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Hi everyone , I am new to this, only joined a few days ago but love it I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me... I recently moved to be with my ld boyfriend, all is going great apart from the fact his family keep trying to interfere,as it would be hard for me to get home for christmas I suggested we spend christmas in our own place(We spent the last 3 apart)he seemed all for it ,however now his parents are asking him about coming over for christmas,they seem to expect us over,he wants to do right by everyone, which i can understand but i told him that they need to realise his not a child anymore at 29 and needs to start doing his own thing sometimes,he sees them every week as it is so surely he could spend christmas with me? am i being unreasonable??

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Personally, I think the holidays should be spent with family whenever possible. But that's just my opinion. If I were near my family or could to where they were, I would want to spend the holidays with them.

 

Is it not possible for you to spend part of the day alone, and part of the day with his family?

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Yeah I agree with Scorpion, if you're not going to spend holidays with family, then you're sort of destroying the point of it.... most of the time people rarely see their families, so holidays are the way to go unless you live right next to your in-laws or parents lol.

 

This is a relationship, make a compromise... find some way that he can still see his family, and you and him can still have your alone time during the holiday and both of you will be happy.

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we live at opposite sides of town , we would be expected to go over christmas eve(after i finish work) and stay til the 26th,I am back to work on the 27th so only have the two days off.

 

 

So you'd have to stay with the family...hmm well, stay with them, then depending on when the family wants to eat, why don't the two of you get out of the house for a while and go walk or something? Take a drive(hopefully if the weather's not bad) and hang out... other than that I don't know, you'd have to use your own ideas to find a way to make it work. Just find a way to make a compromise... talk with him, don't just tell us...k?

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Both of my parents are divorced and both of his parents are divorced. We have to split Thanksgiving and Christmas between 3 parents (his father is in Florida, with the economy the way it is, we can't afford to fly down this year). Thanksgiving is going to spent with my father in Long Island, then for Christmas, we are going to have one day where my father comes out to his mother's house in Jersey, then my mom going to his house, then I have to have Christmas morning with my mom. I'm confused already. Did I cover everything? Anyway, comprise and meet half way with everyone. If your SOs parents get along with you parents, maybe you guys should have everyone over at your place, or see if you can have it at one of your parents houses.

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we live at opposite sides of town , we would be expected to go over christmas eve(after i finish work) and stay til the 26th,I am back to work on the 27th so only have the two days off.

 

Ohhhhhh. still, opposite sides of town can't be so far that you can't go back and forth at least once. Can you still make a compromise, and maybe go over Christmas Day instead, and either leave the same day or stay the night?

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I have spoken to him about this , and I am not trying to be difficult.I would prefer to keep everyone happy also.I can only get two days off work as i work most weekends I rarely get to spend any quality time with my boyfriend.He gets to go home every weekend while i am working,his also off for a week at christmas,they have already asked us over new years day for dinner,which i have noprobs with , mayb i should just go over and say nothing

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I have spoken to him about this , and I am not trying to be difficult.I would prefer to keep everyone happy also.I can only get two days off work as i work most weekends I rarely get to spend any quality time with my boyfriend.He gets to go home every weekend while i am working,his also off for a week at christmas,they have already asked us over new years day for dinner,which i have noprobs with , mayb i should just go over and say nothing

 

But have you tried to meet him in the middle, or are you just like, "I don't want to go."

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yeah i was saying we could go over at christmas and come home the day after , but he says his feeling like he should stay over at least two days,his sister wont be at home and his other sister is spending it with her in laws,

 

Well, he is going to need to be able to compromise a little, too.

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Well, he is going to need to be able to compromise a little, too.

 

Yup. Apparently its a 'his way only' situation, and to me that isnt right..not when you're in a relationship, and within reason.

 

Holidays are tricky, but there needs to be some balance and some compromise from both parties. That part would really bother me. For us, we spend Christmas Eves with our respective familes, then I travel to his family's place [2 hours away] on Christmas Day, and on Boxing Day he comes to my family dinner.

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Yup. Apparently its a 'his way only' situation, and to me that isnt right..not when you're in a relationship, and within reason.

 

Holidays are tricky, but there needs to be some balance and some compromise from both parties. That part would really bother me. For us, we spend Christmas Eves with our respective familes, then I travel to his family's place [2 hours away] on Christmas Day, and on Boxing Day he comes to my family dinner.

 

What's Boxing Day? That sounds like fun!

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I kind of know how you feel op... for the past two years, my bf and I have had christmas together. This year, his mom wants us to come stay with her for a few weeks. I can't afford it and don't really want to go, but am encouraging him to go because family is the most important thing. Even if you go to see his family for Christmas, you'll be together, think of it that way

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