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Who is in the process or has Gotten Back Together??


digitaldiva

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Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
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Good question. I started on this site in 05' in this category, when my ex and I got back together I was so happy and didnt really come back to post about it.

 

So maybe the couples that GOT back together, are just gone from ENA, at least for now.

 

As for me, I found that getting back together wasnt the happy ending I had wished for. We lasted another 2 1/2 dreadful years. My recent break up, new ex, I am doing totally different. I remind myself everyday that if someone can walk away from me, i'm ganna let them.

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I am in the process of getting back together. I went 2 weeks of NC, then ran into him at a store. Two days later he asked to come over and said he was madly in love with me and wanted it to work out. I am having a really rough time trying to make it work. Its is hard to forget the past hurts and fully trust someone that has hurt you in the past.. I guess you might say I am a bit paranoid or jaded. Getting back together is not as easy as some people might think. Unresolved issues remain unresolved.

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every time ive got back together, it hasn't lasted long. and ive realised that isnt because it couldnt ever work again, its because we just got back together, was happy to be with each other again, but never once addressed the issues of why we broke up in the first place.

 

i think that provides a good lesson for all.

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every time ive got back together, it hasn't lasted long. and ive realised that isnt because it couldnt ever work again, its because we just got back together, was happy to be with each other again, but never once addressed the issues of why we broke up in the first place.

 

i think that provides a good lesson for all.

 

 

I think the only way it could work out the second time

 

is if you take thing super slow

 

I always seem to see people go to quick,cause there so happy to be back

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I think the only way it could work out the second time

 

is if you take thing super slow

 

I always seem to see people go to quick,cause there so happy to be back

 

its not speed i think, theyres no need to start over again if you both feel comfortable, its addressing issues and communication that need to be confronted.

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its not speed i think, theyres no need to start over again if you both feel comfortable, its addressing issues and communication that need to be confronted.

 

Yes. I agree with this.

 

My ex and I got back together, but, we both did a lot of soul searching before returning to each other. We really only had one issue (13 hour distance), which we can't work on. But, we've worked on how we deal with it. We both came back as stronger people, thereforee, the relationship is healthy.

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its not speed i think, theyres no need to start over again if you both feel comfortable, its addressing issues and communication that need to be confronted.

 

how would you do that though

 

like for instance,the reason for your brake up was because you two argue over the smallest things

 

how would you address that

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how would you do that though

 

like for instance,the reason for your brake up was because you two argue over the smallest things

 

how would you address that

 

People who argue over small things usually aren't arguing over small things. They are just not addressing the actually issue and decide that it's easier to nit pick about topics.

 

Such as, fighting about not going out enough, a dish left in the washing machine, not picking up clothes are all topics. The issue is not feeling appreciated.

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People who argue over small things usually aren't arguing over small things. They are just not addressing the actually issue and decide that it's easier to nit pick about topics.

 

Such as, fighting about not going out enough, a dish left in the washing machine, not picking up clothes are all topics. The issue is not feeling appreciated.

 

thats was my reason me and my ex brokeup

 

we would fight over the smallest stuff,and I really didn't have a clue why

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thats was my reason me and my ex brokeup

 

we would fight over the smallest stuff,and I really didn't have a clue why

 

Maybe she was the one that had the issue and you didn't even realize it was an issue?

 

Or perhaps she is just a nagger or a controlling person....

 

If you were to get back together, before you do anything at all (even before you get back together), you need to lay out everything (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING) out on the table. You lay out all your issues and it'll prompt her to do the same. Fix what you can and don't settle on starting a relationship on rocky conditions.

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Maybe she was the one that had the issue and you didn't even realize it was an issue?

 

Or perhaps she is just a nagger or a controlling person....

 

If you were to get back together, before you do anything at all (even before you get back together), you need to lay out everything (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING) out on the table. You lay out all your issues and it'll prompt her to do the same. Fix what you can and don't settle on starting a relationship on rocky conditions.

 

she had the issues

 

her ex was abusive,she went through hell with him

 

her mom died 2 years before

 

she was a mess,and a lot of that anger went to me

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how would you do that though

 

like for instance,the reason for your brake up was because you two argue over the smallest things

 

how would you address that

 

ok i broke up with someone along time ago because she felt i didnt put enough effort in and take her out as much, she didnt feel i loved her any more.

 

2 weeks on we talked and she realised i did love her and i did put some effort into it.

 

now rather then talking and finding out why she felt i didnt do anything, we went back to normal, she didnt like it when i took her out because she felt i was doing it out of guilt and felt i had to , over time we broke up again.

 

see how that couldve been solved by understanding and communication?

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Then I wouldn't get back together till she worked on all of that.

 

She needs to get rid of some emotional baggage before she can be in a healthy relationship.

 

she is in a new relationship now

 

I text her last week,and told her I wish her the best

 

she said she is the happiest she has ever been and feel so lucky...so I don't know

 

I think she been with this guy for a month now

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she is in a new relationship now

 

I text her last week,and told her I wish her the best

 

she said she is the happiest she has ever been and feel so lucky...so I don't know

 

I think she been with this guy for a month now

 

Yeah, that was just a stab to make you feel bad.

 

Even if it were true, I would never say that to an ex. That's just plain mean.

 

Forget about her.

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I think the only way it could work out the second time

 

is if you take thing super slow

 

I always seem to see people go to quick,cause there so happy to be back

 

Agreed. I'm experiencing this myself right now - he sped things up once I agreed to reconcile, and I'm noticing he is sliding back into old habits whereas I'm not. So I'm pulling away again. Slow is definitely the ticket.

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I often sit and ponder how and why people get back together after they have broken up...regardless of the reasons, I wonder how a person can get back with someone that no longer wants them? I first came on this site in January and there was a thread like this. Someone searching and hoping for an answer and that hope comes from other people's success stories. Each month the same thread came back up with a new person looking for some hope of getting back with an ex. It is great to see the successful reconnections of people and enlightening to see why other reconnections didn't work out. However, I don't think that there is any one formula or anyway of predicting that two people getting back together will be successful. Personally, the fact that the other person walked away is a big enough message. I know that I am worth being with someone that truly wants to be with me and wants to work on a relationship. To all of you out there who are searching for hope that your ex will return, give yourself time to grieve and time to heal and do it in a way that is best for you and not the other person. With time and space you can figure out what you really want and perhaps see that the break-up was actually more of a blessing than anything else. Also, keep posting here and find the support you need to get you through this tough time. There are great people on here who have been through what you are going through and came out of it even better than the way they went into it.

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We broke up on 10.18.08. I am slowing beginning to realize that we are not going to get back together. This is extremely hard because I really want to get back together with him. This is the fight that's going on inside of my head. I just have to be a robot and force myself.

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What is stressed so many times in GBT, is that NC, and reconciliation is meant to even the playing field. Having preconceived notions, the nice way of saying **expectations**, WILL lead to failure, they cant be what YOU imagine in your mind they are. So anyone getting back together cant revive the old relationship, it needs to be built anew. They are not anymore different than anyone else now, the term ex itself is bad. Its putting that person into a specific category for better or worse, but are they? Are they not just like anyone else, people in this world?

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