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I'm Afraid of Rejection, I Guess


SilverAngel

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Alright, so there's this guy I really like. The problem is I'm really shy towards him and insecure. Everyone seems to like him so I don't know how to approach him. I really don't necessarily want to date him, I just want to get to know him and see if there's a potential relationship down the line, because I believe in waiting for true love and everything. Anyways he's talked to me a few times, but I get really worried around him, like I can't think quite normally, and also, alot of the times I want to stare at him but I can't bring myself to make eye contact because I'm concerned with what might happen after that.

 

The few times he has talked to me I've acted pretty aloof and unintrested, which I suppose comes from trying to not hint that I like him, but I really want to break this and be able to be myself around him and see if we are a good match for friends or something more. However, like I said before, I'm insecure around him and I'm sort of bad with guys, so I don't know how to make the jump from semi-acquaintance to friend with out being rejected or scaring him off. Any advice?

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In life there is always the possibilty of rejection when we put ourselves "out there" but it's well worth the 'risk'

 

Rejection makes us grow and it makes us stronger. The thought of rejection is actually worse than actually being rejected, i belieive.

 

Being confident is very attractive as well as showing independence and not being scared to take the lead.

 

You could always ask him to a casual drink or meal?

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That's true, I suppose the first step is overcoming the fear of rejection. My next little dilemma is finding the right moment and way to approach him. So far I see him in one class, but the teacher is like always talking and we aren't really that close in proximity. Then sometimes I see him in the hall, but I don't like the idea of coming up to him during passing periods. I've thought about finding him after school, but we don't know each other that well.. is that too assertive?

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That's true, I suppose the first step is overcoming the fear of rejection. My next little dilemma is finding the right moment and way to approach him. So far I see him in one class, but the teacher is like always talking and we aren't really that close in proximity. Then sometimes I see him in the hall, but I don't like the idea of coming up to him during passing periods. I've thought about finding him after school, but we don't know each other that well.. is that too assertive?

 

Do u know where he hangs out at lunch time? U could try finding where he goes at lunch and try to chat to him for a bit then ask him.

 

Or else is there a way you can maybe ask him to study with you?

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Yeah, I know where he eats lunch, but that's another problem. I don't know how to approach him when he's already around his other friends and stuff. What I need is a moment where he's not around a whole bunch of other people, but also not on his way to a class. Sometime after school. I might be able to try asking about studying with him, it might be worth a shot.

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Oh damn it, if he is with friends then i would suggest not to approach him while he is with the group.

 

You could try "catching" him lol on his way walking to the group, that way he may stop and chat with you.

 

Studying together is a great start i think, that way it wont be to awkward as you have something in common to talk about, and a mutual reason for catching up, and then you can start asking him other things and getting closer to him!

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In regards to rejection, remember that person doesn't know you. So its impossible for them to reject you...they're just rejecting your approach.

 

Also when talking take the lead in the conversation and steer it to topics you are comfortable about.

 

Do you have assigned seats?

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I understand your problem...I have the same one really. I think it can be challenging to "put yourself out there" and ask someone out.

 

The reason why it is difficult for me is b/c if the person does indeed reject you, the gossip seems to spread through the school/work/social situation and this can make me feel bad.

 

But I'm not sure if there is a way around this, I would try to go for it and to heck with what everyone else thinks. I know this is way easier to say then to do, and I struggle with this as well...

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How To Tell Someone You Like Them (...
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Screwing Up)

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