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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Long story short.

 

I dated a girl for 3 and a half years. We broke up very messily but strong feelings remained on both sides. She made some decisions that removed any chance of us being together again in the future but it didn't kill the feelings. Years have passed and about 1 year ago I found out that she and one of my good friends (lived accross the street growing up, went to elementary/middle/high school together, roomed together through college, etc) started dating.

 

It was annoying at first because she and I decided it would be best to go NC indefinitely and it pretty much meant that I couldn't be friends with my friend or she would be back in my life. It also burned me a little that he could start dating her after knowing our strong emotional history.

 

So she was showing up on Facebook in the 'suggested friend' section until I removed her from the list a few times and the stupid program got the point...

 

We had quite a few friends in common so sometimes I would come accross her comments on their pages. They would be mostly general in nature. The strange/annoying thing is that when I made a comment on a friend's page she would make another indirect comment to the same person in the same discussion, not about what I wrote, but being funny in her own way... and most of the time she'd add something about her relationship with my friend... like out of nowhere...

 

I'm wondering if I'm hypersensitive to it, or if she gets some sort of kick out of repeatedly pointing out that she's in a relationship with my friend. Maybe both? Today I garnered that she and he are living together because of one of her random admissions of relationship status.

 

It doesn't burn nearly as much as it used to, but it's still annoying and makes me wonder what's the motivation for her to do that.

 

I'd like to care less, but I get reminders of the whole thing when I hear that my friends back home still hang out with her and what not. I haven't been in love since her so maybe that's a piece of the puzzle.

 

Any ideas/comments?

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You couldn't be friends with this friend because she was friends with him? So now she is dating this guy either because she thinks he is the right guy, or thinking it is just to throw it in your face? Don't waste your energy on this female, she isn't worth it!

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"I haven't been in love since her so maybe that's a piece of the puzzle."

 

I think thats about 80% of the puzzle. And the other 20% aren't in your control so forget about them.

I've always immediately stopped obsessing about any past relationships as soon as I got fascinated by a new girl.

I don't know about you, but I used to be almost scared of vacations or long time of, because I knew I would run out of stuff to do, things to distract me and I'd inevitably start getting in to negative spirals about the past.

 

Its good that you want to care less, you're headed in the right direction.

But it seems impossible for us humans to focus on not doing something. If I tell you to not think about a pink elephant.. well.. he's going to be tap dancing circles around you in your mind.

So focus on something else instead.

 

The solution is to surround yourself with quality female friends and if possible friends with benefits or a quality girlfriend. Though a "cuddle"-friend helps a lot as well.

 

get out there, meet new people.

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