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I am so lost....


POAS
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I have this odd problem, but I won't go into too much detail. I have a boyfriend, he's really great and I love him. My problem is I've been thinking about this other guy a lot lately and I don't know what to make of that. I am afraid to mention anything to my boyfriend because, well, he might not take it so lightly that I've been thinking about another guy.

My issue is that I dont' want to keep secrets and telling him might be best for me, but for him I'm not quite sure how he would take it. I am not sure if this happens to a lot of teens, or people for that matter but help would be greatly appreciated.

 

POAS

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There's a thing such as being too open - this would be one of them in my opinion.

 

Would you really want him telling you if his hormones lit up at the sight of a cute cheerleader shaking her poms? Or would you feel challenged, angry, or resentful if he confessed he'd had thoughts on occasion? Occasional, fleeting thoughts happen from time to time to the best of us, with no intent behind them. If you are starting to worry about your committment or intentions, make sure the relationship you're in is where you really want to be, but if you're happy with him, and these are definitely going to stay as nothing more than thoughts - they're ones you're best keeping to yourself. It would probably come accross to him as questioning if you love him and are committed to him and make him insecure.

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First of all, be honest with yourself about:

1. Your feelings towards your bf;

2. Your feelings towards the other guy;

3. KNOWING what it is you want out of a relationship.

 

There is a possibility that your current relationship is not what you really want. I've been there. I started thinking about another guy a lot when I wasn't happy with the relationship I was in with my bf at the time.

 

Know what it is you are not happy about and then evaluate how important that shortcoming is to you. Perhaps you see something in this other person that you wish your bf had. However, if you find that there is a major issue (i.e. something that cannot be fixed -- for example, if you liked the other guy because he respects you and your current bf does not respect you), then you have to consider whether or not you want to remain in your current relationship, regardless of whether or not there is another person there. The other guy may not be all that you make him out to be while you are in the relationship with your current bf. Remember: the grass is always greener on the other side.

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