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This girl is obsessed with me...


pixelplankto

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.... And I have no idea why. She just is. She's a bit crazy. I won't give any more details. I want to be vague. My question is: How do you get rid of a girl who is obsessed with you?

 

I have another question that is unrelated, but I don't know where else to ask: I have another account on this site, and I want to know how I can delete that account and the posts of that account. Thanks.

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You have to make a very clear statement that you are not interested in dating her, and are very sure that you will never change your mind and want to date her in future. You have to be very blunt and clear in case she is the romantic type who just doesn't hear that and thinks if she chases you enough she can catch you, or that she can change your mind.

 

Once you have made that very clear statement, tell her to stop contacting you in all forms. No visits, phone calls, emails, texts, etc. You have to then act like she doesn't exist. Don't respond to any form of contact at all, no matter how many times she tries. Even if she has to try 50 times and you respond the 51st, she will see that as progress and getting what she wants.

 

The only way to extinguish someone else's obsession is to not feed the fire in any way, and prevent any form of contact that feeds the fire. They have to learn that they cannot and will not have your attention and that you will do everything to avoid contact rather than encourage.

 

You can't be 'nice' to someone with an obsession, as they take it as encouragement or approval. You don't have to be nasty either, just make yourself very clear, then refuse to ever communicate with them again. If she approaches you, walk away without speaking, and if she calls you, hang up when you hear her voice and turn off the phone.

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depends how obsessed with you she is. out of 10. if shes a crazy 10, tellin her to do one aint gonna fly!

i had a crzy obsessed ex that messed me up big time.she tried gettin pregnant by another man , so she could say it was mine. after that failed she tried to commit suicide so iwould visit her in hospital.

absoloute nutter.

nip this * * * * in the bud now! before it gets out of control.

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I have another question that is unrelated, but I don't know where else to ask: I have another account on this site, and I want to know how I can delete that account and the posts of that account. Thanks.

send a pm to kamurj
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She probably has a lot going on that you don't even know about. Somewhere along the line when things were good between you, you were probably a bright light for her...and she latched on to you. And it's most likely because you are a really great guy.

 

I know how that is. The obsession isn't even with the actual person, but the hope and potential that the person represents - that someone really great can exist. But when you find that person and they don't care for you, you are destroyed.

 

You probably tried to politely distance yourself with the hopes that she would eventually get over it. But to her, it seems like you cut off her oxygen. It sounds dramatic, but for overly sensitive types who give all of ourselves when we are in love...that's what being cut off feels like.

 

So, have pity on her. If she hasn't shown any signs that she will do you any actual harm...just give her time...lots of it, if necessary. She will work things out on her own.

 

Good luck...

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Why not just go with it/ her? A stalker will find a way to get to you no matter what!!

 

Sorry, humour aside, just if she contacts you again say you are going to inform the police.

 

however, as other posters have said, we don't know how bad this girl actually is... give us some more details!!

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>>But to her, it seems like you cut off her oxygen. It sounds dramatic, but for overly sensitive types who give all of ourselves when we are in love...that's what being cut off feels like.

 

But if a person is obsessive, and feels like their 'oxygen' is cut off if a person rejects them, they don't need more attention from the person they are obsessed with, they need therapy to learn how to not place their center of being inside another person, such that they stalk and obsess about them. That isn't healthy, and need treatment, not permission to contine to stalk and obsess about someone who does not want their attentions. People have a right to decide who they want in their lives or not, regardless of what another person wants. A stable person accepts that, hurts from the loss but accepts it, but doesn't stalk someone else if they've been clearly told to leave them alone.

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I was not trying to justify the behavior. I was only trying to put the other point of view out there, to be useful. To demonstrate what the girl might be feeling...that it most likely not her intention to come off as crazy or obsessed.

 

Believe me, I am not always proud of putting it all out there, and often understand how my actions or words, even with the best intentions at heart, might be taken wrong or negatively.

 

The originator of this thread sounds like a stand-up guy, especially wanting to be as private as possible. However, consider that this girl might have tried conservative ways to get closer to him, but received mixed signals...which could have caused her to use less conventional ways to help him understand her point of view.

 

There does not always have to be a good or bad person....just a lot of misunderstanding. Believe me...I've been both the obsessed person and the recipient of unwanted attention. There are kind ways to get through....

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The kindest thing to do is to prevent the other person from obsessing and wasting time on someone who is not interested in them, and in fact, finds the attentions unwanted.

 

So the same answer still stands. He needs to tell her very openly and directly that he is not interested, and that she needs to quit obsessing about him because it is not going to happen. The girl can then get on with her life and invest herself in people who are interested in her.

 

If he's too 'kind' she may take it as yet more encouragement. He doesn't have to be rude, but very blunt and clear so that there is not misunderstanding as to what he wants (or doesn't want) from her.

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