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Can someone please help me figure him out?


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I'm a Bi 19 y/o male, and I have a crush on this guy I met in my college gym class. But I can't tell if he is interested in me. He likes to spend time alone with me. I don't know if he's really straight or if he's a closeted bi 2. What should I do?

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I wouldn't play too many games with this. I had the same problem with a kid in my computer science class. I couldn't read him, so i went through this whole email thing that my friends helped me with and it ended up being this whole ordeal.

 

The best way to handle this is to be straight forward (straight forward----get it?). First, make sure he's ok with gay people in general. That way you know you're not like...in any danger or something. Then bring up sex in general and reveal the fact that you swing both ways. As long as he's ok with gay people, then he should be ok with you being bi. Then, he'll have an opportunity to open up to you.

 

Even if he doesn't, you'll have an opportunity to bring it up yourself. You can say something like:

"What about you? I'm guessing you're an all-girl kinda guy."

If you phrase it like that it may not be as pressured, but he'll have his definite chance to open up. This is a more direct approach that has the same chance of working as the note idea, i think (not that it was a bad idea!)

 

Good luck. tell me how it goes.

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I wouldn't play too many games with this. I had the same problem with a kid in my computer science class. I couldn't read him, so i went through this whole email thing that my friends helped me with and it ended up being this whole ordeal.

 

Oh man been there. Note to anyone: EMAIL IS A BAD IDEA WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE.

 

I was head over heels for a girl a while ago and after a sequence of thoroughly un-enjoyable events I sent her an email intending to sound caring and... went overboard. Needless to say, when reading it in text, she took it the wrong way. That was a bad road to go down.

 

Sorry for my tangent. Moral, I guess, is always approach people like this in person.

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how can I tell if he's interested w/o letting him know I'm interested?

 

You want to know if he's interested but you don't want him to know you're interested. That's not fair, now is it.

 

Here's what you do.

 

Step 1. Bring up the subject of Gay or Bisexual men to see where he stands on it. If he doesn't reveal anything, make it clear that you're normal and cool with it, and once he reveals his position on it, if he's cool with it.

 

Step 2. Let him know you're into guys, (but keep the focus off him, e.g. tell him about some other guy you think is hot, maybe a famous actor or something). And let him know that you assume he's straight, so he doesn't think that you're telling him as a come on.

 

Step 3. If he doesn't freak out knowing you're into guys, and still is comfortable or hopefully even more comfortable hanging out one on one, maybe consider letting him know that you think he's hot, but still present it to him in a way that he realises that you don't think he's interested in you, or guys generally (because he hasn't said anything about him being into guys, or you).

 

Step 4. If he still likes hanging out with you, make your move (verbally, not physically). Proposition him in whatever way you think is fitting. I'm against making moves on people without communicating interest verbally first.

 

Good luck

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Oh man been there. Note to anyone: EMAIL IS A BAD IDEA WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE.

 

I was head over heels for a girl a while ago and after a sequence of thoroughly un-enjoyable events I sent her an email intending to sound caring and... went overboard. Needless to say, when reading it in text, she took it the wrong way. That was a bad road to go down.

 

Sorry for my tangent. Moral, I guess, is always approach people like this in person.

 

Yeah, i learned that the hard way

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(To, Lucy Lou) I know it's really not fair.....but I'm also not really hiding it. If he were to ask me I would tell him that I'm bisexual. I know my logic has flaws lol. But I understand and accept where you're coming from. In fact this has been very helpful thankyou. as well to all others thank you!

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