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WAY too soon


stranded247
TikTok Advice For Relationships Suc...
TikTok Advice For Relationships Sucks

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Okay so I posted earlier about being cynical about going on this date with this guy I met online. Anyway I went in the end, don't worry he was just a teenage boy like I told you all. The date was alright but I didn't want to spend the whole day with him so I made my excuses and left after about four hours. He was really nice I guess. Anyway last night I signed online and he started asking me how my first impression of him was which I thought was a strange question but I just kept it short and said "it was good". And then he started telling me how lovely he thought I was and how I was even prettier than he thought I'd be. All very flattering but somehow I felt it was a little too much information. And then out of the blue he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Firstly he asked me this question over MSN, just no, to me that shows a lack of maturity.

And so I said to him that I was flattered but it was way too soon for me to make such a hasty decision and that maybe if we met up a few more times I might grow on the idea. I said this at 1AM at night, my head was a little fuzzy.

I woke up this morning and I just hmmm I don't think its a good idea. I told my friend about it last night and she said he sounded so adorable and he looked cute. I mean I've wanted a boyfriend for ages but this really scares me. Its way too soon, I barely know this guy and to be honest there are quite a few holes in the plan.

1. He lives in the countryside about an hour away from me by train (british rail is very expensive if I went out with him I would be permanantly bankrupted by train ticket expenditure).

2. He's 16 which is a year younger than me and makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

3. We met on the internet, I don't think I could bring myself to tell everyone where we actually met.

4. The idea of kissing him when he has braces just scares me lol.

5. I've always wanted to have a boyfriend who I could just call up on a whim and hang out with, I wouldn't be able to do this easily with him.

6. Although he's cute I just feel he doesn't have much substance as a person, I know my comments are harsh but I feel like I should stay true to myself, and i'm really not that picky but I just want to be with someone interesting and although he's nice and talkative he doesn't interest me the way other guys have. Basically there is no spark.

Do you guys think i'm being far too harsh and should give him a chance? I just feel like I have quite an acute sense of judgement and I can tell what someone is going to be like or what they are like quite quickly and he just doesn't interest me. And although I would like a boyfriend I would rather stay single than jump into a relationship that doesn't feel right to me and makes me feel like I am compromising myself. ](*,)

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I would make it clear to him that you want to go on several more dates before making the decision about bf/gf and see him a few more times before you decide that he doesn't have substance. If he persists in being clingy then I would stop contact but if he respects your need to get to know him at a reasonable pace then sure see him one or two more times and see if a spark develops.

 

As far as the meeting on line thing, I think you know that is silly and if you need to you can lie to people as to how you meet.

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Well I do think you are being way too harsh. Its pretty messed up to say someone doesn't have substance... Obviously some people just don't click with eachother, but if you really think you know enough about this poor 16 year old after meeting him once to judge him like that then you are mad.

On the other hand, it just sounds like you are considering him because you want a boyfriend and that he is sort of cute. I don't think that is going to cut it. You are clearly not attracted to this kid and will probably just end up hurting him eventually. Good luck!

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Well I do think you are being way too harsh. Its pretty messed up to say someone doesn't have substance... Obviously some people just don't click with eachother, but if you really think you know enough about this poor 16 year old after meeting him once to judge him like that then you are mad.

On the other hand, it just sounds like you are considering him because you want a boyfriend and that he is sort of cute. I don't think that is going to cut it. You are clearly not attracted to this kid and will probably just end up hurting him eventually. Good luck!

 

Yeah sorry substance isn't the right word, I meant he doesn't seem like a very interesting person. Maybe I'm wrong.

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