Jump to content

Ladies I'm confused again, this girl told me a guy asked her to be his girlfriend after the 1st date


ConfusedDater

Recommended Posts

HUH?? Now what is this all about? As much as I hear about you can;t look desperate and call too much and email too much and this girl tells me a guy asked her to be his girlfriend after 1 date?? So should I now become even MORE aggressive with ole man winter staring me in the face?

 

 

has any female been asked this after one date?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If a guy asked me to be his girlfriend after one date, I'd probably laugh...you need a bit more time than that to figure out if you want to be with someone. At least I do I mean.

 

Dont think much of it...it seems a little quick to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HUH?? Now what is this all about? As much as I hear about you can;t look desperate and call too much and email too much and this girl tells me a guy asked her to be his girlfriend after 1 date?? So should I now become even MORE aggressive with ole man winter staring me in the face?

 

 

has any female been asked this after one date?

 

Well, I think that is okay if the two people have known each other for a little while before the first date...for example if they were hanging out in the same crowd, if they had been friends before, if they had been in communication with each other by email and phone for a little while before meeting. In other words, if there had been an adequate getting to know you phase before the first official date. If, however, there has been virtually no "getting to know you phase" then I would be concerned that asking to be an official couple on the first date has more to do with wanting desperately to get out of "single-land" and into "being part of a couple-land".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been asked many times to be a guys gf on the first date. If the guy can pull it off in a confident way, and I think there's a chance of it working, sure! The trick is (pay attention guys) you have to show her you desperately want HER, not just a gf. It's tough to do, but thoroughly charming when it works. They have all turned into long term relationships, too. CD, females are all different and we all like different things. There is no secret formula. It's more like 10,000 different formulas. Just be yourself and relax. You get a bit uptight and that is turnoff for most women. Likes, dislikes, lines that work, etc...all different. Just like guys.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in many other cultures - people date exclusively from day one. in america, people date multiple people until they agree not to. but i know in many other countries, it's assumed when you go on a date with someone, you are not seeing anyone else. and i think that's fine. i feel more comfortable with that anyways.

 

and besides - what's the big deal about bf/gf anyways? it's not a legal and binding title, and is very easy to get out of. if it doesn't work, you just break up!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been asked many times to be a guys gf on the first date. If the guy can pull it off in a confident way, and I think there's a chance of it working, sure! The trick is (pay attention guys) you have to show her you desperately want HER, not just a gf. It's tough to do, but thoroughly charming when it works. They have all turned into long term relationships, too. CD, females are all different and we all like different things. There is no secret formula. It's more like 10,000 different formulas. Just be yourself and relax. You get a bit uptight and that is turnoff for most women. Likes, dislikes, lines that work, etc...all different. Just like guys.

 

 

just feel like a loser since i have no idea how to get a girlfriend, especially at my age. I was having a good day until she told me that

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 date?? thats way too fast. i stand behind the belief you need to be friends for at least a few weeks before you can decide if you are going to get along. if i was you i would just sit tight and wait for their "relationship" to fail.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 date?? thats way too fast. i stand behind the belief you need to be friends for at least a few weeks before you can decide if you are going to get along. if i was you i would just sit tight and wait for their "relationship" to fail.

 

you never know. my parents knew each other for 6 weeks before they got married. that marriage lasted until he died. my mom's current husband, they dated for 4 weeks before they married, they've been together for 5 years now.

 

so no, i don't think 1 date and then being bf/gf is extreme.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband asked me to marry him a week after our first date. He proposed with a ring he bought 3 days after our first date. This was after only a few weeks of IM chat and phone calls prior to that first date.

 

If you get the right people at the right time in the right circumstances, things just fall together like that.

 

Perhaps part of your confusion stems from the fact that there really is no set of rules that's going to work for everyone. You have to approach each potential partner as an individual and monitor how that person is reacting to you and how how you are reacting to them rather than following some conventional wisdom that may have worked for other people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband asked me to marry him a week after our first date. He proposed with a ring he bought 3 days after our first date. This was after only a few weeks of IM chat and phone calls prior to that first date.

 

If you get the right people at the right time in the right circumstances, things just fall together like that.

 

Perhaps part of your confusion stems from the fact that there really is no set of rules that's going to work for everyone. You have to approach each potential partner as an individual and monitor how that person is reacting to you and how how you are reacting to them rather than following some conventional wisdom that may have worked for other people.

 

 

 

I just don't know what else to do, if u call everyday, you are desperate but then i hear a guy asked to marry you after one week. But normally a female would call that CREEPY since she hasn;t known him that long.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just don't know what else to do, if u call everyday, you are desperate but then i hear a guy asked to marry you after one week. But normally a female would call that CREEPY since she hasn;t known him that long.

 

it's not about 'a female' CD - everyone is different, and using one forumla won't gaurantee you sucess with everyone. like S2S says - depends on the individual, their connection, and when they met in their lives. everyone is unique.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

just feel like a loser since i have no idea how to get a girlfriend, especially at my age. I was having a good day until she told me that

 

Maybe this is part of the issue- to let something like this ruin your entire day is a bit melodramatic, no? You know nothing about the rest of the story, whether the relationship's good or not, what happened on that first date. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing and try to be true to yourself. There is no formula, as everyone here has said.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just don't know what else to do, if u call everyday, you are desperate but then i hear a guy asked to marry you after one week. But normally a female would call that CREEPY since she hasn;t known him that long.

 

So, here's a look at the circumstances that didn't make it creepy for me:

 

1. I knew what I was looking for relationship-wise and had no problem clearly stating that to a potential date. I was in my mid-30's and was ready to be in a marriage relationship. No more bf/gf, date, maybe live together after a while and then break up after a few years. That freaked out some potential dates, and that was fine. To me, it was simply an indication that we did not have the same relationship goals. Sooner we figured that out, the less time we both wasted.

 

2. My husband knew what he was looking for relationship-wise before he ever bumped into me online, and he also had no problem clearly stating that. Happened to be very similar to what I was looking for.

 

At that point it was simply a matter of meeting up in person to see if that elusive thing called chemistry or attraction was there.

 

After the first time I talked to him on the phone, I kinda figured it would be, because we were pretty much finishing each other's sentences on that first phone call.

 

So that's why it wasn't creepy.

 

Had it been a different guy or had that first phone call been awkward and uncomfortable, it might be an entirely different story.

 

Celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary this past summer...we haven't run out of crap to talk about, we still like each other, we both still would rather hang out with each other than anyone else, and we still finish each other's sentences.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe this is part of the issue- to let something like this ruin your entire day is a bit melodramatic, no? You know nothing about the rest of the story, whether the relationship's good or not, what happened on that first date. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing and try to be true to yourself. There is no formula, as everyone here has said.

 

 

I think I don't like hearing about another guy succeeding because it frustrates me. Especially since I have not done well but have gotten better. And then she said he was shaking due to nervousness and thought it was cute but when I used to shake I used to turn girls off. So it was a story that got under my skin

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HUH?? Now what is this all about? As much as I hear about you can;t look desperate and call too much and email too much and this girl tells me a guy asked her to be his girlfriend after 1 date?? So should I now become even MORE aggressive with ole man winter staring me in the face?

 

 

has any female been asked this after one date?

 

Maybe she's desperate too.....How can you commit to someone after one date.....ridiculous

 

Most normal people would consider him a stalker and run really really fast... lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe she's desperate too.....How can you commit to someone after one date.....ridiculous

 

Most normal people would consider him a stalker and run really really fast... lol

 

why ridiculous? bf/gf isn't a committment anyways - not a commitment like an engagement or marriage.

 

if they become bf/gf on the first date, then they go out on another 4-5 dates and see that they are incompatible, they just break up! simple as that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...