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When you live with someone and have pets with them and break up


scared and alone
Deal With Their Abandonment Issues
Deal With Their Abandonment Issues

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I've gone thru this. My ex and I had two dogs together. She had a dog before we met and we got another dog together. When we broke up, I took the one we had gotten together and she kept the other. Our split, though difficult, was amicable. We're both able to see each of the dogs when we wish to.

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I am in this scenario right now. Ex broke up with me after 5 yrs, living for 3 and a dog for 1 1/2 years. I bought her the dog. Well I guess us the dog. I am moving out today and she is keeping the dog for 2 weeks. Then when I get my new place in 2 weeks ill take the dog for 2 or 3 weeks. We havnt thought past that point yet.

 

The trouble is if you keep getting hurt by seeing your ex or hearing from her, then sharing the dog will be a big problem. Since my ex left for a friends house just over 2 weeks ago, I get a text every second day about the dog and who is watching her and who is home after work to let her out etc etc. Now that I am movng to a friends tonight for 2 weeks and she is moving back to the house for a month until her place is ready, I am leaving her the dog.

 

If it really comes down to it and it is too hurtful to have to keep talking to her, then I will keep the dog. My argument is that I paid for it. It was a Valentines gift to her.

 

I hope this helps. Sharing at first will help you both as you have a furry friend to keep you company but in the long run I think a decision has to be made.

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I completely agree with T. Having the dog with me has been a godsend for dealing with the loss of the relationship. He's great company to have. On the other hand, having to maintain contact while being broken up is hard. There will come a point where you have to put an end to it if you can't handle it. At least until you're healed. I too bought him as a gift for my ex.

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If you can create a long term schedule such as you share the dog for 3 weeks at a time or a month to start, it will help limit contact. With my situation, being at our home still, my ex would keep requesting the dog every couple days or asking if I could take her etc. Then with each exchange of the dog, there would be texts about what time and heads up im coming over. And Ill have her back at this time. Almost like we were sharing our freakin kid. I had to keep leaving the house cause I didnt want to see her. Hurt too much.

 

But now we are going to try the 2 week thing to start which I would recommend to you. That way you can go 12 or 13 days before you have to text to determine which time to pick up the dog. It allows for very little contact and a chance to have your pet keep you company too when its your turn.

 

But yes you should eventually make a decision for the future. How do you do that? Im still working on a solution.

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Whelp, in answer to your question about 'making a decision', my ex kind of made mine for us. She had asked how I liked having the dog, to which I replied, 'it's nice, he keeps me company'. She then asked how I would feel about keeping him indefinitely. She said that it's much less stressful having one dog to care for, other than the two. I agreed to keep the dog and that was that. She hasn't seen him and hasn't asked to see him. Although, if ever I need to have someone look after the dog for times when I would need it (ie, going away), she would be more than willing. If it's too difficult to maintain even just a little contact, then making a decision as to who gets to keep the dog full time is the only option.

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I don't know what I'd do without my little one. She's my world right now. He loves her just as much...she was like our kid. But...she's mine, and we don't stay in contact. The day we split, he picked her up, and kissed her for awhile...then left.

 

She loved him so much. She'd sit by the glass door, watching for him to come home from work everyday. She knew his schedule. It was heartbreaking. Then...one day, she just stopped. She knew he wasn't coming home again.

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I don't know what I'd do without my little one. She's my world right now. He loves her just as much...she was like our kid. But...she's mine, and we don't stay in contact. The day we split, he picked her up, and kissed her for awhile...then left.

 

She loved him so much. She'd sit by the glass door, watching for him to come home from work everyday. She knew his schedule. It was heartbreaking. Then...one day, she just stopped. She knew he wasn't coming home again.

Damn woman that is sad!!!! What kind of dog is it?

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She loved him so much. She'd sit by the glass door, watching for him to come home from work everyday. She knew his schedule. It was heartbreaking. Then...one day, she just stopped. She knew he wasn't coming home again.

 

When I read that, I have to admit I welled up a bit(kinda reminded me of those stories where the dog waits forever for its dead owner to return..so sad)...but then I stoped for a second and started laughing... Its a very sad story...but then I realized your dog did a better job moving on than I did and it made me chuckle a bit.

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When I read that, I have to admit I welled up a bit(kinda reminded me of those stories where the dog waits forever for its dead owner to return..so sad)...but then I stoped for a second and started laughing... Its a very sad story...but then I realized your dog did a better job moving on than I did and it made me chuckle a bit.

 

lol it's true. I think they have a better sense then we do as to when to give up. It took her about 2 weeks to finally realize she wouldn't see him again. I truly believe it broke her heart, and of course she didn't know why he wasn't here.

I'm just glad she doesn't sit there and do that anymore. I don't know who it hurt more...her or me.

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My ex and I had 2 cats together. One was technically "mine" and the other his. But, those cats loved each other SO much I couldn't stand to separate them. I let him keep them for the good of the cats. I miss my Nibblet and Zellie though.

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lol it's true. I think they have a better sense then we do as to when to give up. It took her about 2 weeks to finally realize she wouldn't see him again. I truly believe it broke her heart, and of course she didn't know why he wasn't here.

I'm just glad she doesn't sit there and do that anymore. I don't know who it hurt more...her or me.

 

2 weeks, wow. Would your Yorkie be willing to share her secret or Maybe collaborate with SuperDave on an article. lol

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