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I feel so left out and alone please help


chippie86

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i am having trouble with myself. i am a 20 years old female that lives in Australia. i am not fat but not skinny. i have liked a few guys in the last few months. i have became good friends with them, but they don't seem to be interested in me as in a relationship.

i feel left out as i have friends that are younger then me that can get guys when ever they want. i think i have trouble as i am a nurse. i am smart and a different kind of girl.

the thing that hurts me is the guys will be my friend but not anything more then that.

please help me i feel useless and i left out so bad what can i do??

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As another 20 year old, you need confidence in yourself. You don't need a guy to be happy or make your life any better. But confidence is key, not cockiness, but honest to goodness confidence. I love to work out, because it's something that makes me feel better about myself. Everything else will fall into place.

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I know how you feel acctaully. It's the way I felt for a very long time I was watching all my girlfriends get bf's all around me. While all my boy friends saw me as like a friend. In the end I just I thought off being my self stuffing what others thought, and hopeing for the best. It did work acctaully cause guys started asking me out.

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Im almost the exact same way. Sad fact is 90% of people are all or mostly about looks when choosing someone to date. I will not lie, i have to be attracted to them but i would much rather be with someone who is perfect in every way with average looks than be with the most beautiful person who is average in every other aspect.

 

you will meet someone someday

the only other advice i can give you, which has worked for me and got me in a relationship atleast(not sure how well it is going or will end up) is to be brave and ask a guy out, his number, or to be more than just your friend. im very shy but i felt i just had to ask this girl for her # and now we have been on a few dates and see each other almost every day.

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Although many on here will either dance around the true cause or just tell you not to worry about it, the amount of guys that are interested in you is directly related to how you look physically. It's not a good thing or a bad thing, arguing those opinions is pointless. This is the way it is and it's this way for a reason.

 

So what to do? There are some things about yourself which can only be fixed through plastic surgery, which might not be practical for you right now. So you can consider those options at a later time. But there are other things you can do which are not so drastic. Eat a batter diet and exercise. If you need to educate yourself about these things there are plenty of resources out there for you. Then just have the self control not to eat poorly or be lazy. Dress well, you don't have to spend a lot to do well in this area. Finally put yourself in lots of social situations and smile. Where do you think you'll have the best chance of meetig the most guys, at a bar or in front of the TV?

 

But if you don't do these things, don't be surprised with getting similar previous results. Don't be mad at guys or expect us to change, we can't control who we're attracted to!

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You may not have had luck with any of your guy friends, but that doesn't mean that no guy would have feelings for you. Sometimes it takes a while to meet the right person. Before my bf & I were together, he had the same situation as you. He was 21, had a ton of female friends but never had a gf before me. In fact, before me he had only kissed one other girl, once in his life. There's nothing wrong with him, he was just too shy to approach girls.

 

Stop thinking of yourself as "a different kind". When you put that label on yourself, other people will perceive it & feel uncomfortable around you. That's good that your smart, but there are millions of smart people & a lot of nurses in the world. It's good that you are smart & have a noble profession but that doesn't make you different.

 

There are a few things you can do that would probably help you boost your confidence. Maybe take a dance class like Tango; not only will it help you stay in shape, make you feel sexy (because people who know how to Tango look really good doing it!) & physical closeness to the opposite sex, even if you aren't interested in your dance partner particularly. If you don't like dancing, you should definitely start a regular workout routine. It will make you healthier & your body will be toned.

 

Also, look at the type of clothing & makeup you wear. People will say "don't change how you look for a guy" but it is also for you, to make you feel better because you know you look good. Size isn't everything; your clothes can make you look good or bad whether you weight 100lbs or 200lbs. Ask a friend that you know has good style to help you go through your clothes, picking out what fits you well & giving away what doesn't.

 

Makeup can make you look better or make you look.. not good, depending on if it is applied correctly. Go to the makeup counter at Younkers & have them help you learn how to apply makeup in a way that enhances your appearance. Go to hair a salon & ask them to give you a layered cut & highlights. Go to a place with a lot of young stylists; they are more used to styling hair for younger people.

 

All these things... they will make guys notice you more, but more importantly they will give you more confidence because you know you look good.

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This post is totally messed up.

She's 20! I would make similar conclusion as you if she's 25, 20 is like a 2nd year post-secondary.

I have so many friends who doesn't have the generic "pretty" girls wrapped around their arms. When you meet someone with the right chemistry, it defies look anyways. I have plenty of friends to prove that.

 

And yes, i agree with self-confidence. That really amps up my wanting to know someone.

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I don't see the connection between how old she is and how it affects what guys are attracted to. Whether a female is 18 or 40, when it comes to the initial attraction I look for the same characteristics in deciding whether or not to go up and talk to her. I have no way to gauge self confidence when just looking at a girl without talking to her I don't see how this can be done. I am not in the minority of guys on this earth in my views.

I have so many friends who doesn't have the generic "pretty" girls wrapped around their arms. When you meet someone with the right chemistry, it defies look anyways. I have plenty of friends to prove that.

This statement proves nothing as it is very much possible (and actually probable from my experience with other guys dating comparatively unattractive girls) that they just lack the skill in attracting a better looking girl.

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How does being a nurse get in the way? Are you too busy?

 

Anyway I have similar issues as in mostly remaining a friend, but I suspect that is partly due to lacking the confidence to, in effect, sell myself as a mate.

 

well the thing is that no one wants to date some one that deals with the * * * * stuff in life. i have meet guys that liked me but when they asked what i did they though it was gross and did not talk to me.

just because i have to deal with * * * * .

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I don't see the connection between how old she is and how it affects what guys are attracted to. Whether a female is 18 or 40, when it comes to the initial attraction I look for the same characteristics in deciding whether or not to go up and talk to her. I have no way to gauge self confidence when just looking at a girl without talking to her I don't see how this can be done. I am not in the minority of guys on this earth in my views.

 

This statement proves nothing as it is very much possible (and actually probable from my experience with other guys dating comparatively unattractive girls) that they just lack the skill in attracting a better looking girl.

 

it not that i am fat and lazy. i am one of the most fit people you could meet i dance and speed skate ect. i may not be the most attrictive person in the world but i am far off the ugliest. i am having trouble because i have always be the last girl any one wants. i am plain and shy.

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Oh hey, I mean I'm not making any judgment about you myself, you wanted to know why guys aren't interested and I told you the truth. It's because you are not attractive enough to get the guys that you are looking for. Being not ugly isn't good enough for what you're looking for, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.

 

Really the only way I'd be able to tell you what you need to fix about yourself is if I saw a picture. But I do know getting in the best shape possible and dressing really attractively will give you more options.

 

If you want to make the changes we can continue this further, but if all you're looking for is someone to tell you that you don't need to change or "just be patient and he'll come along" let me know and I'll exit the thread. It your life, it's up to you.

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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