maddix Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 First off, this is coming from a 22 year-old female student. This always happens to me. You meet someone great and then you meet another person that is great. IN THIS CASE, THERE ARE THREE. The first - he is 20 and long distance. We started talking on a message board about two years ago. We recently met for the first time and it was great. But he has no money or a job, and doesn't seem to want one or be getting on anytime soon. I paid for his plane ticket to come here. He thinks we are in a very serious relationship and he is completely in love with me. The second - He is 23 and my manager at the place I recently started working. He's so kind and sweet. He thinks we are seriously dating now. He has no idea about the other two guys. He's wonderful but... The third - this guy, age 24, that I have been in love with for two years. We have never met. He posts on the same message board as Guy #1 and knows I was in a relationship with Guy #1 but also knew how I felt for him for a long time and never took me seriously until recently, when we spoke on the phone for the first time and now he has been calling me regularly and admitted he liked me, too. We are very compatible. SO ANYWAY, what the hell do I do? Or more importantly, how do I let Guy #1 down easily? Link to comment
Syntax1985 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 just my opinion, and an answer you prob don't want to hear, i would ditch all of em and get your head straight and thinking clear, because at the moment, at some point one of them is gonna find out about the other, and thats gonna come crashing down on you. My opinion tho. Link to comment
miya Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Guy #1- Does he know where you live? Your exact address? If yes, then you can't do much. Meet him and tell him that you are no longer interested. Simple. Be honest. My adivce for Guy #2 & #3- Choose one! I would say that Guy #2 seems to be the safer, better choice. Guy #3 seems too sudden and fishy! Finally, trust your gut! Link to comment
lumu Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Guy #1- Does he know where you live? Your exact address? If yes, then you can't do much. Meet him and tell him that you are no longer interested. Simple. Be honest. My adivce for Guy #2 & #3- Choose one! I would say that Guy #2 seems to be the safer, better choice. Guy #3 seems too sudden and fishy! Finally, trust your gut! agree with #2 but you need to stop playing these kind of games with guys. Its fun to have guys interested in you but you want to develop a good character and if you want any relationship to work it has to start with honesty. You've already not told the truth to #2 so you've disrespected his feelings. Link to comment
waveseer Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Men are not toys they are people. How would you like to be in their shoes? Link to comment
Ammy Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Hi, Guy 1: Sounds like you're having doubts as to his suitability for you??? Do you like him or the idea of him really really liking you? Have a think, if it is that you're not that into him, then maybe tell him straight and that narrows down to 2 options... Guy 2: When you say seriously dating? What does that mean, have you guys been going out a lot, are you technically in an exclusive relationship? I would be careful as to how deep the relationship becomes while you have other people on the sidelines.. Dating multiple people is okay in the early stages when you're just finding out who is most compatible with you, but if it progresses into a relationship with one, then you have to make a decision. Guy 3: You can't really know for sure you're compatible until you meet in person, I would be hesitant to ditch other options for this guy unless you have actually met and there is chemistry in person. Also, did he know you liked him for so long and if so what has bought about this sudden display of interest on his part? Ammy Link to comment
maddix Posted October 26, 2008 Author Share Posted October 26, 2008 Thanks so much for the responses! I agree that I should stop playing games. When I said seriously dating w/ guy #2, I meant in the early stages. We have only known each other a little over a month but we spend a lot of weekends hanging out. I'll start to feel guilty if things with Guy #3 continue to progress and most likely leave Guy #2 (which is bad because we work together.) It's going to come down to Guy #3 I'm pretty sure. We have always had a chemistry and he finally caved in and realized he liked me (something I thought would never happen.) But it's true, it could turn out we meet and it's not the same, but the chances of that happening are slim. I told Guy #1 the truth last night. Link to comment
Ammy Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Thanks so much for the responses! It's going to come down to Guy #3 I'm pretty sure. We have always had a chemistry and he finally caved in and realized he liked me (something I thought would never happen.) But it's true, it could turn out we meet and it's not the same, but the chances of that happening are slim. Trust me all the online chemistry in the world could equate to nothing... Just don't pin all your hopes on this until you've actually met. I once emailed back and forth with a guy for about months, long, deep emails... Then we met... and let's just say besides there being no attraction on my part, he turned out to be a very strange guy and that is putting it lightly...... Ammy Link to comment
riley123 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Tell #1 that you enjoyed spending time with him, but you don't think you would be right in a relationship. Be direct and honest. The truth can hurt, but it's better then a lie. Link to comment
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