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I need advice!! I don't know what to do....


JayJo203
I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

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So I have been dating this guy for about 6 months and am really starting to develop feelings for him, but at the same time I am finding myself to be really unhappy. I am always a happy person but he just makes me sad. We don't spend time together like we should; he works at nightclubs so if we do ever see each other it’s after bar hours which I hate. He rarely calls unless I can do something for him, He seems to be really self centered and selfish, and has a recent ex just told me was not officially over until early July, a few months after we started dating. He's 8 1/2 years older than I am and has a child. I thought we would be at a totally different place after 6 months and he always makes comments about "how we are getting more serious" and maybe to him we are but I don’t feel that way, and do I even want to get serious with someone like him? I want to just spill my guts to him and tell him how I feel but I'm scared. Should I wait a little longer and see where it's going to go or should I trust myself and jut get rid of him? It's just so hard because I really saw myself falling for this guy a few months ago and now it seems my heart took a 360 and is stuck.

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well, he's dragging it on longer than you are used to. if you bring up how you feel you are taking a risk. but you want to know right? i'd go for it. if he reacts in the wrong way you know he wasn't into you that much. he could be very very slow at getting into stuff now. i know i am.

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Thats what I'm scared of, I dont know if this is just how he is but I feel like its getting worn out. I know he is a busy guy but if I'm unhappy now how is it going to be if we do start a real relationship together? I've came to him with my feelings before but if I come to him and tell him I'm unhappy he will think I'm calling it quits, and really I care for him so much I honestly dont want to loose him but I want him to change some things and I just dont see it happening.

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Thats what I'm scared of, I dont know if this is just how he is but I feel like its getting worn out. I know he is a busy guy but if I'm unhappy now how is it going to be if we do start a real relationship together? I've came to him with my feelings before but if I come to him and tell him I'm unhappy he will think I'm calling it quits, and really I care for him so much I honestly dont want to loose him but I want him to change some things and I just dont see it happening.

 

life is about your happiness. obviously you are not in the place you would like to be right now. this limbo is killing you. i think you owe it to yourself to find out if he's right for you or get the clue that you should move on and find someone that can commit to you. i'd be asking this after 6 months myself, but i have never let anything drag on that long.

 

don't tell him you are calling it quits, just ask where you stand with him and ask where he sees you guys are going. i understand you care a lot about him, but do you want to be chasing someone that doesn't feel the same about you? you can always fall for someone else.

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