Jump to content

Not sure what to do... please advise...


Sunkist08
Is My Relationship Over - Signs
Is My Relationship Over - Signs

Recommended Posts

My husband and I have been married for almost 2.5 years. With in the last year, I've noticed that I don't seem to be as "in to him" as I was when we first got married. I'm just not interested in having sex with him anymore. Things had become very "vanilla" early in the relationship, which I contributed to his lack of experience in comparison to my experience. I've tried several times to spice things up, but he shys away every time. He's completely against using any toys.

 

He has a bit of an internet addiction. Not porn, just the internet in general. He will spend his entire day off on the computer listening to music and chatting. We'll sit and watch tv together for a bit, then he'll get up and go back to the computer. That also seems to cut into our sex life. And when he is interested in sex, he's not very sensual, it's more like an "I'm horny.. let's get this over with." I haven't had a man made orgasm in years! He says I take too long to orgasm, and he gets bored with it. There's no foreplay, which I've tried to explain would maybe help my situation. But, no matter how many times I've tried talking to him about it, he just shuts down.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I love him, but I don't want to be in a sexless marriage. I mean, I'm sure there could be sex, but I want it to be pleasurable for both of us, and it just seems like he's not willing to put out the effort.

 

Any advice would be helpful... thanks in advance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We tried marriage counseling once before, but he really wouldn't talk about anything to the counselor. When we had our individual sessions, she told me that he wouldn't talk to her when he was there for his session...

 

I've considered giving him an ultimatum... I just don't know...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To explore another direction.....

 

I wonder if he simply has a lack of sexual knowledge, but, being "the MAN", is uncomfortable with admitting it.

 

Sex manuals are useful and informative, but kinda boring. I'm going to suggest something different:

 

Nina Hartley is a porn star (yeah, yeah, get past it) and a Nurse. She has made a series of informative, (and a little titillating) videos that you both could watch together.

There is also another series called Better Sex.

 

Both are available in the Internet.

 

Both provide instruction as well as demonstration of all kinds of sexual topics.

 

It's something you can try.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm the "freak" in the relationship. He flips out when I come home with videos and toys and won't talk to me for days. He says he doesn't mind me using it, he just doesn't want to be around when I do. I've suggested sexual counseling, but after the whole marriage counseling fiasco, I know that's just going to be a waste of money.

 

I wonder if he simply has a lack of sexual knowledge, but, being "the MAN", is uncomfortable with admitting it.

 

He has said before that he's very uncomfortable trying new things, but even when I take baby steps, he shuts down. I don't know what else to do anymore. When we first got together, he said he had been with at least 3 other women... about 2 months ago I found out that wasn't true, and he's only been with 1 other woman besides me. While I'm proud of him for that, it just seems like that would be good information to have had before I married him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You started your post about your lack of interest, not his. The issues of him looking at porn, etc seem like an addendum.

 

I don't think you are happy, your husband's internet activities notwithstanding. I think you should tell us more about how YOU are feeling, what your thoughts are. I think we can help more if you give us more of a glimpse into what you are feeling as a wife.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...