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I've only ever dated total strangers.


BlueEyedBoy

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There have been 3 significant relationships in the last 10 years of my life all of which I got into after meeting someone in a bar and exchanging numbers.

 

A few texts, phonecalls, quiet drinks and each relationship started the same way, I.e a about a week after having met them, less in one case.

 

Thinking about it, if I'd got to know these people as friends for a few months before entering a relationship with them, I may never have gone out with any of them.

 

Any take on this?

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BEB, this doesn't count to everyone else, but in the UK, when you pick up a girl in bar, your heading for disaster. lol.

 

i think that's ya prob really, try finding more relaxed places were people arnt "tarted up" and putting they're fake acts on.

 

that goes for British women as well, men are just as bad lol.

 

god save the queen

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I have jumped into relationships with people I barely knew . I was lonely and wanted companionship. By the time I knew a bit about the person it was not pleseant , but I was hooked.

I am now trying to get to know people before I am in a relationship with them. It may help. I am just older and more cautious I think, it happens to the best of us.

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I've been the same way. I've never had a relationship with someone I was friends with first. The few people I've dated I barely knew. I do know that the quicker things started, the quicker it was to end. So maybe it is better to take it slow and get to know each other first before jumping into a relationship, that way if you do end up in a relationship you know it's the real deal.

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Usually I have to have known the guy for at least a year or two before I date them. These relationships have all turned out terrrible. I think my current relationship is probably the best I'll ever have and he was a stranger.

 

I feel like i've known him forever though and the other relationships I felt uncomfortable with the guys but let them break down my wall.

 

 

So i say you are probably better off.

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Ive never dated a complete stranger.....all my relationships have started as friends first....thats bad isnt it?

 

could be. in my experience, it just never worked out and i ultimately lost a friend cause it's weird to hang out like we used to after. just not the same anymore after.

 

also, i guess it depends when someone says 'friends'. i consider a friend someone i've known for years, not some new person to the group and after 4 months is a friend.

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could be. in my experience, it just never worked out and i ultimately lost a friend cause it's weird to hang out like we used to after. just not the same anymore after.

 

also, i guess it depends when someone says 'friends'. i consider a friend someone i've known for years, not some new person to the group and after 4 months is a friend.

 

 

Im guessin with me some of them were never just friends and always had an ulterior motive and in my naivity when i was younger i thought that something had just developed in time.

 

Ive never been on a date with someone i dont know, im thinking thats a little strange for a 28 year old, think thats probably just down to a string of long relationships though...

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Im guessin with me some of them were never just friends and always had an ulterior motive and in my naivity when i was younger i thought that something had just developed in time.

 

Ive never been on a date with someone i dont know, im thinking thats a little strange for a 28 year old, think thats probably just down to a string of long relationships though...

 

but weren't your long relationships strangers to start off? or was it always someone you hung out with a lot before?

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but weren't your long relationships strangers to start off? or was it always someone you hung out with a lot before?

 

More someone i hung out alot with before, i had a 5 year one with a guy id been friends with for a year or so and my last one was 2 years and i was friends with him for about 3 months before.

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More someone i hung out alot with before, i had a 5 year one with a guy id been friends with for a year or so and my last one was 2 years and i was friends with him for about 3 months before.

 

hmmm. so it was never someone you met somewhere and went on a date as your first 'hang out'? like he got your number you got his and then just went on a date? never that way?

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hmmm. so it was never someone you met somewhere and went on a date as your first 'hang out'? like he got your number you got his and then just went on a date? never that way?

 

Nope

 

Im embarrased now....

 

Anyways, thats all gunna change, once im ready to date again i want to be wined and dined from the start God damn it! haha

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Nope

 

Im embarrased now....

 

Anyways, thats all gunna change, once im ready to date again i want to be wined and dined from the start God damn it! haha

 

lol. maybe it's not a bad thing the way you do it though. me? i will never do it that way again.

 

it was mostly hooking up with friends at first though. not really a date. sex ruins everything with friends with me cause the girl usually wants to date me. but they were a friend before and i wasn't really into them in that way. dam beer.

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lol. maybe it's not a bad thing the way you do it though. me? i will never do it that way again.

 

Ahhh, the devil drink! ha

 

I guess its just the way things happened for me. I have to say though, im already nervous about the idea of going on dates with people ive just met cos its like foreign territory for me! ha. Thats if anyone askes me of course! hehe

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Ahhh, the devil drink! ha

 

I guess its just the way things happened for me. I have to say though, im already nervous about the idea of going on dates with people ive just met cos its like foreign territory for me! ha. Thats if anyone askes me of course! hehe

 

if you are scared cause of safety reasons, just meet in public places. i always did anyways cause it's fun to make fun of passers-by.

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if you are scared cause of safety reasons, just meet in public places. i always did anyways cause it's fun to make fun of passers-by.

 

No not safety reasons im just finding the idea of a first date with someone pretty scary! haha. Anyways, il not be doing that for a while, im not going to inflict my over emotional self on anyone til im okay again! ha. Im definaltely getting there now though.

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No not safety reasons im just finding the idea of a first date with someone pretty scary! haha. Anyways, il not be doing that for a while, im not going to inflict my over emotional self on anyone til im okay again! ha. Im definaltely getting there now though.

 

i think it's fun to meet someone new and take them out. sometimes you get shocked at who they are and the actual impression you had of them.

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Yeah, i rekon it would be kinda fun cos i do like people and esp meeting new people, i just need to build that confidence back up

 

 

I never had any problems with confidence, always been able to strike up a conversation with someone ive never met. Sometimes get a number, and the next thing I know, we've been dating for months.

 

My point was, if you meet someone in this way, you dont really get to know them completely for some time, sometimes after you feel completely attached to them.

 

This can make it really hard to 'admit' to yourself that perhaps they are not ideal for you.

 

Maybe I should be thinking about 'seeing' someone before 'dating' them, but then I dont know, I guess you'd still get attached in the same way.

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I never had any problems with confidence, always been able to strike up a conversation with someone ive never met. Sometimes get a number, and the next thing I know, we've been dating for months.

 

My point was, if you meet someone in this way, you dont really get to know them completely for some time, sometimes after you feel completely attached to them.

 

This can make it really hard to 'admit' to yourself that perhaps they are not ideal for you.

 

Maybe I should be thinking about 'seeing' someone before 'dating' them, but then I dont know, I guess you'd still get attached in the same way.

 

I know what you mean, you mean your getting attached along the way while your getting to know them, i think thats pretty natural when your spending a decent amount of time with anyone really and im sure if you didnt like them in some ways then you wouldnt continue to date them.

 

If the dating thing isnt working for you why dont you try it the other way and take things abit more slowly and just be friends with the person for a while.

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I know what you mean, you mean your getting attached along the way while your getting to know them, i think thats pretty natural when your spending a decent amount of time with anyone really and im sure if you didnt like them in some ways then you wouldnt continue to date them.

 

If the dating thing isnt working for you why dont you try it the other way and take things abit more slowly and just be friends with the person for a while.

 

 

This is what i'm thinking.

 

Perhaps there is no harm in 'meeting' a complete stranger, its how you pursue things in the following few weeks/months.

 

Maybe just meeting up a couple of times a week for drinks or cinema etc. Saving candle lit dinner and 'coming back for coffee' until you konw what this person is all about.

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