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I'm 20, and have a bad tendency to fall in love with straight guys. Anyway, I think I've found one who isn't completely, and although I've nearly given up hope, I've still got that little part leftover that makes me think that maybe he did (or still does) love me. Sorry this is kind of drawn out, but I could really use some advice. I think things through way too much.


I met him last year in college at the end of the spring semester, and got his number when class was ending, but didn't think much of him until the beginning of this semester, where we hung out a couple of times. Soon after, we were hanging out almost every day, or at least a good 3-5 days a week. Anyway, around a month ago, our relationship kind of got heightened. At the end of december, right about the time I started falling in love with him, over lunch one time, he told me my eyes were pretty. The rest of that day, we were "closer." One of us would lean against the other or just rub up against the other, and the other would reciprocate. For the next month or so, we got closer and closer. He's fine with me rubbing his leg or his back in a sensual way. On one occasion, instead of taking the empty chair, he took the seat on the couch next to me even though there wasn't really much room for him to sit. He frequently asks me if people are cute, but only when I'm around, or a bisexual friend of his is around him.


One night not too long ago, he was kind of drunk, and we were having another of those "close" times. We were in his room, and I was rubbing his leg. He suggested that the two other people who were there sleep in his room, and he would take the couch, but he knew I was sleeping over too. After a few minutes of talking, he invited me to come over to the couch with him, knowing he was going to go to sleep. I came over, we curled up on the couch together, and slept that way. At one point during the night, I thought I caught him looking at me. After that night, I assumed he was either in love with me, or at least was curious.


After that night, though, he's seemed, I dunno, less close. Maybe it's just me. After having spent that night with him, I'd never felt closer to anyone in my life. Since then, I've been overrun by feelings for him. Maybe I've been acting too close to him, and he doesn't want me to. Maybe I'm just overthinking things, and he just wanted someone to sleep next to him that night. Maybe he isn't gay or bi or curious at all, and just acts this way. Maybe he's just looking for someone to be close to.


He doesn't know I'm bi, and I don't want to ruin how he acts around me by telling him, even though I don't think it would change much. I've second guessed myself so much I don't know what to think anymore about how he feels about me. Any ideas?

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Of course there are two possibilities:


a) he is just playing with your feelings and enjoying you attention. Not a pleasant thought, but as Russians say, "trust but check".


b) my preference: he is curious but also afraid of figuring out that he is in fact gay. In this case, adcmitting that you're bi might in fact help you. If he is afraid of gayness, the fact that you're bi and he is curious makes physical interaction look like two fun loving guys are just exploring and having some good time. What I am trying to say, the fact that you are bi could make it seem more "normal" for him and loosen him up.


Personally I am very very wary of people confused about their sexual orientation. Usually that indicates religious/intellectual/familly inhibitions or inadequaciesThey have a tendency to bring constant trouble and it is just too much hassle - which I am too lazy to deal with.

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