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joan

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Do you prefer your ladies to be submissive, equal or more of a dominant partner? I myself am more on the submissive side and prefer not to be in a vanilla relationship.

 

Then don't date the 'nillas.

 

I made that exact decision about 10 years ago when I realized my slinky was kinked. I figured I had a better chance of finding a guy who had compatible views about the power dynamics of a relationship within the out/public BDSM community than trying to "convert" (for lack of a better word) a non-kinky person.

 

Did it limit the pool of potential partners? Yup. You betcha. But it made those "potentials" more likely to be at least somewhat compatible.

 

It took a while, but I eventually met & married someone who had a similarly kinked slinky...with a lot less aggravation than if I'd kept on dating vanilla or "not-out" kinky folk and hoping for the best.

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Let me predict some answers here;

 

Some men will answer 'yes'

 

Some will answer 'no'

 

Some will answer 'sometimes 'yes' and sometimes 'no'.

 

Truly, my friend, you must posess the gift of prophecy...

 

I almost wonder if I should take offense to that term or not, hmm.

 

Hey, those are "L"s XD

 

Very few labels are offensive in and of themselves, it's individual and societal usage that gives them power.

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I think mostly men would rather to be dominant, but not like master and slave, slightly dominant to the girl. this is why you cant see so much porn when the guy is submissive.

 

She has to be more dominant because if she isn't then nothing will happen probably ever....

 

That and I never like forcing myself at people....it's just easier if she'd just pounce and leave me with no recourse....

 

But then I don't get into relationships ever because...well...I lack any kind of ambition in that department.

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I think mostly men would rather to be dominant, but not like master and slave, slightly dominant to the girl. this is why you cant see so much porn when the guy is submissive.

 

here it comes, the clue train! choo choo....

 

different men have different preferences, moods and emotions.

 

sometimes we like to be in control, sometimes we like to sit back and enjoy the ride, and sometimes we like to fight for it.

 

for the record =

Google Search =

 

Results 1 - 10 of about 463,000 for Submissive male porn.

Results 1 - 10 of about 317,000 for dominant female porn.

Results 1 - 10 of about 501,000 for Femdom porn

 

not that rare to be honest.

 

Offtopic =

 

Results 1 - 10 of about 418,000 for Syntax porn.

 

LOL

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Do you prefer your ladies to be submissive, equal or more of a dominant partner? I myself am more on the submissive side and prefer not to be in a vanilla relationship.

 

I think by being submissive...you are kind of setting yourself up for a vanilla relationship. Variety is the spice of life and changing it up is what will keep things exciting...at least to me.

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I think by being submissive...you are kind of setting yourself up for a vanilla relationship. Variety is the spice of life and changing it up is what will keep things exciting...at least to me.

 

Depends on her meaning to "submissive." To me the fact she choose "submissive" "dominant" AND "vanilla" to describe things in her post led me to interpret that she may have interest in a power exchange/BDSM type relationship. If that's the case, "vanilla" means non-kinky, non-power exchange...in other words the sort of normal basically-between-2-equals kind of relationship that the vast majority of people have/want.

 

In that interpretation, I don't see where acknowledging, embracing and following her submissive tendancies would lead her to anything "vanilla." If her experience follows a similar path to the other female subsmissives I've known over the last decade, she's in for a journey that's going to be more "spicy" than a lot of folks would care for.

 

On another point, the largest percentage of the population in the out and public BDSM scene is submissive men....so it's really not uncommon at all.

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Totally agree with shes2smart, vanilla = non kinky, almost boring sex life. being submissive with the right person is far from vanilla, but it takes someone with the ability to have an active imagination and be able to enjoy the power exchange. The relationship i am in right now i am submissive, not a slave there is a difference. I think a BDSM relationship is formed from the utmost in trust, requiring well above average communication skills which in turn leads to a completely healthy relationship.

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