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response to my asking for more communication


lumu

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I wrote the guy i've been seeing an email after a week of not hearing from him and him not responding to my voice mail about our missed date on friday.

 

I told him I had strong feelings but I guess he's not ready for a relationship right now because of whatever family ex money etc. I would like to be friend and hope that when things are going better and he's ready for romance we can try again. I said I need a lot of communication in a relationship and ours has been lacking that recently. I said to just tell me what is going on. I am very understanding but I cant' be if I hear nothing. I proposed that maybe he just wants me to see other guys now and if I didn't get any response I'll assume the later to be the case.

 

He wrote back saying that things are crazy in his life right now. Every night he sits to write me something I don't want to hear. Then he stops himself because he thinks tomorrow maybe better. Its his family his kids his job even his ex but he doesn't want to involve me in his drama. He says part of him wants to let me go see other men but the other part wants to keep me to himself.

 

He said he wants me to just have patience with him. He understands if this is too much drama for me and he was sorry about the lack of communication. Believe him he's thinking about me.

 

 

I had promised to be exclusive with him. We've only had two dates though. Is he giving me an out on my promise? I wrote back and told him I need to hear from him more often. not every day but every few days. He can vent if he likes. Just so I know he's alive and thinking of me.

 

I am thinking I should say that perhaps we should take a month and then see how things are going for him.

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I think his response was rather selfish and quite honestly I dont believe he wants you to stick around but didn't have the guts to tell you, flat out. He is not ready for an exclusive relationship, I would move on from this one.

 

Its only been 2 dates - better to let go now then later...

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Since you made it known to him how you feel, I would wait and let him make the next move.

 

I think that it's way too soon to be talking about being exclusive, after only going out on two dates together.

 

I'm sure it's not easy waiting for him to call, but you've done your part, now it's up to him.

 

Take care...

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You've only been on two dates with him and you already want to be exclusive with him??? How much do you actually know about this guy? I don't know but like what the other posters are saying, he doesn't seem like he's ready for a relationship right now and there seems to be too much going on in his life right now. If I were you I'd probably try to meet other men . . . I don't like to deal with other people's drama! especially when it's so early on in the relationship . . . it's just not worth it!

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You've only been on two dates with him and you already want to be exclusive with him??? How much do you actually know about this guy? I don't know but like what the other posters are saying, he doesn't seem like he's ready for a relationship right now and there seems to be too much going on in his life right now. If I were you I'd probably try to meet other men . . . I don't like to deal with other people's drama! especially when it's so early on in the relationship . . . it's just not worth it!

 

 

He asked it after the first date. I don't want to cheat on him so I was hoping he'd release me and we could be friends

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He asked it after the first date. I don't want to cheat on him so I was hoping he'd release me and we could be friends

 

Yeah this is alittle off the wall, Im sorry You should release yourself from this man and find someone that will treat you the way you deserve.

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Yeah this is alittle off the wall, Im sorry You should release yourself from this man and find someone that will treat you the way you deserve.

 

I made a promise and I am a person who values her word I am going to put an end date on it though I think.

 

The chemistry between us is incredible and I stilll feel like he is my destiny but maybe its not in this lifetime Timing is everything

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It sounds like he has a lot going on right now and can't commit to a relationship. I would not be exclusive with someone in a situation like this. I mean, it's not like you'd been dating for a while and then something happened where he needed a month or two to focus on something specific (like in the case of a medical student who needs to study for the boards or something like that). I think that you should take his busyness and ambivalence for what they are and not be exclusive with someone who can't (or refuses to) be in a committed relationship right now.

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I'm going to be honest n straight here.

I understand lumu how you feel about this man. But I think is he is totally BSing you. If a guy is attracted to a girl, he will find time. period. Men are that way. If they are not interested, they will give thousands of reasons to not get in touch with you. He is giving you those reasons. He has no feelings for you.

Whatever knowledge you have about him, HE has shared that with you right? Have you seen it for yourself? I would not trust what this man says unless I see things myself.

I would absolutely not waste my time on such men. I would not email/call him again. Throw him out of your life. If you have to ask him "where is this going? where do I stand?" that should tell you that its not going anywhere. He doesnt take you seriously. Take control of the situation and you do that by observing him carefully, talking less about yourself, and by not sleeping with the guy until you have evaluated him enough to trust him.

Whatever has happened so far, leave it behind you. Learn from this experience. Please don't cheapen yourself for a man that doesn't value you, lumu. You are worth more than that. take care.

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