Jump to content

What is his deal? Did I do the right thing? Help, please!


blisa25

Recommended Posts

Hi guys!

 

So just to give you all a little bit of background...

 

I dated my ex for about 9 months, things were great in the beginning but the last few months were pretty bad. We broke up for two months and have now been dating again for a little over two months. Over the past two months we have moved very slowly, being cautious not to fall back into the same routine that didn't work for us before. Things have been going great and I feel like we're forming an even stronger bond that we've ever had before and really learning to respect and love one another the way we should.

 

That said, there is one problem. Even though we have both agreed that we are not and do not intend to see anyone else, and he says that he loves me very much, he will not acknowledge that we are back together. He says he knows we are back in a relationship but doesn't want to call it anything because it scares him. He's afraid that if we make our reconciliation official, things will just go back to the way things were before we broke up.

 

I have tried to just let it go and be patient, but like I said, it's been two months we've been dating again and we have agreed to be exclusive. So what's the deal? Why isn't he willing to make it official? I feel like he should be happy and WANT to tell people we're back together. Am I being ridiculous for wanting that?

 

So anyways, today I told him that until he is willing to acknowledge that we are back together to other people, that I am going to be open to dating other guys should the opportunity present itself. He was really sad and hurt but still didn't budge on the issue. The best he could say was, "I hope I can get my head straight before I lose you." I know he's not interested in seeing anyone else but me but I just can't wait anymore!! Am I doing the right thing here?? Your thoughts and advice please!!

 

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, and welcome to eNotAlone.

 

Don't you think that telling him you are open to dating other guys is also saying that your love for him isn't very strong? It's one thing to say that you want to end the relationship if he won't commit - but to say you want to see other people isn't exactly affirming that you think the relationship is strong.

 

It is sort of proving his point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for the replies. They do help. I'm just so confused right now. I love him so much and I know he loves me. I just suggested to him that we take a break so he can really figure out what he wants but he didn't like that idea. He feels that everything between us has been going so well that he doesn't see the need to change anything. I don't want to lose him but I also don't want to be strung along for months and end up getting hurt by someone who can never fully commit like so many other women I've seen. I also don't want to push him into doing something that he isn't ready to do but I feel like I'm reaching my limit. I'm not really even interested in dating other guys but I thought maybe if I told him that it would get him thinking about whether or not he really wants to be with me. Perhaps I was wrong. Am I placing too much value on the need to have a "label"? Ugggg...this is making me sad...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...