Jump to content

He wrote me a note this weekend


lumu

Recommended Posts

140+ Cute Love Messages For Him Fro...
140+ Cute Love Messages For Him From The Heart

Well my bf has complied with my request to have communication with me every few days as he wrote me an email telling me that things are finally getting back to normal. He said my emails were the highlights of his days and he would write more later.

 

 

So, at least he is still writing me. I guess that means he's still interested. He still might be married but I am going to have faith in him that he's telling me the truth. My heart wants him. Only my bagage says that he's going to use me.

 

I my heart really does skip a beat when I think of him. I wrote and told him I burn and pine and long for him but I hope i'm not doing that alone because that would really suck. lol

 

I also invited him to go to my friends house warming this friday and offered to drive if he wants to drink or doesn't have gas.

 

Wish me luck on him. Its 50 50 right now

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Lumu,

 

I have just read your other thread, and seriously, this guy is bad news for you. He stood you up and you had to chase him to get him to email you (from what I understand).

 

Why do you think you are settling for crumbs? Do you not think that you are worth more than a few words every few days? Reading your posts, it seems like your self-esteem is low and that you're not saying 'hold on a minute, I deserve better than this!'

 

I dunno, I think that I have been where you are, and it's really not the greatest feeling is it? What does he add to your life that means that you can't let him go? Tough questions, I know, but you seem to be stuck somehow, and accepting pretty shoddy behaviour already from him

 

Take care

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with Honey Pumpkin-- this guy is not interested enough in you and you are doing everything for him. You deserve more than that. Believe me, I've been there-- pursued men that were not pursuing me and it makes your self esteem fizzle and then you keep doing it because that's all you expect.

And now I have this guy that is willing to do anything for me pretty much because he wants to be with me and I value that so much more as a result. It is a completely different type of experience and one you should be looking for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have several offers from other guys from online sites to date. I just don't feel anything from them but revulsion or at best friendship.

 

This guy I feel astounding chemistry for. Yes I do think he's been remiss in not communicating with me.

 

My co-worker said that its normal for guys to shut down when under stress. He asked me to just give him some time and I don't think its unreasonable.

 

He has said he's divorced and He's not dated anyone in more then a year and a half.

 

Yes he's out of money because he's been out of work dealing with family situation out of state for three weeks.

 

I don't have low selfesteem outside of him not communicating with me. Which makes me angry and feel sad.

 

I just don't want to settle for guys who make me feel disgusted because they are willing to go out with me and seem to be nice but not really into the things I am into or that interesting to me.

 

I will admit that my strong feelings for this bf scare the crap out of me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Lumu,

 

I have just read your other thread, and seriously, this guy is bad news for you. He stood you up and you had to chase him to get him to email you (from what I understand).

 

Why do you think you are settling for crumbs? Do you not think that you are worth more than a few words every few days? Reading your posts, it seems like your self-esteem is low and that you're not saying 'hold on a minute, I deserve better than this!'

 

I dunno, I think that I have been where you are, and it's really not the greatest feeling is it? What does he add to your life that means that you can't let him go? Tough questions, I know, but you seem to be stuck somehow, and accepting pretty shoddy behaviour already from him

 

Take care

 

I did actually write him and told him I needed more communication or maybe I should go see other guys. He wrote back that he was sorry and that he sits to write me every night but doesn't think i'd like the emails so he waits to write hoping it will be better.

 

The thing is that for the first month he wrote me all the time. Then all this stuff happened to him and his life got complicated. He says he doesn't want to inflict his drama on me.

 

I am willing to see how he behaves when the "drama" is over. I will reserve my judgement until then.

 

I personally think he is too embarrassed to admit he can't afford to go out with me and isn't talking to me since he cant' really do anything about that right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think a good rule of thumb to have is that it shouldn't feel bad. This guy hasn't been making you feel good. Anyone can write a note. That doesn't mean anything. That just means he typed a few sentences. Every now and then I get an email from this guy I used to date but he could care less about how I feel or what I do. But since I'm with someone else now and have dated other people since then I have perspective.

 

You have to remember this is not the only guy. Maybe you should try other methods to meet guys, get out, get some hobbies where members of the opposite sex attend, go dancing, enjoy life and keep your eyes peeled and be friendly. I think if you keep your options open instead of being focused on this guy you will realize this guy isn't worth all your feeling.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have already committed myself to being exclusive with this bf. I will won't cheat untl I'm sure its over. Its part of me standing behind my promises. Yes he makes me feel wonderful when we are together. Happy.. dancing on air. I also miss him terribly when he's not talking to me.

These emails are only three days apart. Its not like he's not spoken to me for months at a time. We've only had two real dates so far so its in its infancy.

 

I think for a beginning its probably good we've been forced apart to give us perspective.

 

I have very eccletic tastes.. Nerd.. anime.. cartoons.. languages.. art.. computers..sex

 

I am a very fun and creative person and my inclinations aren't and won't ever take me to a place where i would meet guys i'd be attracted to. Unfortunately.

 

thanks for the suggestions

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the man I have been falling in love with doesn't return after this crises is over.. i am perfectly willing to walk away and look elsewhere.

 

the man of the first month is the man of my dreams but if he is gone then there isn't anything else to do. I just think he's worth giving a chance to see if he's still in there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the man I have been falling in love with doesn't return after this crises is over.. i am perfectly willing to walk away and look elsewhere.

 

the man of the first month is the man of my dreams but if he is gone then there isn't anything else to do. I just think he's worth giving a chance to see if he's still in there.

 

how can you possibly be faling in love after two dates?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have known him for a two months online and two RL dates. I think that's enough time to know the chemistry is there and I'm falling. Its the quickest I've ever started falling but I guess it happens sometimes.

 

and Redhearts, what good is being in a relationship if you start off not trusting someone? If you have to start off that way then why bother at all? You have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

My life doesn't read like its written on the official papers. Papers lie just like people do.

 

You've got to have faith and trust to be ready for a relationship. I just don't understand why the comments are about me having low self esteem because I'm williing to give a guy a break and see if he's a frog or a prince.

 

If he's a frog then I move on and kiss the next frog. If he's a prince then I've started off with trust and belief in him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the man I have been falling in love with doesn't return after this crises is over.. i am perfectly willing to walk away and look elsewhere.

 

the man of the first month is the man of my dreams but if he is gone then there isn't anything else to do. I just think he's worth giving a chance to see if he's still in there.

 

Do you know how often I hear this from people? Everyone's first month with someone is amazing. You are both on your best behavior. When guys get like this guy is getting with you, it means he is either not interested in you anymore or is seeing someone else. The reason he has not cut it off with you is because its comforting to know you always have someone to fall back on. Get out now!

 

This is something you are going to have to find out for yourself. Nobody really ever takes anyones advice in situations like this. Just know that you are wasting your time with this loser.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you know how often I hear this from people? Everyone's first month with someone is amazing. You are both on your best behavior. When guys get like this guy is getting with you, it means he is either not interested in you anymore or is seeing someone else. The reason he has not cut it off with you is because its comforting to know you always have someone to fall back on. Get out now!

 

This is something you are going to have to find out for yourself. Nobody really ever takes anyones advice in situations like this. Just know that you are wasting your time with this loser.

 

I know that he's broke. I know that he's been having problems with his kids and his ex and he almost lost his job when he had to go out of town.

 

I think it is reasonable for me not to be the first and the last or even on his mind at all right now. Hell if I were indanger of losing my job and broke I wouldn't be thinking about him either.

 

I gave him the option of being out and just being friends. If he were with someone else and just wanted to keep me around then why not just jump on that and say yeah lets be friends and try again at a later date.

 

Sure its possible what you are saying. If it is then I move on. I am willing to give him time but not an infinite amount of time.

 

I'm still out doing stuff by myself. I just have very strong feelings of lust like and love for him that I don't want to walk away from yet. I am willing to give it a chance.

 

If it doesn't I walk away and i'm a three months behind on searching elsewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like he has alot of baggage. Getting into a new relationship should compliment your life, not add drama. This is waaaay to early in a relationship to have to deal with this.

 

It seems that no matter what, you are going to give him a chance. So I propose this. Keep your options open. Don't date exclusively.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like he has alot of baggage. Getting into a new relationship should compliment your life, not add drama. This is waaaay to early in a relationship to have to deal with this.

 

It seems that no matter what, you are going to give him a chance. So I propose this. Keep your options open. Don't date exclusively.

 

Well he did say he didn't expect me to have to put up with his drama. I shouldn't have to he said. He didn't want to get me embroiled with it.

 

He said his thoughts are on me but his life is just crazy right now. He said he'd understand but he wants to keep me for himself.

 

I know I shouldn't have agreed to be exclusive so soon in our relationship but honestly he's the only guy i've spoken to that I even wanted to meet in real life.

 

I'm not dead. I'm still going out doing stuff by myself or with friends. I'm always friendly and outgoing. If he doesn't step up his game then he may come out to play and find i've met someone else who is ready to be in a relationship.

 

Figure I'll give him a month. That should be enough to get a couple of paychecks and see what he's really wants out of life

 

I just don't cheat on a guy if I agreed to be exclusive. I expect the same from him so its fair I suppose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're taking "trust" to an extreme. Of course to be out there dating you have to have a level of trust - otherwise no one would agree to spend time with each other, let alone in private. You are ignoring that there are degrees of trust - you trust consistent with what makes sense in a particular relationship. And I agree with those who are saying that you are throwing yourself at this guy, making promises to a near stranger who you know has baggage and had to be reminded, in the beginning of a relationship - to send you emails? It's the degree of trust that is the concern, not that there is trust.

 

What you are doing is very safe, actually -- emotionally I mean - you get to write how you "pine" and "burn" and get all caught up in the intensity of these feelings - while not having to deal with him much at all in real life while you "wait" for him to resolve all his baggage (assuming any of that is true).

 

Don't let yourself be under the misconception that his "I don't want to subject you to all this drama" is altruistic - it's self-serving, because it gives him the excuse to have sporadic contact with you, put little effort into seeing you, knowing that when he throws you a few scraps of communication, he'll keep you hooked and ready for the next sexual encounter. Just my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its possible. He wrote me tonight to say that he can't come to the party. He is filming his next poe film the next two weekends in big bear.

 

I wrote and said.. I wonder what kind of trouble i can get into in the next two weekends.

 

Then I wrote and said that he sounds like he needs space for his craft and I probably won't see him until he's finished shooting in a couple of weeks so be safe.

 

This says to me I've got the next two weekends to do what I like

 

I'm going to the party on friday and I have a meeting on sunday. There is a dinner dance on wens of next week I was thinking of attending. Then I can see if there is a person who wants to do something the following weekend as a friend.

 

I won't write to him for the two weeks and see what he does. I won't be waiting around for his emails because i've got a lot to do for the next two weeks anyway.

 

He's got to work to get me back. Believe me he does. To me its like we are starting at ground zero again and he's got to woo me.

 

If he can't be bothered then neither can I lol. I've got a lot of guys who just want sex. If I just wanted that I could have my pick of them.

 

I'm looking for that dare to be great relatioship. I'm willing to work for it. If its meant to be with this bf then he'll put his money where his mouth is if its not then he'll keep fumbling the ball. I do agree that I am not getting enough face time to learn all of the little things about him. That is what I find disturbing. I want to learn and unravel him but I'm not getting the opportunity.

 

Really its up to him if he wants to be in a relationship. I know what I want but he may not and like I said i'll wait for a time but I won't wait forever.

 

I trust my heart. I'm not going to second guess what it wants. I'm going with what it dictates I do. That way I won't have any regrets of not trying.

 

I can tell you that it doesn't feel emotionally safe to me. I have always been this way. I just know who I want to be with. My last bf I was with long distance for a year before I decided I trusted him enough to let him in to my heart and love him. It went horribly wrong and I moved accross the country to be with him. He still writes to me. You can't predict no matter how long you know someone. No matter how compatitable they are if its going to work. There is no too soon or too late. Its all chemistry and timing. I think this bf and my timing maybe just bad right now. It will be a pity if its true because i've never felt so strongly for a man before. I will say that I only love a man if he wants me back. Well i can honestly say i've only been in love once and this maybe the scond time i'm falling. I do know that I stopped loving my last bf when he stopped wanting me then everything fell apart.

 

I am hopeful but sad that the bf hasn't stepped up to secure his place in my heart. I do think it will be his loss when I'm gone if he keeps going this way

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't even know what to add anymore. I think most posters have already said what I wanted to say.

Lumu, I'm gonna be harsh here, I hope you take this in right spirit, but I see your replies to him as some 16 yr old, foolishly romantic and deeply infatuated girl, with raging hormones would write to a man. You are actually asking him to treat you badly, throw an odd crumb at you and you are telling him that you are so starved that you'll still survive on whatever he throws at you. Why? don't you want more from a guy? don't you think you are capable of getting more? don't you think you deserve more in a love relationship? Don't you want a man to see you as a loving caring woman, to come home to, someone he can enjoy his conversations with, he can go for a walk with, he sees a future with? or someone he can call n emotionally n physically abuse whenever he wants n move on to the next one? Stop with those stupid romantic emails.

Lumu, get a backbone, girl. You can want more out of your love relationship with a man. You can get anything n everything you want. But for that you have to 1st start seeing yourself as that woman and work on developing into that woman, dear. Men don't respect a girl that has no respect for herself. I highly recommend that you read Why men marry b*t*hes by Sherry Argov.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes i do want a man to come home to me and respect me. I am who I am and I'm a romantic and I won't be ashamed or apologies for that. I wrote him and told him that I guess I will give him some space and be safe.

 

I had asked him to come with me to a house warming party for my best friend right now. He said he was filming the next two weekends so he couldn't come.

 

I feel like i'm putting all the effort into this and he's coasting so I'm not writing to him again and if he is really interested he'll write or do something and if he's not then so be it.

 

I'm a compassionate and understanding woman but I'm not a doormat. I expect to be one of two people in a relationship. Not the only one.

 

Thanks for the advice but I think you are all taking my romantic nature as weakness and its not. I'm just looking for that romantic guy who is my counterpoint.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the way you are treating yourself has anything to do with being "a romantic" but I think you tell yourself that as an excuse to be in this type of situation where you act like a doormat, can pine away, but you don't really have to be emotionally intimate with the other person, because you know deep down he is unavailable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the way you are treating yourself has anything to do with being "a romantic" but I think you tell yourself that as an excuse to be in this type of situation where you act like a doormat, can pine away, but you don't really have to be emotionally intimate with the other person, because you know deep down he is unavailable.

 

 

I don't get how I am a doormat. I am going out with people. I'm not sitting at home. I have a lot of things going on. I have my son. I'm learning to play the bagpipes. Just because my heart wants someone who maybe unavailable doesn't mean its going to get it or its going to work out.

 

You hope for the best in any relationship. I am a caring giving person. I like to do for others. I have a lot of empathy for people. I would do for anyone what I am doing for him. Its just on top of that I like him and we have great chemistry.

 

I am by no means escaping intimacy. I just came out of a four year relationship three months ago. Its possible that this bf is my rebound guy. I just think its a pity if it doesn't work out because the potential for something great is there. However, that being said, it means that both of us have to feel the same way. I am not convinced he does so I'm not writing to him anymore until he either steps up and does something or goes away.

 

I am just honest in my writing and i don't do anything in half measures. I'm very intense. That tends to scare most guys away. If it does so be it. Better they leave earlier then later. I once again do not apologies or make excuses for me being the way I am. Its just how I am put together. You may not be the same way. Yes it does mean I run the risk of being taken advantage of by people of low character. Eventually, they will show their true colors and I move on to find someone who can appreciate the wonderful gift that I offer of me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lumu, if you've come out of a four year rels only 3 months ago, perhaps you should use this time to focus on yourself. That means you started dating this guy only 1 month after your break-up?

 

It doesn't seem healthy to be declaring love for someone you have only met twice. Love is based on knowing each other and building a bond and this isn't something that happens in only 2 meetings or 2 months. How do you know how he will react when you are upset? Or what he's like when something makes him angry?

 

He doesn't sound like he's interested in you. I hope you meet someone who is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am taking time for myself. I was falling for the guy. I haven't fallen yet but I am lusting and longing for him and pining a bit.

 

 

I am looking for someone to be my forever person. I know what I want in a guy. I know I want to be married and have kids. I'm not a kid. I do act like one and am as innocent as one. I don't see this as a negative. I see it as one of my pluses.

 

I am a very sensual passionate person but I have to be emotionally into the person to open up. I am as surprised as you to find myself falling for this guy after a month of a lot of Internet messages. and two dates.

 

I've never met anyone who has anything in common with me before. This guy has the same interests. Has studied the same thing in school. He's been through a marriage and divorce and has kids. He seems to have the same sex drive I have. We like comicbooks and video games and Gaelic language. The lists of what we have in common goes on and on. I can really help him forward his film career with my contacts from school.

 

I shot my films with the Blair Witch guys and did their logos and editing on different projects and I have classmates who are working in the industry for the studios direct to video.

 

I think he's a remarkable film maker. I am an animator and could help him do his cgi stuff. I've been a professor of Maya and am starting up the new video game animation class at the local community college.

 

I have done my doctoral work and I'm studying the bagpipe and gaelic on top of my Japanese, Spanish, French and German.

 

I am also writing my first novel. I don't think you need to worry about me working on me. I am also tackling a new workout schedule to get myself back to my goal weight.

 

I'm doing fine. Its really his loss if he's not into me anymore. Just a pity.

 

Also love doesn't have anything to do with time. I was married for 8 years and never loved him. I was with my best friend for eight years and only loved him as a friend and I loved him that way the instant I met him.

 

My ex bf I waited a year before deciding how I felt for him. It didn't help as he changed dramatically six months later. I firmly believe love is either there or it isn't. You don't grow into it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I won't write to him for the two weeks and see what he does. I won't be waiting around for his emails because i've got a lot to do for the next two weeks anyway.

 

He's got to work to get me back. Believe me he does. To me its like we are starting at ground zero again and he's got to woo me.

 

If he can't be bothered then neither can I lol. I've got a lot of guys who just want sex. If I just wanted that I could have my pick of them.

 

I'm looking for that dare to be great relatioship. I'm willing to work for it. If its meant to be with this bf then he'll put his money where his mouth is if its not then he'll keep fumbling the ball. I do agree that I am not getting enough face time to learn all of the little things about him. That is what I find disturbing. I want to learn and unravel him but I'm not getting the opportunity.

 

Really its up to him if he wants to be in a relationship. I know what I want but he may not and like I said i'll wait for a time but I won't wait forever

 

Funny, this is exactly what you said in your other threads, and then you pursued him. I don't understand this????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...