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The best parent is both parents.


Perrin83
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Is there anyone out there that thinks a 2 1/2 year old would benefit from seeing both parents every day rather than one all the time and the other one every other weekend?

 

I'd like to switch off weeks with my daughter, between me and my ex wife. I think it's important for her to see both of us every day, for example: if I have her one week, the ex picks her up from daycare and takes her to the park, or somewhere else for a couple of hours every day, and then she comes back home to my house and the opposite next week.

 

Does anyone think that would be healthy/beneficial?

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In some situations, yes and in some no. It depends on the transition. For a 2 year old a switch up like that would be harder than her being with one parent full time and just visiting with the other. Such young children need set routines and I think it would be quite confusing at this point in her life. However, I think it is great that kids see both of their parents every day. My son sees his father once every 2 months if he is lucky.

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In some situations, yes and in some no. It depends on the transition. For a 2 year old a switch up like that would be harder than her being with one parent full time and just visiting with the other. Such young children need set routines and I think it would be quite confusing at this point in her life. However, I think it is great that kids see both of their parents every day. My son sees his father once every 2 months if he is lucky.

 

That sucks I guess I'm just really afraid of parental alienation..maybe not from my ex, but my former in laws are horrible people, and have tried to get me arrested on several occasions. One of them even called in anonymously to CPS saying that I was molesting my daughter. completely unfounded. Luckly that went no where.

 

The funniest part of that was when my ex suggested, "Maybe it was someone from your group of friends."

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Ugh i'm so sorry you had to go through that. I have had similar experiences with my ex's family. I think your plan sounds great, just not at such a young age. How about instead of her being at your house for an entire week and then at her moms house for an entire week, you just continue with the way things are but each day make time to get her and take her to the park or out for lunch or just something small and simple.

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Ugh i'm so sorry you had to go through that. I have had similar experiences with my ex's family. I think your plan sounds great, just not at such a young age. How about instead of her being at your house for an entire week and then at her moms house for an entire week, you just continue with the way things are but each day make time to get her and take her to the park or out for lunch or just something small and simple.

 

I'd love to, but I dont think my ex would be ok with that. I have her for 2 1/2 hours on wednesdays and every weekend now, but as soon as my ex gets a job full time, it'll be every other weekend. I asked her once if I could take my daughter to the park on tuesdays and thurs for an hour or so and she said, "Sure, but I have to be there." Ridiculous.

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If you are allowed to take her those other days, why does she have to be there on other days?

 

Mainly because the other days she cant tell me she has to be there We have an interim custody agreement until the divorce is final, and it says what days I have our daughter. She tells me she doesn't want to lose any time with her, without a care to how my relationship with the baby develops.

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She doesn't have a full time job? Does your daughter go to daycare? What are her days like? What is her routine like?

 

I agree with Mythical. I think it's important for a child so young to have a solid, stable home.

 

Here's my setup: my son sees his dad almost every other day. We both work full time and so M, W, & F I pick him up from daycare and drive him right over to his dad's (or grandma's if dad is stuck in traffic or whatever). They hang out for 2 hours and then he comes home. He loves them so much but he tells them at the end of the night that he's ready to go home. I don't have much time with him on those days other than in the car or giving him a bath and putting him to bed, but it works for us so far. His dad also has him for overnights every other weekend, but usually he comes home exhausted and cranky from not sleeping as well.

 

I hope you both can find a happy, common ground but that takes tons of work...I fought this a lot even though it ended up being for the best. Also I think it's important for the two of them to spend quality time WITHOUT me...it's great to hang out with them both sometimes but just like you and your daughter, they need their own time together.

 

Good luck with everything. You deserve more time with your daughter than just one guaranteed night a week.

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I think your proposed schedule sounds kind of hectic for your child, as well as for each of you. After a long day at day care, I think the best thing is for your daughter to come home and relax, not have another play time with mommy or daddy. With the schedule you propose, she will possibly feel like she is everywhere and no where. In your house, she will have a routine, and in her mom's house she'll have a routine. They don't have to be the same, but she will have to get used to switching back and forth. You don't have to see her only every other weekend. For the past five years, we have split the week and this has worked for us. Right now, she's with me M-F and with him F-M (three nights). With that, we're usually flexible, trying to help each other out and trying to accommodate her schedule. I know it's hard to think of your daughter being without a parent each day, but it is a reality of divorce. Trying to fit both of you in will make it impossible for any of you to establish a real routine with her or for yourselves, I feel.

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