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4 Months of NC (Update and My Take)


Pavilionmx70
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Its been 4 months officially of NC with my ex. We broke it off and I was sooo heartbroken, couldnt eat, sleep, go out...the usual. But I can remember when I checked her myspace, and I saw her with another guy...it was then I told myself..."Enough is enough...I cant control everything...but I CAN control me and what I take, and im not taking anymore of this." So I broke off all contact. Going from talking to her all day everday for 2 years to nada...hardest transition of my life, but it allowed me to start the healing process. But this is the thing with HEALING...is (example) when you were little did you ever fall and scrap your knee? Hurt a lil right? But once your mother got the alcohol and poured it on the scrap it realllyyyy started hurting? Thats kinda what NC is like. You have to go through this rough patch in order to begin the proper healing. And when its really hurting during NC just know your really healing...nothing is uncommon to man...you arent the only one feeling the way you are feeling and you arent a rare situation. This is life...sad or not. And when I speak of healing...there is a way to heal the WRONG way. Like (another example) you break your leg. Bone snapped...you dont give it the proper treatment...and time passes and yeah ur bone heals but not the right way...maybe its bent a lil bit or ur walk might be off...so finally you do have to go to the doctor...they look at it and say "the only way we can fix it is that we have to break it again so it can heal right." Thats what you dont want...dont go out there looking for a woman or another man (rebound) to fix what you need to deal with on the inside of you yourself. This is YOUR test. Only you can say if you will pass it or not. But go about it the right way.

 

Do I still think about my ex? Everyday. Do I still cry...sometimes...but not like I used to. Do I still love her...yes. Am I in love with her...part of me. But im finally learning how to love MYSELF and put ME before HER. Im not like I was 4 months ago...or 2 months ago. Its hard...but I know I can do it. And so can you. Fight of your life.

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After the stage of accepting what is, there's another stage that really can help a lot. It is the stage of learning.

 

Ask yourself what you have learned from this whole relationship, what worked and what didn't, what your goals were and so forth. Then ask yourself what you want from the next relationship, how you will do it better, and, crucially, how you will choose a "keeper" who will want to be "kept".

 

Use the difficult experience to empower your future.

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I'm in the same battle. We'll carry on.

 

The interesting point you raised about putting yourself before her - i agree so much on this. It's only when i learned to love myself more that i felt little better. Yes, sometimes i can't help but do stupid things, and unlike you, i'm not doing NC.. but i know i'm in control..with my emotios and with what's going on in my life now. guess that's all that matters.

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