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Losing interest . . .??


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I've been dating this guy for about 6months. He's been flirting with me and trying to get a date out of me for about a year now.

I finally gave in and gave him his long desired "date". Ever since our first date, we've been inseparable.

 

Our beginning stages were a bit cliche. We went on dates, met each others friends, went as far as even meeting one anothers families. All in all, it was disgustingly cute and blissful.

 

Recently, I find us not making the same attempts to spend time with one another. And when we do spend time. Its usually intimacy at his place, and as soon as we've both had our fixes. . . we go our separate ways. He lives his life, and I live mine. Where as before, we would spend time with each other outside the bedroom, still have separate lives, AND be able do things together.

 

I feel now that he's gotten comfortable and feels that he doesn't need to put the same effort he did in the beginning. I understand the different stages in a relationship. Okay, maybe our honeymoon stages are over, but why do I feel like he's lost interest??

 

Am I still trying to hold on to the beginning stages? Should I embrace this "comfort" that he feels . . . or has he taken me for granted and lost interest??

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well is the way things are going mutual? you said once "we" get our fixes which makes me sound like it is...

 

seems to be that you guys are A- just losing interest in each other or B- the lack of dating having fun is getting you guys down.

 

i suggest having a talk to him and just saying "do you feel that our relationship has gotten a lil stale?"

 

if you guys want to work at it, work at it. but its also no harm just to forget it all together since its only been 6 months.... who needs to work at something just 6 months into a relationship? not me

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Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of girl that feeds off of the other persons energy. I say unfortunately because it sometimes means, shutting my true feelings out.

 

I guess I'm a bit guarded, maybe a bit too practical . . but I can't seem to let myself go.

I want to spend more time with him, I still want all those things we shared in the beginning. But, I'm not willing to feel the hurt or embarrassment of rejection. In result, if I feel that he doesn't want to "hang out" or I feel him to be a bit cold, I mirror that.

 

should I let go of my fears a little bit despite my feelings of him losing interest? Show more affection and desire to still want to go out?? Or should I just talk to him and let him know of my concerns? Cuz after all, I maybe just paranoid.

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personally i think one year is *way* too long to be chasing a girl. I think a month is more realistic, two months max.

 

But 12 months? that's an eternity to be putting in so much effort. I wouldn't be surprised if the long chase made things anti-climatic for him.

ahhh.... I was affraid of that.

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Bingo!!!!! My thoughts exactly

 

I forgot to mention, I was in a relationship and wasnt able to give him his date. I also waited 6months before dating anyone. And when I decided to date, I went on a date with him.

 

Anyway, what should I do now?? talk to him? let it go?

SOS

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I don't know if we ever "planned" our dates. But we definitely were out at least once maybe twice a week.

 

did we over do it? under do it?? haha

 

I'm paranoid i think. . .

 

No, sorry I meant now how often do you suggest activities for dates?

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I would not do the 'talk.'

 

The way I see it (and maybe the way he would see it) is that he did his part, chased and chased, and put in a lot of effort. So now maybe it would be your turn? Plan some fun dates, do something out of the ordinary, etc. Don't avoid the bedroom but make sure something gets done before you actually go there.

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personally i think one year is *way* too long to be chasing a girl. I think a month is more realistic, two months max.

 

But 12 months? that's an eternity to be putting in so much effort. I wouldn't be surprised if the long chase made things anti-climatic for him.

 

I totally second that.

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I don't think the year of chasing counts for very much considering that he was chasing her for 6 months while she was in another relationship and then he was chasing her when she was trying to recover from the relationship. In other words, he was chasing her when he knew she was completely unavailable and then was trying to heal. Now that he has her, the thrill has worn off because there is no longer the excitement of the forbidden. I think you need to talk to him and find out what is going on...if he cares about you then he will agree to work together to bring the spice back into the relationship and it will revolve around dating rather than the bedroom. If you want to continue this relationship then you will need to communicate with him and not feel uncomfortable bringing up how you are feeling.

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Thank you for your reply. You've been most helpful.

 

 

 

I don't think the year of chasing counts for very much considering that he was chasing her for 6 months while she was in another relationship and then he was chasing her when she was trying to recover from the relationship. In other words, he was chasing her when he knew she was completely unavailable and then was trying to heal. Now that he has her, the thrill has worn off because there is no longer the excitement of the forbidden. I think you need to talk to him and find out what is going on...if he cares about you then he will agree to work together to bring the spice back into the relationship and it will revolve around dating rather than the bedroom. If you want to continue this relationship then you will need to communicate with him and not feel uncomfortable bringing up how you are feeling.
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