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Terrible discovery


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Today i started my gym class, and it was swimming, basically it was the first time i had really seen myself without a shirt on in months....

 

I honestly look like a holocaust survivor, ive even been on appetite stimulating drugs but as i can tell they are not working. Between all the stress, lack of money, and depression i dont know what to do.

 

Ive always been the skinny type, but 4 months ago i was 200lbs muscular athletic, normal.

 

I weight myself today and im 152 pounds soaking wet, literally i had just got out of the pool in my cloths and towel.......

 

That means ive lost 50lbs in 4 months, alarms are now going off in my head, i havnt been this light since the 9th grade. To be honest im kind of scared.

 

I feel down... so very down, i also bombed a midterm today, im going to appeal to the head of the department... its all so hard, im not sure if its the depression or the medication for the depression but im having a harder time than usual with school and im really afraid im getting near the end of the road for me. I dont know how much more my mind or body can take. I dont really know what to do at all...

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WHEW DANG.. 150! whew.

 

Well man that sucks! Get back on a plan man. Getting back to 200 is gonna take a long time but small steps. Also working you way back up will def get you feeling better. Also it may be good to stop taking the depression meds, I mean if it's not helping yet you may have to try a different avenue.

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i lost a ton of weight during the break-up as well. And when I did eat i would eat fast like i needed to just get it down. Couple of things... One sweats - anything sweet taste good and your body will actually need the sugar (in the long run this isn't great) but if you do want to eat stuff make sure it has a little sugar in it b/c it will not only be enjoyable but help pack on a lil bit of pounds. This is a temporary fix though, but if you are that skinny they you need some ice cream in you fast!

 

I feel like liquids are always good durning this time, that it doesn't take much effort and it fills you up way after you have it. So try some protein shakes. There are a ton of them out there, Also think of mixing penut butter with fruit in your shakes... Then add a scoop of the protein, they also have other stuff liek wheat grass and things that are really good to put in your body. Def go to a health food store to ask. The penut butter is great b/c it will supply a great amount of protein and is high in fat (a good fat) which you need right now. Also they have organic penut butter which is sooo yum and much better for you since it isn't loaded with sugar.

 

Lastly make youself go to dinner. Start spoiling yourself! You must eat when you are sitting accross from a friend or family member. Plus it will really help in the socialness. If you aren't eager to go out then have someone over for dinner or invite yourself over to their home. i started doing this 1) b/c I wanted to talk about my ex 2) i wanted to seem like I was doing something 3) to not feel so alone.

plus it makes you get up get decently dressed, and you might realize other things have been happening in the world that are very interesting to talk and have a meal with rather then just talking about your ex. But no worries i still use date night with a girlfriend or my sister to bring up the Ex and where I am currently am within the healing process with it.

 

Def still go to the gym though! it will work up a major appitite your body is going to start craving food! Trust me - one thing i do know is Nutrition. - plus now you lost all your fat you can just build muscle and have a hot bod!

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I dont know, i dont even have the money to go to the doctor at the moment. Ive always lost pretty intensely if i wasnt power eating or lifting. When i was 200lb's i wasnt fat at all, which makes me even more sad, because it had taken me so long to get to that point, now i look emaciated ribs sticking out, sunken stomach, ever shrinking waist.

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Well, you can look at it this way. Now you can eat the * * * * tiest foods around to gain weight, and it will actually make you look and feel better. : )

 

Always look for the positives in all the negatives.

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Don't worry too much about it (sounds like you've already got plenty on your plate). Just keep an eye on your diet and force yourself to eat something even if you don't feel like it. I, too, lost a tremendous amount of weight after my breakup (180 pounds down to 137, now back up to 145).

 

My appetite still isn't the same as it was before the breakup, but it's now on a regular schedule. I now know I haven't eaten because I'm hungry and not because I simply realized that I hadn't eaten.

 

A lil wacky tabacky is my favorite 'appetite stimulant'

 

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I used to power lift, i have tons of weight gainers, thinking about buying some MRE's aswell. Its just sad that i let this happen to me in the first place i guess.

 

But exercise today, has made me eat 2x as much as i normally do, so its a start. Ill keep you all posted. Thanks in advance

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So, something different, equally terrible.

 

 

Ive been doing good, eating alot, taking notice when i dont rather than just going by.

 

Today on facebook, looked at a mutual friend of my ex page. Her main photo was her an of course my ex. She didnt look so good, she was very thin, very pale, very frail....

 

I didnt proceed to break NC and look at her page though. A little sad by it all, but not a step backwards as these feelings i have now are normal i think, i just hope shes ok.

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Hey

 

YOu say you are depressed......have you been to a doctor about that? Sometimes people get situational depression,from a dramatic event in their lives....I don't know your story but it sounds like a break-up has caused the stress, weight loss etc....I am not a doctor, all I know is that depression can do a lot of crazy things to your head! It also causes a lot of psychosematic stuff..not wanting to eat, pain in the body etc. I know, I have experienced it. It's a vicious cycle......unless you get some type of intervention. Go to a doctor and talk to them....it may just help you start to break the cycle! Good luck and take care.....untreated depression can spiral out of control.

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my thoughs on my depression.

 

I have a family history, ive always had anxiety since youth. I used to smoke alot of weed just before my depression got to its lowest point.

 

So it could be hereditary with situational afflictions as well as drugs making things worse.

 

Ive quit smoking, trying to take active progressive steps towards fixing my anxiety, and i duno what else.

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