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I told him I have moved on...


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My ex and I have been in LC the last few weeks...but the truth is I don't have it in me anymore to keep trying. Maybe all the fights and distance has just made me indifferent.I don't know. Today I sent him an email after very limited contact the last three weeks, basically telling him I feel as if I am moving on....and it scares me, but maybe it's my way of accepting

the way things are. I don't know.

 

I want to miss him.To be with him....but I can't even force it. Maybe this means it's over for me? Not sure. He has been the one initiating most of our contact lately.I respond usually, but not with the enthusiasm I feel I should. I feel more anxiety after our contact than contentment. Of course I didn't tell him this..but I did say all the fights and disappointments have pushed me away a lot. I even said I think have probably worked out for the best at this point. Ugh.....I hate this, but I felt I should be honest with him.

 

Do you guys think this was a good move on my part? Is this harsh? My email was very nice....and respectful. I am a little apprehensive though, because I know it could affect any small chance we MIGHT have....

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sometimes the truth of things is that it doesn't work out between two people. if you know that and feel that so strongly, you were right to tell him. you said you were respectful and tried not to hurt him, but you obviously needed to let him know that there would be no future together. that was appropriate if you feel like you would otherwise be stringing him along.

 

as for what you should feel, there is no set way you should feel. it sounds like you have grief for losing the relationship, even if it wasn't the best relationship for you.

 

your last line where you say it could kill the small chance you might have -- that seems like the intended purpose of what you just did here. if you feel bad because you just have grief over the relationship not working, that isn't really a chance for it to weather your break up, that's just wishing that life could have turned out differently. i think it is important not to confuse those things.

 

it sounds like you are over him, just not over losing the relationship. if that is why you told him, then you did the right thing. motives like wanting to hurt or punish him would be unhealthy, but it sounds like that isn't what your goal was.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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