Live with girl friend (platonic) but I've developed feelings

[owlman]

Man oh man, is this a messy situation. I've been living with a young woman for almost 3 years now, we've been great friends for about 5 or 6 years. Buy I've found that I've started to develop feelings for her, well, not started, it's been coming for abtou 12-18 months. (She's been giving me mixed-messages the whole time) I had finally decided to try and tell her how I feel. (we've kissed, little friendly smacks, a couple times.) But the past 2 weekends, somethings has always come up to prevent me from having a chance to talk with her.

So for Valentine's Day, we went out with a married couple friends of ours had dinner & a movie, had a great time. She was leaving for the weekend to see a friend (female). Before she left, I said "Kiss me." She did (another quick peek) gave me a hug and giggled "you crackhead." Then she left. Well, over the weekend, while out with her friend, she met a guy and exchanged numbers. He called last night and they talked for about 2-3 hours. It ended with them setting a lunch date for today.

Needless to say, I'm completely crushed. Here I am on the verge of telling her how I feel and she's started dating again. (Neither of us have dated the past couple years.) Should I still tell her, before anything progresses with this new guy, or have I blown my chance? (I'd really love to hear from some ladies on this one.)

Thanks!

[bleeder]

Hi Owlman,

 

Timing is essential here.

 

Before her relationship with this "new guy" can blossom or bear fruit, it is best that you discuss with her your feelings now. No sense in delaying this.

 

Try to make it light when you speak to her. Say something like "I will be a major idiot to keep this to myself, but there is one crackhead that has developed some feelings for you". Study her face and expressions for the first couple of seconds. That, is a dead give away to see if she's pleased or shocked.

 

Have courage!

[dude123]

Sorry to say this but I think that you lost your chance with her. What happen is you took too long and while doing that she found someone that she is interested in. If I was you I would not tell her that you have feeling for her because she already has found someone. I would just try forgetting. There is that special person out there for all of us if you know what I mean.

[owlman]

I gotta say, I like Bleeder's answer better than your's dude123. Nothing personal. If I tell her now, before there's any real interaction between her and this other guy, could I possibly stand a chance?

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

My two cents are: if you take it as loose as Bleeder suggested, you have a chance to get out again as easy as you came in and still be friends with her if you want to. I would try to talk to her, too

 

I hope this helps you

 

~ SwingFox ~

[bleeder]

Thinking with an optimistic thought here, she might be making those moves to know more guys probably because you have not made any as yet.

 

I can't gauge what your chances are, using a 'basketball metaphor' here; how would you know that the ball won't enter the net if you do not even try to throw the ball in? Taking that first step to talk to her is important.

 

I hope for the best for you. Oh yes, no, it is not late I feel. Better now than never. Good luck!

[dude123]

You do have a point there. I myself would leat a little time pass and see what will happen anyways. If you say you might have a chance then go for it.

[owlman]

alrighty, we talked briefly before they went out Monday; I started with, "I'm not really ready to meet the guy you're going on a date with, and I think you may know why." We talked a few minutes down that avenue but then I had to leave. (I just couldn't be in the house when he came to pick her up.)

Now a couple days have passed, i know they've spoken a couple times on the phone and I think they're going out tomorrow. But here's the weird part: she called up a married couple friends of ours and made plans for the 4 of us for Friday. Now maybe this is just continuing in the veins of friendship, but what do yall think? (yeah, I'm from the South.) Assuming we have a good time Friday, should I try to take some time when we get home and really have a talk with her?

I tell you, my head is just spinning.