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"We should talk" - I forgot, what's the best reply?


stella74
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A man I met through a mutual friend last summer ran into me last weekend and we had a great chat. He seemed interested but he didn't ask for my number, so I'm not sure. He wanted to get some information from me, so I suggested I could email it to him. I emailed him last night and this morning I received a reply that ended "We should talk about xxx sometime" (a subject we had started to talk about on Saturday). But he didn't ask for my number. How should I reply?

 

Sometimes the simplest steps are the hardest, and this step I always seem to mess up on. In the past I would have said something like, "Yes, it was nice talking to you and it would be great to talk again. Here's my phone number." But I would prefer if he asked for my number, rather than my offering it to him when I don't even really know if he wants it.

 

Any ideas?

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He has your contact info already - email is more than enough to "talk" and "make plans" - if he would want to.

 

I mean, I understand your pain I would also prefer to be asked by the man; thereforee, the best theoretical advice would be "don't give phone number, wait for him to ask, but keep email contact line open - or chat in IM". But I am not the one to listen to my own advice. thereforee, realistically you could go ahead with what you suggested, then the ball is in his court, so if he does not call - you'll know.

 

Cheers!

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Be like "Hmmm, yes. We should talk about that sometime. If only there were some electronic means to transmit ones voice to another distant person so that it would literally be talking instead of writing as in email"

 

Yeah.. i think that's too over the top..

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Thanks for the suggestions. DBR - yours made me a laugh. It's very witty but I don't think I could say that.

 

amilasiu - I like your idea of emailing back without giving him my number. The problem I've had, though, is that I get into a situation of emailing back and forth and I'd rather talk on the phone. I don't like to IM or text. Recently, when I've offered my number, the men kept being vague and kept putting off calling, so I lost interest. They kept emailing instead of calling. I think they lost their interest too.

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Stella, I like your initial idea - just give him your number casually and leave it up to him.

 

I find I try to play games sometimes and get the guy to show MORE interest first. Yes for most of us, it's important for the guy to show interest first and not to put ourselves out their exposed with no interest from him.. But the fact is he has shown interest, he has said he wants to talk more, so you giving him your number is not really meaning you're showing more interest.

 

Give him your number and then play it by ear and leave the ball in his court for further contact.

 

Good luck!

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Thanks for the suggestions. I decided to do an experiment. There's another man who just sent me an email saying it would be great to see me. So for the man in my original post, I ended my reply with "Sure, it would be great to talk again sometime." And I left it at that. Then for the second man, I'm going to end my reply with "Yes, it would be great to see you" and give him my phone number. We'll see what happens!

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Well, I was going to give it a couple more days, but here are the preliminary results:

 

Man #1 (without my phone number): hasn't replied back

 

Man #2 (with my phone number): emailed that he'll be out of town until Oct. 28th and ended with "See you soon."

 

So, I think we need to give this more time. We'll see!

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^ Yes, multiple options that aren't getting any results. I guess this wasn't a good experiment after all. LOL

 

It's been one week. Here are the results so far:

 

Man #1 (without my phone number) who emailed it would be great to talk to me: still hasn't replied back after I replied "Sure, it would be great to talk again sometime."

 

Man #2 (with my phone number) who emailed that it would be great to see me and that he'd see me soon after he returned from his trip: has been back in town 2 days and hasn't emailed or called even though I replied "Yes, it would be great to see you" and gave him my number

 

 

Any thoughts?

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^ Yes, multiple options that aren't getting any results. I guess this wasn't a good experiment after all. LOL

 

It's been one week. Here are the results so far:

 

Man #1 (without my phone number) who emailed it would be great to talk to me: still hasn't replied back after I replied "Sure, it would be great to talk again sometime."

 

Man #2 (with my phone number) who emailed that it would be great to see me and that he'd see me soon after he returned from his trip: has been back in town 2 days and hasn't emailed or called even though I replied "Yes, it would be great to see you" and gave him my number

 

 

Any thoughts?

 

Sounds like the same sauce and beans my women put me through.

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And then put him on the backburner: he may come through (good) or not (who cares then?)

 

Give him your number and then play it by ear and leave the ball in his court for further contact.

 

It seems as if the ball is in both of their courts and neither has come through. It's at this point that I begin to lose interest. I don't think it's very realistic or practical to keep waiting for someone to ask for your number or to ask you out. But I've also read so many threads on here from men who take their time. So I'm trying to find a balance between being patient and accepting I need to move on, as I continue to let them take the initiative. I don't want to ask either out, not because I can't but because I'm looking for more than just casual dating and every time I've asked a man out it's never lasted long. My last serious relationship was with my ex-fiance and he asked me out for our first 3 dates, so that's what I know works.

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Really? Why are you trying to get the women to call you to ask you out on a date? I thought you were experimenting with asking the ladies out and showing more initiative.

 

Well I need to establish some regular form of communication so that we can go out. I think I've asked most of them out in some degree.

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Okay, I understand ... except for the "some degree" part. LOL Maybe that's the problem you're having.

 

I guess this is similar to a man having to wait to hear back from the woman after he's emailed her or called and left a message. In my case, I replied within 24 hours. I keep thinking either I'm being overeager or I'm not showing enough interest. But most likely, if a man isn't responding to me in a reasonable time it means he's not interested. That's what I'd tell someone else, man or woman, in my situation. I'm trying to figure out the reasonable time to wait. I don't play games and don't like it when men play games. I think it's important to show some emotional detachment in the early stages of dating as well as enthusiasm, so it can be difficult to find the right balance.

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