 

Has anyone else felt this way? What can I do to feel better?

[starlight40]

Hey Ab, im feeling that way too at the moment, my ex hurt me badly and we broke up then for 6 months now hes been sorry and has been trying to get me back.I feel i cant have him back because i was just too hurt by it all and that if i went back all his promises would be short lived and i cant risk beinmg hurt like that again. I guess youve got to ty and think that what you are doing is the best thing for you and that if its the best thing for you its the best thing for him cos untimately he wouldnt be happy if you went back for the wrong reasons.

[testcase]

I dunno what to tell you. I'd say just tell it like it is an realize he could leave your life completely. This is basically the main reason being friends with an ex or talking to an ex is a strange situation. Someone usually wants more and two people who used to be on the same page are just in two different places. Let him know, don't give him false hope to hang onto and I'm sure while it will hurt him he will come out stronger and a better man.

[Abbygail]

Hey Ab, im feeling that way too at the moment, my ex hurt me badly and we broke up then for 6 months now hes been sorry and has been trying to get me back.I feel i cant have him back because i was just too hurt by it all and that if i went back all his promises would be short lived and i cant risk beinmg hurt like that again. I guess youve got to ty and think that what you are doing is the best thing for you and that if its the best thing for you its the best thing for him cos untimately he wouldnt be happy if you went back for the wrong reasons.

 

I feel this exact same way. We've only been broken up for 3-4 months but he hurt me so much while we were together, I couldn't get back with him without taking the time to heal from that first.

[starlight40]

I feel this exact same way. We've only been broken up for 3-4 months but he hurt me so much while we were together, I couldn't get back with him without taking the time to heal from that first.

 

Im at a point where i cant get back with him at all, anytime cos he was so selfish and nasty that id just be sitting there waiting for him to drop the nicey nicey act and start up again and who knows...by that time i may be totally inlove with him again....

 

Take your time Ab, dont put pressure on yourself to get back with him and dont feel bad about it either, your trying to do whats right for you and knowone can argue with that.

[DN]

If you are even thinking about getting back together with him, even at some point in the future, then you should not be with someone else. That won't work for anyone and isn't fair to the guy you are with now.

 

I think you need to decide what it is that you want - and don't mislead yourself about your own feelings.

[spazmy]

Take some time off from this. Conflicting feelings can never be sorted out in short periods of time. It takes ages. The more you know yourself, the better the chance that you will know exactly what to feel and perhaps even do in this situation.