Cheating in an open relationship

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I would almost think it would be harder to make it work in an open relationship because it, by definition, is half-cheating. Monogamous relationships involve two partners alone. When one cheats, they have to decide if they want the one and only partner, or keep playing the field.

 

Open relationships involve two partners and applications/reviews for additional partners. When one cheats, they might feel resentment for the "approval process" and continue to sleep with whom they please since sleeping with others is not a problem.

[rosephase]

I couldn't get over it because it would break the trust and that trust is something I hold very high in a relationship. I don't know how you'd work it out? Working it out would just give him verification that he can get away with it.

 

I don't think the fact that this is an open relationship has anything to do at all with the situation. There are rules to a monogomous relationship just like yours. They are just different. When the rules are broken it breaks the trust that you had.

 

So in my mind trust isn't about your partner it's about you. You are the one who gives trust and takes it away. You are the one who decides it's broken or not. And to trust someone isn't _knowing_ they won't do anything wrong it's _trusting_ and that is all inside of you. I can choose to trust someone. Even if they have done things that where hard in the past, it's all up to me if trust is broken.

[rosephase]

I would almost think it would be harder to make it work in an open relationship because it, by definition, is half-cheating. Monogamous relationships involve two partners alone. When one cheats, they have to decide if they want the one and only partner, or keep playing the field.

 

Open relationships involve two partners and applications/reviews for additional partners. When one cheats, they might feel resentment for the "approval process" and continue to sleep with whom they please since sleeping with others is not a problem.

 

Can you explain that again? I didn't follow the last part.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

So in my mind trust isn't about your partner it's about you. You are the one who gives trust and takes it away. You are the one who decides it's broken or not. And to trust someone isn't _knowing_ they won't do anything wrong it's _trusting_ and that is all inside of you. I can choose to trust someone. Even if they have done things that where hard in the past, it's all up to me if trust is broken.

 

Trust is partially about your decision to trust, but the person must earn some of that- it can't be given away completely freely. For example, would you trust a serial killer not to harm you?

[rosephase]

Trust is partially about your decision to trust, but the person must earn some of that- it can't be given away completely freely. For example, would you trust a serial killer not to harm you?

 

the odd thing is it can be given away. People are just scared of getting hurt because they trusted the wrong person. I guess I would just rather get hurt now and again then not trusting people in my life.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Can you explain that again? I didn't follow the last part.

 

Sure. I will use a man so my theoretical makes more sense.

 

The only difference between and is making sure your gf approves of the other woman you want to date.

 

When trying to work through. a betrayal in an open relationship, which you have suggested might be easier, it seems to me that the man may be more tempted to cheat again *Compared to a man in a monogamous relationship* because the only thing stopping him is your approval of her. It doesn't matter that he sleeps with other women, which is not the case in monogamous relationships.

 

The open relationship man can "cheat" he just has to "ask" first. So the relationship may face betrayal numerous times and ultimately collapse.

 

Make a little more sense? I know it's wordy.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

the odd thing is it can be given away. People are just scared of getting hurt because they trusted the wrong person. I guess I would just rather get hurt now and again then not trusting people in my life.

 

Right- but everything has to be within reason. We should start out giving everyone a little of your trust, and once they prove themselves, you give more.

[ghost69]

are you 100% sure you like being in an open relationship? i've seen several of your threads where you ask questions about it.