first breakup blues

[Brent]

Ok hello everyone, I'm new almost 18/m/Oz

 

I was 15 when I got into my first serious relationship with a girl from school. It was love at first sight, in fact the moment we started "going out" we started saying that we loved each other in a kind of immature way, which eventually lead to a kind of serious way if you can understand that!

 

For three years we had the best relationship that I can think of! Full of perfection, just utter bliss. By the end of the third year, school exams became hard and I put my head down to work. I scored a place at a University, about an hour away from where I live. I planned my life, with both of us knowing that if the relationship wouldn't work around our lives (mainly mine cause I was moving), it would have to end, c'mon I was only 17 with my whole life ahead of me..! Little did I know, I was being a complete idiot!

 

Anyhow, my girlfriend turned 18 in January (I do in May) and went clubbing for the first time. This is where things got strange. I noticed a change in her, and before I knew it, she was telling me how "free" she felt and how good it was. She said that maybe I was right when I said we should break up if our individual lives made it hard for the relationship. We spoke about this for days and ended up making love and working things out. She was going to move out with me so I could go to University and she could work in the city... PERFECT!

 

However, a week later she left my house happily, said I love you and went clubbing with her cousin (for the second time ever)... Days later I learned from her that she had gotten drunk and allowed one of my mates to stick his toungue in her mouth! I was shocked! THREE YEARS! I didn't break up with her, and forgave her after she explained everything to me... However, we (meaning she) decided to breakup at least for a while to sort herself out (she has always been the most loyal girl in the world)... She said that she still loved me and that she always would...

 

Anyhow, the next night she went out with her cousin again to try and be happy... This is what annoys me! They went to the beach AT NIGHT! Two drug dealers came up to them and one of them face raped my ex! She told me about this and I couldn't believe it! This terrible stuff happening after just a day after breakup! We saw each other again the next day and made out and decided it was going to be the end... SAD! For the next couple of days we spoke to each other every day! I told her that if she wanted me back, all she had to do was ask... She said maybe, and we continued to talk as if we were together again... How confused we were/are...

 

The next day, we saw each other again "for the last time" and she decided that she wasn't going to get back with me now, as she needs to "find herself" which I understand cause she is only just 18 and hasn't experienced much. She left and now I'm writing this... She says she wants to "stay friends" and we agreed not to ruled each other out for the future. She said she still loves me but needs to sort things out with herself... I told her that as long as there is hope for us, I will be her friend...

 

Now what? I feel really bad like we should be together if we still love each other! How can I get her to realise? How can I save her from being naive and getting faced raped again, or worse? I can't face moving out alone. I feel weak and I can't eat or sleep and it kills me! I think I am going to try the no-contact technique and see what happens... But I've only got a month till uni... It just seems a waste of three years... She is beautiful, kind, non-slutty (says she wouldn't even pose for a bikini model mag!), affectionate... The only place I'd find another like her is in a nunnery! And I just don't want her to get hurt while she is "finding herself"... I'm lost can someone cheer me up? How can I get her back!?

[neallo82288]

First, I do not understand what face rape means. Also, You both are too young and have a full life ahead of you. There are 4 billion people on earth and half of them are women. thereforeeee, there is more women out there for you to experience. She needs to get out and experience what life has to offer and make mistakes, because mistakes is how you learn. You have to leave her to her own dimise. She has to make mistakes, so she can learn from them and grow on the inside. You, too have to make some mistakes and you will. Stop worrying about her, because you can not teach her by your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from these mistakes, but they also grow as a person by these mistakes. Let her make her mistakes. You need to move on with your life and learn that there are going to be more womwn in your life.

 

Do you like it when your parents try to push the mistakes that they made on you? Weell, why should she like it when you try to push the lessons you learned on her?

 

Neallo

[Brent]

face rape means grabbibg someone by the head and forcing them to kiss you... face (a body part) and rape (forcing someone to do something sexual) face rape (the "rape" of the "face")

 

Thankyou for the advice, I know that you are right. I'm too young. Now I feel bad for posting the topic in the first place. If we get together we get together, if not we don't!

 

Thanks