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Nervous, how to date?


brahma

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It's been a long time since I've dated anyone. I came from a 17+ yr marriage then had a two yr. relationship that ended not too long ago.

 

Now here I am again. I want to make sure I take my time but I'm no good at playing the field. Dating more than one at a time. I guess you have too to get to know people but I have a hard time with it.

Maybe its because I'm older (41) and very much so ( a one woman man )

 

How do I handle this??

Need your input...

Some men come off so strong.

I'm currently using a dating site because I'm not into bars. Anyone have any other ideas to meet people.

I'm looking for something on the lines of a long term relationship.

Help, Lol.

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It's been a long time since I've dated anyone. I came from a 17+ yr marriage then had a two yr. relationship that ended not too long ago.

 

Now here I am again. I want to make sure I take my time but I'm no good at playing the field. Dating more than one at a time. I guess you have too to get to know people but I have a hard time with it.

Maybe its because I'm older (41) and very much so ( a one woman man )

 

How do I handle this??

Need your input...

Some men come off so strong.

I'm currently using a dating site because I'm not into bars. Anyone have any other ideas to meet people.

I'm looking for something on the lines of a long term relationship.

Help, Lol.

 

I just came out a 7 years relationship and found the dating world to be a strange place indeed.

 

Things I have learnt about dating and online dating in particular:

 

You will get LOADS of emails, some of these will be smutty, some weird.

 

Be prepared for rudeness and lack of social etiquette.

 

Have NO expectations, chances are it won't go any further than 1/2 dates, obviously there are exceptions though.

 

Be picky, only date if they sound like your type, I made the mistake of dating someone that was clearly not compatible, cost me a fortune.

 

Don't be clingy, needy or act desperate.

 

The other usual places that people mention to meet people are work, clubs, volunteer groups, coffee shops etc etc etc

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Thank you Godwin.

Yes some of the men are rude. I've blocked more than a couple so far.

Sighh....

This is a new journey for me again. Just more complicated with the kids. I have to be more sure of who I bring into my life.

Still not loosing out on the dream of finding love again.

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Thank you Godwin.

Yes some of the men are rude. I've blocked more than a couple so far.

Sighh....

This is a new journey for me again. Just more complicated with the kids. I have to be more sure of who I bring into my life.

Still not loosing out on the dream of finding love again.

 

You'll be fine. Children shouldn't be a hurdle to finding love.

 

I actually cancelled my online dating account a couple of days ago then had a change of heart and signed up again today, albeit with a better photograph.

 

I guess you need to be in it to win it and as long as I get one decent connection out of it it might be ok. Fingers crossed

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I came out of a 15 year marriage and then a 1 year relationship and have been trying the online dating thing for a few months now. I hate it and recently cancelled my subscription. It all seems so contrived. I guess being in my early 40's that I am still a little old school and want to meet someone the old fashioned way, face-to-face.

 

Now, the problem I am running in to is the fact that all of my buddies are married so I don't really have anyone to hang out with and go do things with making it hard to meet new people.

 

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and none of this is easy. Hang in there. I have decided to stay as positive as I can and hope something wonderful happens. I hope I am not being naive. : )

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I am 42, attached, but was single at age 39 and have been in and out of the dating scene in the past. Although I never met someone to date in this way, volunteer work- and especially volunteering as part of a community theater group - front or backstage - is a great way to meet people. also you have to be willing to tell people with confidence that you are looking to meet someone for a serious relationship and to ask if they know anyone.

 

In my 30s I met men who i dated through on line dating, through friends, at and through work, at religious retreats and events, singles parties, and other parties.

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Thank you all for the feed back and experiences that you have shared.

I think I'm feeling more old fashion lately and the online thing is not feeling so good. Maybe I just need to take more time for myself and let things unfold naturally.

 

I believe what is meant to be will be. Love will come when the time is right.

I hope.

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Thank you all for the feed back and experiences that you have shared.

I think I'm feeling more old fashion lately and the online thing is not feeling so good. Maybe I just need to take more time for myself and let things unfold naturally.

 

I believe what is meant to be will be. Love will come when the time is right.

I hope.

 

I am old fashioned and to me meeting men through on line sites was a variation on that - we met in a public place for coffee for an hour.

 

Especially at your age when you're not surrounded by single available men (i.e.like we were in college) finding a relationship requires being proactive. "Love" at least to me is something you give to another person - it doesn't "come" to you unless you are with another person and giving to the other person - it's not a car wash.

 

Your mindset is a great excuse not to get out there and then to be disappointed and say there is "no one" out there for you or else it would have "come" to you. That is not meant to be harsh, it is based on my experiences on and off in the dating scene for many years. I didn't meet any of my wonderful long term boyfriends (or now SO) by being passive and "waiting" to meet people. I know few people who have other than in the movies.

 

Of course it is considered more romantic when the damsel in distress is rescued by the knight in shining armor, so you'll hear those stories more often, but they are the minority. I don't consider it more romantic - i love the stories where people actually put effort into meeting each other and effort into growing together, bonding, etc.

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