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we just stopped talking. what a jerk!


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I just wanted some opinions from you guys...

 

Me and my guy suddenly stopped talking about a month ago. We have been on/off for about 3 years. He's done this before, but it was never a month long. Longest was 3 weeks. No warning, nothing. We got into a series of fights for the last week we started talking and he hung up with a "I'm at work. I'm busy, we'll talk about this later, okay?"

 

3 days later: nothing. So I told him if he cared about us to call me. He called me that day and also ended it with "we'll talk later". Fast forward 3 1/2 weeks: nothing.

 

I have not called or texted him since. The "old me" would've blown up his phone, crying, begging, etc. But I've been focusing on school & honestly, I don't have the desire to contact him... yet, anyway.

 

The weird thing is, he texted my friend randomly out of the blue yesterday.

He seemed to be bragging about some 21+ party he went to that his friends organized for Halloween. We are only 19. He does not drink, I know that for sure.

 

Long story short, my guy so conveniently slipped into the conversation:

"I've only gone a few times to parties with people from work.... ever since I stopped talking to ____".

 

Which is strange to me, because he was never into it before. It's like a complete flip!

 

Then he continued... and said the reason me and him stopped talking was: "She started acting weird and things seemed to change. But I guess I can't blame her because it could have been me acting weird..."

 

Then followed up with how I mean a lot to him, but he doesn't know if he needs space or not, blah blah blah.

 

My conclusion is... if he wants his stupid space, he can HAVE it. I was planning on calling him, but now that I know this... it'll all feed into his stupid ego and STUPID game. Part of me believes he's doing this so word will get through to me.

 

If he wanted things end, he could honestly just tell my friend (OR ME) that he wasn't into it anymore or that he's over me. Leaving things open-ended is dumb.

 

Why the sudden change from "church boy" to "party boy"?

I am pretty sure there is not another girl. My friend asked if there were hot chicks, if he hooked up, if he's with someone new, if he's LOOKING for someone new, etc... and it seemed to be a no. I could be wrong..

 

Just wanted to vent and hear other people's theories.

 

Yeah, I know he's a loser. Yeah, I know I should forget him.

Suggestions? Analyses? .... comments?

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Do you think that he sent the text message to your friend knowing it would get back to you?

 

I just say take the high road now and get some control back... seems like he's been steering this too much. Leaving things open ended is always hard because then you both are unsure where you stand.

 

Make a firm decision and right now, it seems that to break it off completely is the best thing to do. Go out to a party on your own....

 

I think he may be trying to make you a little jealous and is playing head games. And you don't need a guy like that at all.

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I think you know it. He's one of those guys who will never treat you right. He wasn't really raised to treat people with respect, even if he likes them. Consider yourself lucky that he doesn't contact you. Hope it stays that way. If he does, tell him blankly, "I think you need some help with your emotional intimacy issues and recomend a therapist. I also request that you do not contact me. Thanks."

 

He is a wimp who is incapable of a healthy relationship with proper communication.

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Do you think that he sent the text message to your friend knowing it would get back to you?

 

I just say take the high road now and get some control back... seems like he's been steering this too much. Leaving things open ended is always hard because then you both are unsure where you stand.

 

Make a firm decision and right now, it seems that to break it off completely is the best thing to do. Go out to a party on your own....

 

I think he may be trying to make you a little jealous and is playing head games. And you don't need a guy like that at all.

 

I really do believe he sent that text message because he knows my friend and I have the same class together (he sent it while we were in lecture). I've been leaning towards breaking it off with him. So with that, I decided not to call him... it sucks because I miss him, but the head games become too much for me sometimes.

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I think you know it. He's one of those guys who will never treat you right. He wasn't really raised to treat people with respect, even if he likes them. Consider yourself lucky that he doesn't contact you. Hope it stays that way. If he does, tell him blankly, "I think you need some help with your emotional intimacy issues and recomend a therapist. I also request that you do not contact me. Thanks."

 

He is a wimp who is incapable of a healthy relationship with proper communication.

 

I agree too. He never treated me horribly, but he is extremely spiteful and likes to brag about things. Those are never qualities I look for in somebody... but it seems he has them. He is very manipulative, but I know deep down he has a good heart. It'll take somebody to break down his barriers, but I don't think he'll mature anytime soon. ](*,)

 

I like the suggestion of him dealing with his emotional intimacy issues! I think I will tell him that.. IF he ever contacts me again.

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I think you know it. He's one of those guys who will never treat you right. He wasn't really raised to treat people with respect, even if he likes them. Consider yourself lucky that he doesn't contact you. Hope it stays that way. If he does, tell him blankly, "I think you need some help with your emotional intimacy issues and recomend a therapist. I also request that you do not contact me. Thanks."

 

He is a wimp who is incapable of a healthy relationship with proper communication.

 

wow, this thread really struck a cord with me. Both the thread and this response here describe my ex to a tee. i thought it was just him, but maybe theres more like him out there.

 

Really you are better off without him. It took me a while to see this myself. People like this will just come in and out of our lives deciding one week they want us and the next week they don't. We don't need this emotional up and down.. just someone we can relie on.

 

Stay with the NC and get your friend to tell him its over..

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I thought my guy was the only one like that too!

 

I know I am better off without him. I just can't believe he's all "woo!" now... trying to rub it in my face that he was going to a 21+ up Halloween party.

 

I am sticking with the NC as long as I can. It gets difficult. Sometiems I yearn to pick up the phone & yell at him, telling him he can have his f*cking space. But he doesn't deserve to hear my voice.

 

He will miss me. And hopefully by then, it will be too late.

 

And I agree. These guys somehow DETECT when you're moving on or have a new guy & they come running back... it's fascinating, really.

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