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Its my bday and I wish my ex was with me :(


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Some of you may have been reading my threads on here over the past couple of weeks. Gf of 5 years broke up with me.

 

Today is my bday and although my friends and family are making it a great day, a part of me feels so empty without my ex being here. She has been part of every bday since I was 21. Im 26 today.

 

Im on day 5 of NC and doing alot better. But I cant help but wish she was here to make my day even better. She was always so good at that. I know she wont contact me today as she told me in a letter this past Monday.

 

She said have a great day Thursday and try not to think about things. I think its best that I do not contact you on your bday.

 

I wish she would cause I miss her. But it would probably only make me hurt.

 

Just venting again guys. Im so lucky to have this forum and all of you to help me through this break up. I miss her so!

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Hey. Happy birthday. I love Scorpios!

 

Look, when you split with someone you spent five years with, it hurts. It's only been 5 days of NC, so cut yourself some slack. This past bday, I turned 26 too and missed my idiot ex a lot because I thought about how great the birthday BEFORE that, when he was in my life, was. I feel horrible now because my friends went out of their way to make it a good bday, and all I could do was cry over an idiot who didn't give an eff about me anymore.

 

Don't make that mistake. Your family and friends know you're hurting and they're trying their best to make this a special day. Be sad, but try to look on the bright side - it's your bday, you have people around who love you, and some time, you will have another gf to spend your bdays with.

 

I hope you have a good one!

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Happy birthdayyyyyyyyyyy sweety, call the ex if u want the ex back , why not, sometimes she probably waiting for u to call her. Call ex, even if its for today alone, tell ex how u feel, life is short, live with no regrets. Love starzzzz xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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You know, everytime i feel bad I come on here and write about it. Then all of you come and put a positive spin on my negative feelings and I end up smiling for hours.

 

You guys are right. Its my bday and my friends are making an effort to make me happy. I should embrace that and accept it and push the thoughts of my ex out of my mind!

 

Hulk, I hope you have a great birthday on Monday too. Lets try to make this a postive as possible. Sure we will miss them like crazy, but they are not coming back. Not today.

 

Alcide, I do want to call her but I feel like it wont make a difference and ill be breaking NC for it and have to start over. But I do appreciate your input and advice.

 

Thanks guys. I suddenly feel happy. I hope this continues all day and that I dont have to post about missing her again.........at least til tomorrow

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Thanks sweetheart11,

 

It has been up and down all day today. One minute I feel like I dont care that shes not here cause she chose not to be. Who cares. I have awesome friends and family and this day has been kick * * * * haha.

 

Then the next minute I feel like I miss her so much and I cant believe she isnt here with me especially today. I want to hold her and kiss her and go for dinner then snuggle and blah blah blah.

 

It sucks but its good. I think if I can make it through today it will only make me stronger. Good luck to you sweetheart11 next week and Happy Birthday to you. Let us know how it goes and if you need support, you know where to come.

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I sooo know how you feel.

 

Birthdays, first-date anniversaries, first 'I love you anniversaries', first sex anniversaries, the summer, Halloween, Xmas, New Year (Oh MAN how I'm dreading New Year...) can be awful and really upsetting. I had such a bad relapse last week thinking of Halloween and the happy loveydovey place I was in this time last year. It's so frustrating, the combination of remembering what you did this time last year and thinking about what your ex is doing this time around. Are they thinking of you? Do they remember its your bday or remember the significance of last year's Xmas or whatever in your relationship? It's awful!

 

I'm going to give some really obvious advice here, but once I realised this, it really helped me cope with all those significant dates...

 

You have a choice in this. You can either

a) spend your birthday (or xmas or any other significant date) thinking back on how great you felt the year before, living through that day in terms of ''oh..this time last year I was..'', ''at this very hour two years ago I felt...'', wondering what your ex is doing, wallowing in self-pity and turning what should be a fun occasion into a negative one

 

or

 

b) you can keep yourself as busy as you possibly can for that day, focus on the PRESENT, block any thoughts of previous years out of your mind, block your ex out of your mind for that day, and enjoy yourself.

 

I know, it's easier said than done. But, as I've recently realised, sometimes the simplest advice is the best. In general, I think that it is vital to acknowledge the significance of your pain and how you feel about the breakup, never bottle it up...but for that one day when you are extra prone to hurting (ie: an anniversary), just put your head down, as it were and get through the day as easily as you can. Don't let those masochistic thoughts creep in. Keep busy, enjoy your day, talk to friends, family, make the most of this special day, and just TRY TRY TRY not to think about your ex for that one day, and you'll be surprised at how quickly it goes by and how much you enjoy yourself.

 

I speak from experience. Halloween was ruined by me pondering over my ex and spending the day thinking ''a year ago at this time, we were...'' ''but this year, I bet he is...'', etc etc. Whereas my birthday this year was actually great. I woke up that morning and said ''NO THOUGHTS OF THE EX TODAY, NO MATTER WHAT!'' and had a really good birthday! I don't know why I didn't continue this mode of thinking for Halloween (I guess I just forgot), but I'm sad I didn't. Just try and keep them out of your mind.

 

And as for going up and down, that's part of the healing process. You'll hopefully find over time that your feelings about it become more stable, hopefully for the better.

 

Happy birthday, enjoy it!

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Thanks for your advice TBE_1989.

 

You are right its simple advice but its good advice. Im tripping over a few stumbling blocks right now but I think its cause Im at work. Once I leave I should be able to put her out of my mind for the rest of the day. This is the first anniversary/bday whatever day since we broke up so its the one I learn from. Thakns for your insight.

 

The ex is not worth any of my time or thoughts today

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Egh, my ex-girlfriend's birthday next week. Depressing. Who knows who'll she'll end up spending it with. Sigh. Maybe in a few years time we'll spend a birthday together again, I can but hope.

 

By the way.... happy birthday anyway mate! I think the thing that always gets me through break ups is clinging to my friends and making sure I'm distracted by the heartache. Have a good one!

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I completely relate to you. Yesterday was my birthday too and despite the fact that I was surrounded by family and friends and having a great time, all I could think about was how he wasn't there and he didn't try to contact me to even say happy birthday. I had a great birthday but it was just so hard not to think about the fact that the only thing I wanted is the only thing I can't have.

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So as i said above i made it through my actual bday on Thursday without contacting her and without her contacting me. It was really hard at times to feel happy without her around me. I was busy all day so that really helped but couldnt shake that feeling of her. I know she was thinking of me too as she wished me a happy bday in advance of the day so not to contact me. She is still trying to protect me which is starting to make me angry.

 

Lastnight was the party portion of my bday. I went out with a bunch of friends and had a great time. Again I couldnt help but think of her though and I missed her. I wish she was there. I have heard through the grapevine that she is getting excited about her new place and stuff so it sounds like she is still moving on. In a way that helped me enjoy my night more lastnight. I am not ready to date or anything still. But I did meet a nice girl lastnight. It has been so long since I tried talking to girls at a bar and I had no idea how to do it anymore. Anyways, I finally worked up enough courage to go talk to this girl I thought was really cute and we hung out for a while. She took my number although she did say she was sort of seeing someone. Thats fine with me. I wasnt expecting much. But it felt good to know there are other people out there besides my ex.

 

So my bday experience without my ex for the first time in 5 years was a mix of emotions but mostly still positive. Its been 3 and a half weeks since she originally left and a month since we broke up. Today I am waking up and feeling (well besides the hangover good about myself. But I also still miss her like crazy.

 

Its day 7 of NC. Im proud of myself. THanks everyone for the bday wishes and words of advice. It helped alot!

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Happy birthday Tyler. I can absolutely relate to your feelings as well. My birthday is coming up next month and I'm dreading it...I'm praying to be in a better frame of mind by then or I fear it will be a very sad day. But you deserve much credit and respect by making it through with contacting her. That is a big step. And in future tough days when you will be tempted to call her, remembering that you made it through your birthday without doing it, when you wanted to do it most, will make it easier to stick to your NC. Take care!

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thanks skittles.

 

I was pretty good for the most part this past week and this weekend. But today I am losing it. I feel like I cant stop missing her and its really hurting today. Im surprised she hasnt tried to contact me this whole week or weekend. I initiated NC but I thought she would still try to contact me. I know its best that she doesnt.

 

I just feel so sad this morning. Like its day 1 again. Its as if the reality of the situation is sinking in again. This is hard right now. I thought I was passed the really upset stage and just into stage of pushing my feelings for her aside. But today I feel horrible. I miss her so much. Just needed to vent.

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Yeah Tyler, what bfish said. Isn't it amazing how one day you think you're completely fine and then the next day it's like the break-up is just now hitting you. Happens to me in cycles of three. Three days I'll be high as a kite, the next three...I don't even wanna talk about it. I think I'm sinking back into that mode right now, deep down we have to tell ourselves to just forget it. I know it's hard.

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thanks for the support.

 

I deleted her as a friend on facebook today. It was kiling me to see her profile every day. I couldnt stay away. Also, it will stop her from seeing what Im up to. I hope this was the best decision.

 

Im still struggling today though. I was hoping it was just a rough morning as mornings are usually the worst. I went out for a few hours on my own and my emotions are getting the best of me. Im back at my friends place although he and his gf are out. Im so lucky to have this site to come to so I can express myself.

 

I cant wait to get through this.

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thanks for the support.

 

I deleted her as a friend on facebook today. It was kiling me to see her profile every day. I couldnt stay away. Also, it will stop her from seeing what Im up to. I hope this was the best decision.

 

Im still struggling today though. I was hoping it was just a rough morning as mornings are usually the worst. I went out for a few hours on my own and my emotions are getting the best of me. Im back at my friends place although he and his gf are out. Im so lucky to have this site to come to so I can express myself.

 

I cant wait to get through this.

 

Yep, it's an old cliche but the emotions post-break up really are a 'rollercoaster'. ENA kept me sane a year or two ago, and I'm having to use it a lot again this time too. You'll get through it, we all will, but yeah it just takes time.

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Happy Birthday in Heaven Quotes & Wishes

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